I HATE making decisions. The bigger decision, the worse it gets. Before university, I have been mostly a great student, however it feels it didn't actually give me much advantage into the real career. In some ways, I think it's even worse, because I feel like I had/have so many possibilities, yet I don't know what to do with myself. I am finishing my master's degree in architecture, but I'm not really sure I wanna do that, and where I live it doesn't pay THAT well, considering it can be stressful and tedious and I'm not so passionate about that. I always loved doing art, I'm recently into doing digital illustrations, I can do 3d-modelling in 3ds max and thought about gaming industry, but it's such a long shot to rewire your career like that, when I will have degree in architecture, and not in fine arts/graphics/game design/IT etc.
I was thinking about freelancing a bit, but I don't really know where to start. Most freelance graphic jobs are like "design me a logo or silly simple cartoon", which I'm not really interested in, I would like to do digital art, but in a way similar kind of similar to traditional paintings, expressive, detailed, I'd love to create dreamworlds or paint surrealistic illustrations.
And yeah, I could just do that, but it takes a lot of time and effort, and I'm 25 and it's time to really earn money, have work which allows you to support yourself. I feel like I lost a lot of time in my early twenties, where I could develop so much more, and I was depressed, procrastinating or gaming. I feel better now, however I've done some therapy and am on SSRI. And now the fun time is past and you need to be an adult...
And recently I especially feel like the clock is ticking, friends are finishing their degrees, landing jobs. Recently, an older colleague from part-time job I did for year, in architecture, called me and asked me, when I am finishing my diploma, and they would like me to work for them, presumably on better terms. Well, I kind of liked people in that place, but the boss was really hard to deal with, I was working without formalised contract for a long time, and I went on with that, because I wanted to finally do some work but I was terrified. But I asked him for a employment for a long time and he was putting it away, alwyas saying he doesn't have time and will do that soon, up to the point when I had to document I have done some work in my field in uni, and he still waited for like few days before the deadline. And I wasn't thrilled with the job itself. And some workers here used to stay at work sometimes to even 11 p.m and complain they don't even design, but are stuck in the paperwork.
I'm sorry if my complaining is unwarranted, I know there are people who are in worse situations. So I got this job proposition, and if I don't say yes soon, it will be gone probably. And then, if I actually settle on architecture, I'll have to go and look for work, and I don't have great grades in Uni, long CV, or, as you could guess, great interpersonal skills and a lot of confidence. And these are things which you must have to nail the interviews. And I'm afraid. Also, maybe it's stupid but I would not like to work somewhere where some aquintance from the university works. It's just, I don't want to be gossiped about, and that happens all the time when fellow students work together.
Submitted November 08, 2019 at 07:52PM by wayward_thought https://ift.tt/2Q0irX9
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