Hmm, title pretty much sums it up. Alright, two years ago I met my now husband backpacking in Southeast Asia. We hit it off right away, within a few days it felt like I had known him my whole life. We each went back to our separate countries and started texting all day everyday. We had a connection like I've never had with anyone before in my life. We spent the next year travelling back and forth to one anothers countries, and when he asked me to marry me after a year, I couldn't wait to say yes. Right away, he sponsored me for a K1-Visa. Which is like the 90 day fiance show. Basically, it took about 10 months, and once we got it, I had to come here and marry him within 90 days. During that time, we visited each other a lot. I should mention that before we got engaged, I came to the US to spend six weeks here with him, as sort of a "trial" After that, we have to file an adjustment of status. Our lawyer said I should have a work permit within 4 months but after speaking to women who have been in similar circumstances, it can take up to a year.
So, here is my issue. I've been here for two months and am dying on the inside. My husband is busy with work, so I am home alone. In my country, I worked in hospitality. I was paid a living wage, three weeks vacation, paid sick leave, women are entitled to one year paid maternity etc. Although tipping is not customary in my culture, because I worked in one of the top hotels in my city, we had a lot of foreigners who would tip us in the restaurant - so I did very well for myself. Unfortunately, in the USA I wont make nearly as much and his family has kind of looked down on me for being a waitress - so I am already thinking of other things to do. I am an Art History major, which in hindsight was incredibly dumb, but I have no loans at least due to education being free where I live.
Moving to my country was not an option because his job is basically non-existent in my country and he loves his job and after years of dating I will say it's very nice to date someone who is passionate about their job. OKAY, I am rambling and all over the place.
Basically, I sit at home all day. I have no friends, I am not legal to drive. While I have savings, they aren't really enough to do much and we are using them to help pay lawyer fees, plus day to day expenses around the home. We live in the deep south, and I can't stand the ignorance and politics of people here. The urban sprawl here is ridiculous, nothing is in walking distance and you need a car to get everywhere. It's currently 38 degrees Celsius so biking places is not an option for me. The weather is extremes. Women have no paid maternity leave, I am terrified of being sick, despite healthcare insurance. I did not realize that you still have t pay thousands of dollars with insurance.
People here don't give a crap about the environment and can't even bother to recycle their pop cans. I am a vegan and his family are not respectful of my choices. There are no options of me to eat at restaurants. I've always considered myself a foodie - but I'll be lucky if there's even a salad at a restaurant. I have no idea when I will be able to work, I can't afford to upkeep all the things I used to enjoy (lashes, fake nails, yoga, wine membership clubs, travelling) etc. I feel incredibly isolated, and lonely. My husband, bless him. Is the love of my life and is really trying to help me, but I am wondering if this is going to be enough.
People have told me to just stick it out, and wait. I'll get my work permit and things will be good. But, I don't know how much longer I can wait. I've talked to my husband about it so he is taking us on a four day trip to California to try and make me feel better - but money is tight and we are trying to plan some sort of official wedding (we're already married, but want something for friends and family) and the prices compared to my country are ridiculous for that too. I am not sure where this post is going, but I am starting to get irritated by small things with my husband. I am cleaner than him, and while he is clean, it's exhausting having to please ask people to not wear shoes in the house all the time. I have to constantly remind him of things, otherwise it wont get done. He tells me he's forgetful and doesn't mind how often I remind him of stuff - which is true - but I feel like a nag. I just want to ask once!
We have so much fun together, we are always laughing together and I love being with him. I could be with him all day, everyday, but I do need my own life outside of our relationship, otherwise I fear for each of our sanity.
How do I talk to my husband about all of our issues without blowing things up? I love my husband and want this to work but I am incredibly isolated and lonely, and fairly unimpressed with US culture and politics and am just getting irritated over the smallest things for absolutely no reason. This abortion stuff is throwing me over the edge, along with people completely ignoring climate change. I feel like I am in some weird movie. The education system here is appalling.
tl;dr: love my husband, but am lonely and isolated in the usa, and am sick of right wing extreme politics and having to deal with them, how do I move pass this without resenting my partner?
Submitted June 10, 2019 at 08:30PM by IHatetheUS http://bit.ly/2F2n9NL
No comments:
Post a Comment