Confused idiot

Hey, so I’m a carpenter as of late and I’ve been trying to nail my type for years now. I really struggle with needing constant stimulation. I always need to be entertained and I listen to podcasts all day long to survive. I really enjoy abstract ones such as Lore which talks about paranormal and strange historical events. I also love learning about mbti and life philosophy through podcasts such as personality hacker or art of manliness. I really really struggle to learn from others. I learn best when I have time to deep dive and think. I am not very good at my job lol and I hope something better will come along once I complete school. Unfortunately l’m horrible at school and find it tedious. I’ll probably need to get on adderall to complete it in this lifetime. I learn very quickly but only when I am interested in the subject. Subjects such as mbti interest me and I will sometimes spend many hours per day studying them on my own. I study them because they fascinate me and I like using the structure to apply to things I see daily. Sometimes I’ll be people watching and see something which I will then try to categorize according to my wordview and fields of knowledge. For example my thoughts might be like, “My boss was terrified when we left the shop to do a carpentry job in the field today. I can tell because his voice and demeanor changed revealing panick. He is also over preparing to compensate for his insecurity. He also keeps a fairly rigorous schedule in which he does the same things day in and day out without any difficulty. His fear of change and of the future is indicative of him being an IxxJ. Most likely my boss is an ISTJ which makes sense since he lacks Fe and often makes me and others uncomfortable due to unawareness of the social atomosphere which is a symptom of Fe trickster.” Thats really a pretty good example of how I talk to myself in my head on the daily. I’m flighty and I’ve changed majors and jobs too many times for my family’s liking. I’m told I have a great sense of style and that I am fairly artistic in nature, although,I assume it’s more of a vibe since I don’t practice any traditional form of art besides some writing and painting a rare once in a while. I’m fairly unfriendly and go unnoticed until someone approaches me. Many people have told me that they were amazed at how nice I am in person because they misjudged me. The exception to my niceness is how bluntly I can state my thought is a setting such as a classroom. I’ve actually, on more occasions than I can remember, told my teachers or professors that they were wrong in front of the whole class and proceeded to argue with them. I space out pretty often and lose track of my surroundings. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll last in my job but it pays for the moment and I’m suffering through it one day at a time. My friends judge me for making them feel judged. I apparently give off a self righteous vibe which makes other people angry at me. Funnily enough I’ve never said anything or treated anyone poorly as a result of their bad choices but since I don’t act with them they judge me for being judgmental which I find odd and ironic. Ultimately I’d like to know my type as a tool to plan for my future. I put a great deal of weight into my categories and way of seeing things. I would like to use MBTI as a guide for myself in choosing a career and other things. In a way it makes me feel safe because when I go to jump careers again I can always remind myself that my current choice is good for my “type” and that I should stick with it. Although, even when this thread is complete and even if you all agree on my type I’ll probably doubt it and try to figure it out again. So what’s the point anyways? I guess the curiousity is just killing me.

Submitted October 02, 2019 at 07:08AM by Losttrails2 https://ift.tt/2mRnooY