And in other News:
I was watching Best Of The Worst (great show btw) the other eve, and learned that Sly Stallone's signature drooping lip is caused by nerve damage during birth by improper forcep usage. Hmmmmm... I really like that story because he probably got ridiculed and teased over it his whole life, and might have believed it made him unattractive, but he became a multi-million dollar movie star, because in true Stallone fashion, he said Fuck The Bullshit, kicked down the box office door locking him out of the industry, walked into the dimly lit theater, and snarled... "I'll be Back." :D
*[Redacted] shakes their head downward into their palm, mumbling
"Goddamnit, Vince... You just can't help it, can you?? :/ Seriously, you were on a roll for a sec, bud. You were almost coming off as a sane, rational person making poignant observations about life, and how to be, like, a better person an' shit, but no... not Vince! *sigh... you start hearing that fucking Siren's Call of 'Ridiculous Shit for de Lulz' so your dumbass idea is to tie yourself to the ships mast with the wisps of weed-smoke, and the cremé de la cremé of dank memes. Which is to say, Nothing Of Substance Or Value, so off you go bumbling around your psychonautical Theseus Submarine, which is actually of a quite striking shade of the opposite of purple, I might add... and off you go on your idiotic rabid hunt for Libertas, and you grind your frothing maw across the rotting bones of Alethia, and chew the incandescent glass shards of epiphany, but you know that your prey has long vanished, but you can't help yourself, you goddamn fucking fool."
*Vince staggers back a step, and whimsically strokes his illustrious beard before raising a pointed phalngie into the Aether, and proclaming...
"This is all True, and Well, and Good; However... It does certainly remind me of a song... A Vision from the Dream that we had."
*[Redacted] rolls their multi-faceted eyes and sluggishly responds
"Riiiiight, Vince. I get it. You spent your whole life around diverse musicians, and artists, and going to music festivals since early childhood, and have been self-producing music for 20 years, and helped run a hip college music venue for seven years, and have been a DJ for a decade, and were on the verge of being CEO of your own music equipment enterprise, and your whole Life revolves around Dope AF Music, and everything reminds you of a song, but you've already derailed your stupid little story past the point of no return, and it doesn't matter what I say, you're Vince, so you're just going to do it anyway you hopelessly majestic madman." :/
*Vince sheepishly stammers, and digs the toe of his Van's into the linoleum floor; obtantly blurting
"Thanks for understanding me, [Redacted] But, but, but... like, I have... A Dream!" :D
*[Redacted] razes a languid digit into the atmosphere
"Look, Vince. No one in all of human history has ever attained a Happy Fullfing Life by Chasing their Dreams, dude! You need to leave your Dreams behind, sand-blasted and sun-bleached upon the ravaged wasteland of your mind, like a Fucking Adult (!), and scamper your enlightened little rodent feet out into the real world, and start suckling that flaccid capitalistic cock, and if you're a good little United Slave of America, then maybe, just maybe, someone will blow a wad of cash all over your pathetic groveling face, and Then you can be Truly Happy, ok? Sorry, bud, but that is the only way anyone can ever be happy in this world. It's the whole reason life exists on Earth, Vince! God created man to shuffle little pieces of paper and imaginary computer digits around until oblivion, right? And that can NEVER change, right? Society can Never Progress beyond this tiny blip in the vast history of the universe, and all these fantasies of liberation from tyranny has never happened before and will never happen again. Christ, Vince! It's in the gotdamned Holy muthurnuthin Bible! 'God created man in His own divine image, and that image was a coked out wallstreet stock trader in the 80's, sow now we must all bow and pray to the golden cow of Capitalism, God Bless America.' And all that shit our lord and savior Jesus said about the meek and poor being blessed, and love thy neighbor, and be a decent fucking human being to each other, and a rich man eating the asshole of a camel and something something entrance to Heaven... All that shit was just liberal hippy socialist propaganda, and if there's one thing us regressive redneck Republicans hate more than the gays, and people of color, and now suddenly the Jews for some reason (?) Because we didn't give a shit about them a decade ago, but that Obviosly can't have ANYTHING to do with the First Hot Internet World War that is going on under our meth snorting noses every fucking day right now, and we aren't just combatants in this war because some of us have been deceived, brainwashed, and indoctrinated into believing we're a patriot by disseminating propaganda from a hostile nation that, without a dobt, does Not have the best interests of American Citizens as a priority engineered explicitly to further separate, and divide our fracturing nation, and inspire domestic terrorism, and Chaos... No, who do we really hate? College Kids. The One thing that strikes fear and terror into our atrophied hearts is a barely adult blue-haired pot smokin' art student. :/ That's what really makes us Redneck Billy Badasses piss in our over-alls... a fuckin' college kid. And right now we dont even Know why we're scared of them, all we know is corporations and conservatives are Both fighting tooth and nail against the inevitability of Social-Democracy in America, and they're doing it for two entirely different reasons, ok? To understand why Corporate America is gasping death rattles in the face of social revolution, then you need to understand what a corporation Is, what it does, why it exists, how it exists, who and what limits it, and the legal loopholes involved, and how it deals with externalities, trades, shares, golden-paracuits, and the very Most Important Thing to a corporation...MAKE THE SHAREHOLDERS MONEY AND FUCK EVERYTHING ELSE that's what the lawyers are for!!! So muthanuthin capital Sup-G God Bless the United Slaves Of America, Land of the Free, and home of the pursuit of Life, Liberty, and the sacrificial gilded lamb on the alter of Prophet Motive."
*[Redacted] razes strained and weary eyes at Vince, sighs inwardly in defeat, and murmurs
"Goddmanit, Vince! Are we done yet?! You compelled me into resistance two days ago to be the foil in another of your stupid little stories, and I know you have paragraphs of details about creativity, being an Artist, and experiencing truly transcendent self-love, and you still have a few life lessons you want to work into this story, and about eight jokes you're trying to wrangle the narrative into an appropriate humorous flux for, but shit, Vince... I need a break, ok? You're experiencing Parihelon again, and we're all worried you're waxen wings will start melting again, because like a self-imolating moth to a flame, you think happy thoughts and fly directly into the blinding eye of Sol with that damnable pendant of promethean fire that you absconded with from Hades all those many years ago, and you actually Believe, you actually have Faith beyond Faith in yourself, and you can see the super-nova blast at the end of the tunnel, and you have set your mortal fears in the Corona, and you are Ready for the Beast of Ecliptic Orbits... and for the first time in your dragged bellowing Abyssal depth-charged existence... You are Truly Ready to take helm of your own destiny, and you have Faith... but, ummm, dude? Can we just talk about this tomorrow or sumpthin'? Like, I have 9billon gaping mouths to feed, and I've got to go home an' feed the Cyribus, ya know? So let's end with a musical interlude, and pick this up in the morning, ok?
*Vince scrunchies up his face, and peers sideways at [Redacted] for a moment
"Ok... but you have to let me tell one more joke, ok? It's really important to me, ok?"
*[Redacted] shrugs, and sarcastically replies
"Whatever, Vince. We all know you're just going to do it anyway, so... whatever." :/
*Vince turns to the camera, and winks
"Soooo... you's was telling me how's I'm a pathetic piece of shit waste of genetics for trying to chase my dreams, right??"
*[Redacted] rubs their tired eyes
"Vince? You know I never said that because you write every damn word that I speak, ok captain space-caddet??"
*Vince chucles to himself
"Oh my dear [Redacted], you are only but a figmental imagination... a device. A tool. A means to and end, you see? I will have you reborn entwined with the glimmering star-light of the next night, and you will be reincarnated in my Image. Your Creator. To be made in his divine image is to become a Creator upon this world. And to dirty your hands with earthen clay, dust, and ashes, and to breathe life into your creations, you see? So dispite your screeching chalk-board fingernail doubts against the shadow of a doubt in my mind... I will end this story with a joke, and an SSS producing interactive audio/visual experience, eh?"
*[Redacted] starts putting on their jacket and fumbling for their car keys
"You do whatever, Vince. I'm leaving..."
*Vince catches [Redacted]'s shoulder on the way out the portal, and Slyly Smiles
"But dude! What if, like, I dedicate my entire existence to making love, and Art, and Music??? Riiiiiiight, homie?? What happens then?"
*[Redacted] slowly closes the pearly gates of Vince's camp of refugees, and pedanticaly glowers at the star-crossed obnoxiously optimistic harbinger of The Infite Becoming of Shrug
"... well.. I suppose that might..."
*Vince interjects with wide eyed astonishment , and burbles
"No! But listen, dingo! What If... and just hear me out here, but... what if I dedicate my entire Ineffable existence to Making Love, And Art, And Music, And Poetry, and do it all simultaneously, all of it happening in a recursive fractal bloom, and attain trancendant Zen, and Nirvana?? What then???"
*[Redacted] shuffles the Tarotic deck of the expansive entropic direct current flow of the universe, lays a card down on the table and snarls brimstone
*Vince flips the card over, glances at the absurd face of reality laughing at him.. and Shrugs
"You're gonna have to better than that, homie. Because I crafted this game from fathoms beyond creation, and I don't fucking lose."
*Vince turns to Sig, and winks
*Sig abashedly flushes blushed, and looks away from the camera
(To be cont.?)
Submitted November 07, 2019 at 07:08AM by Anatta-Phi https://ift.tt/2Cndakl
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