I listened to an album I listened to a lot in high school and had a very vivid burst of nostalgia

This is kinda sad, not gonna lie. I kinda just want to get some emotions out.

I lived with my aunt and uncle with my two younger brothers for like 8 years. My aunt and uncle are both disgusting humans so I moved out when I turned 18. Since, I’ve adopted a beautiful cat, found a great guy, a good job, college, and I’m truly living my best life. That whole set of chapters of my life involving my aunt is over and has been for a really long time, thankfully. It took forever and I had to make a lot of sacrifices but it has been so worth it and I’m actually happy. I hope my younger brothers get to this point.

Back then, my aunt would do this thing where she had to project her bad thoughts onto me and accused me of wanting to kill her a couple times. This escalated to her forcing me to live in the garage, which in itself wasn’t awful because it isolated me from everyone else in that house. Emotionally it wasn’t great but I got to make my own space and I played a lot of music and I’d watch the music videos on VH1 before I left for school. At the time “Blow Me (One Last Kiss)” by P!nk was stupid popular. I hadn’t really thought a lot about it since but I had the album and I’d just loop it and had a super preference for what songs I’d skip or loop. “Are We All We Are” was one of my favorites.

Anyway though I played that album through for the first time probably since like 2013 and I had the strangest, most vivid flashbacks. It was almost like a hallucination but it was memories and I didn’t actually see anything in real life. Like I remember what the shelves my movies and cds were on, the stupid clothing racks my clothes were on and how they felt, how the dusty back of the TV was, the DVD player. Just like I could walk around that little corner of the house. It wasn’t anything bad, just especially textural kinds of things that I remember. How the clothes smelled, and the texture of the paint on the walls was an interesting and buried one. It was glossy and purple, they had let me pick it out and it would squeak if you pressed on it and dragged your fingers on it but some spots had been patched and you could scrape off with your fingernail the plaster or whatever it was they used to fix the wall it would be annoying under your nail. Also I’ve always kind of wanted to do art and be talented. I had a whole drawer of stuff I used to make angsty shitty art, like sculptures or whatever. And pulling that drawer out and the specific stuff like paint how it smelled, and the packets of clay. Cleaning my dusty dvd cases. Lifting up the panel that hid the tv buttons. The remote, the brown recliner and how it felt. Just everything is so vivid.

Anyway tho back to present day real life lol. After getting yanked the fuck back to 2013.

Submitted April 20, 2019 at 07:28AM by PickleBugBoo http://bit.ly/2DoCXcy