Hey people, I joined this sub-reddit specifically to tell this story. First ever post so apologies in advance for any norms or customs I'm about to steamroll over. This all happened a week ago and it's 95% true. It would be 100% true if me and my girlfriend were wearing body-cams to record the actual dialogue.
First thing you need to know about me is that I love parkour and tricking. I follow all the best athletes on instagram, Jason Paul, Sydney Olsen, Nate Weston, Dominic Di Tommaso, etc (Google them, you can thank me later). I religiously watch The Art of Motion every year, I train most days of the week, you get the idea. I'm the treasurer of my universities Parkour society and we're pretty good. I'm by no means the fittest nor have the best technique but I'm definitely one of the best when it comes to flips. I also have a girlfriend who isn't part of the society but enjoys coming to socials and training sessions just to watch. Now you have the context, we can get to the meaty part.
Me and my GF were on a date and walking towards the cinema. We were going to watch the latest toy story movie as the originals were a big part of both of our childhoods. Anyway, we were about ten minutes away from the cinema when we were intercepted by a random woman. I've scrolled through this sub-reddit enough to know what the stereotypical Karen is, so I can say with enough confidence that she didn't match that description exactly, she was more motherly and slightly younger. For now, I'll call her EM (entitled mother). Again, I'll be paraphrasing a bit due to the lack of recorded evidence.
EM "Excuse me, what's your name?"
GF "Err, my name is GF, can I help you?"
EM "That's nice, and who is this?" (Gestures at me)
Me "I'm Me, GF's BF."
EM "I see. Have you met my son?"
She pointed at a guy about 17 years old leaning against a rail. I instantly disliked him, as he had this self-satisfied smirk on his face that made it very punchable. Expensive clothes, immoral amount of hair spray/gel, sunglasses, he was practically custom-made to irk me as much as possible. I'll call him EK (entitled kid). He swaggered over.
EM "He's a very handsome man and he told me that you look pretty. Would you like to be his girlfriend?"
GF "I'm sorry what? No thank you, I'm not single."
EK "You could be. C'mon, a pretty girl like you deserves a real guy."
Me "Look mate, GF said she's not single. So if you were a real guy, you'd respect that."
EM "But he's so handsome and smart. He's going to the university. And he's very talented. Show them honey."
EK handed his sunglasses to his mum and mentally prepared himself. This is where I have to credit where credit is due, because the guy legitimately did a backflip. As someone who spent literally years training and practicing, I can appreciate how difficult it is to throw yourself back on purpose. Having said that, it was a pretty sketchy landing and he had to put a hand on the floor. But the way mummy reacted, you'd have thought he just nailed a touchdown-raiz into rudi (Google it, it's awesome). Both smirked at me.
EK "Can you do that?"
You almost have to feel sorry for the poor sod. Of all the people walking by, he chose exactly the wrong couple to try and pull this stunt on. I really, really wish I was holding a beer so I could pass it to GF to hold, but alas, I had to make do with my bag. I could tell she was holding back a grin, as she knew exactly what i was capable of. I looked EK dead in the eye, wound up and did one of the cleanest corkscrews I'd done in ages. And ohh boy, their faces were something to witness. I gathered my stuff, grabbed GF's hand and smiled at them.
Me "Not bad, but your take-off needs some work. Really try and open your chest up, you're tucking way too early."
They didn't say a word, just turned on their heels and marched away indignantly and as soon as they were out of earshot, we both laughed ourselves silly. I know this isn't the most dramatic story posted here, but it has brought much joy to me and my family and I still chuckle when I look back. Hopefully you feel the same and weren't discouraged by my gushing about my favourite sport/discipline.
(Seriously, Google Nate Weston, he has his own personal gravity).
(Also the film was ok).
Submitted October 23, 2019 at 08:29PM by mrmakerey https://ift.tt/31HBtDL
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