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EDIT: As of Sun Sep 01 17:06:39 EDT 2019, the post is at [10322pts|36c]
About Post:
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| Submission | I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I need help. | |
| Comments | I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I need help. | |
| Author | jos_the_boss | |
| Subreddit | /r/atheism | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 05:43:05 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 10322 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:06:39 EDT 2019 |
| Total Comments | 718 |
Post Body:
I'm currently on a public library computer using free wifi, because my rich stingy parents haven't bought me a device of my own. This is my only escape to the outside world.
I come from one of those "conservative" JW families, where if you're not reading the Bible, you're perusing the watchtower magazine, praying or 'witnessing to' (annoying the hell out of) the neighbourhood.
I feel like I'm an outcast in prison.
We don't have internet. No TV. No cell phone. My mum won't even let me check the letterbox incase there's 'something explicit' in there. I am forced to attend meetings I don't like. I am forced to pray to a being who I don't think exists. I'm smart, but I'm not allowed to study for school because that's "the evil, transient things of this world".
Why don't I leave? I'm 16. A lanky, bowl-cut teenager cannot face the world alone with no money.
Why don't I leave when I get to 18? I've seen what happens to a close friend. Her family disowned her. Her other friends acted like she didn't exist. I tried to keep contact, but if I show my sympathy with her, I will be severely punished. She tried to get jobs, but it's hard with no experience or life skills.
Guys, what do I do? How do I break free?
Edit: My free wifi is about to terminate, so I'll have to come back tomorrow (if I can).
Related Comments (36):
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| Author | TotesMessenger | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 08:52:01 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 6 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
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[/r/exjw] I feel like this sub would be able to help him better.
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[/r/exmormon] Here's someone who needs help. Any exmos able to?
If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)
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| Author | Sigh_2_Sigh | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 10:48:28 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 12 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
Are you on exjw reddit? There was someone there looking for a meet up in the GTA area a few weeks ago.
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| Author | Texastexastexas1 | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 09:24:36 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 2 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
Keep yourself undercover while you emerge from this fog. Your "critical thought process" is waking up and you need to take it slow.
There is a real possibility that you'll be shunned, and you need to realize what that would look like and feel like. The truth is that they aren't your support lifting you up; they're keeping you down.
You can escape. You can get a job, join the armed services, etc.
There are thousands of ex-jws ready to help.
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| Author | Genuine-Risk | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 09:46:26 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 24 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
Hi, am an exjw but just north of Toronto. Saying hi. If you need anything please reach out, and send a dm. Not sure exactly what you need but Toronto has a lot of services for youth.
https://www.toronto.ca/community-people/children-parenting/youth/find-youth-services/
Hope you hang in there. Be strong.
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| Author | Turbopowerd | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 09:35:12 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 3 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
It seems I understand why Jehovah’s Witnessism is prohibited by law in some countries. Hope you’ll succeed in getting out of the fanatics circle.
On the other hand I sometimes turn off all electronics because there are so much useless information and shit of the world... and you stream it through your brain and it changes you making anxious, nervous and unsure...
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| Author | Wcirmfpwr98 | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 13:40:12 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 3 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
As an ex JW the above advice is very sound. Begin to prepare for your exit. Is it difficult- YES! Leaving what you know and your family to start a life of your own. Yes very difficult but it is SO worth it! There are many of us that have been in your shoes and will help. I’m in Northern California so if your around here give ma a shout. The hardest part is over. You have chosen to wake up. Good luck and I hope we get to hear updates.
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| Author | Gumbybum | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 10:06:55 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 6 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
Hi there. I'm an ex-JW. I was disfellowshipped (technically disassociated) at age 21. I'm now 35, and I can tell you it gets better. If your congregation is like mine, you are taught your whole life that worldy people will never care about you, that your only true friends are in the congregation, etc. This is not true. I have a great husband and very supportive group of friends now. Even though my family and former JW friends don't talk to me anymore, I do not feel like my life is worse for it.
I know that at 16, you won't be able to do the things I could do at 21, just from a legal standpoint. Perhaps you can emancipate yourself from your parents? I'm not sure how the procedures for that work.
Please feel free to reach out to me if you want any help, advice, or commiseration. I'm always happy to help JWs who find themselves struggling with leaving.
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| Author | Aftermath102 | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 15:39:13 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 3 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
As a JW and someone in a very similar situation, my best suggestion is college.
I know it will be hard, especially with your parents viewing every moment not devoted to the org as straying away from god. But if you can pull it off you will be surrounded by support structures that will help to keep you afloat, be in an environment with like minded individuals who are around your age, and most importantly you'll have some god damn time to figure things out without having someone else's doctrine shoved down your throat.
The first step towards this is finances. You'll be living off of loans and work study during your college and you'll have plenty of debt. This is just something that has to be accepted before you can move forward. In order to be able to get the right loan amounts though, you need to convince the federal government that you are an independent student. Go to your school counselor and explain your situation, specifically the fact that they are not signing anything related to college because of religious reasons. Hopefully this will get the ball rolling on having you be considered an independent student as far as loan amounts are concerned.
The second is academics. Now, you obviously cant take any extra time in school because your parents will throw a fit. What you need to do is master the basics, try to get your hands on SAT prep books so that you can get a sufficiently high score. If necessary, tell your parents that it's necessary for enrollment in community college so that you can get a certification. At the end of the day, whatever app you turn in will mostly be propped up on your test scores so you really need to nail this part.
I wish I could give more specific advice, but in order to do that I would need to know where you live and the specific programs your state offers. If you feel comfortable and want to pursue this, PM me and we can go over more specific steps towards this goal.
Just remember that your situation is not unique, and there are others such as myself who have managed to climb out of it. You're not alone even though it feels like it, and you should use that to your advantage.
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| Author | All-Iwantisthetruth | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 08:47:41 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 3 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
Good for you for figuring this out now. I grew up Jw and it took me until my 30’s to figure it out. I saw my older sister’s life destroyed when she got kicked out. I was isolated and “homeschooled” if you can call it that. Which really makes it hard to get ahead. I think there’s a pretty big exjw community in Toronto. You can connect with some people in your area and start making a plan to get out. Use whatever resources through the government that are available. It sounds like you already know not to discuss your lack of beliefs with your parents. r/exjw is a great sub for support and advice.
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| Author | skoolhouserock | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 10:32:20 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 5 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
I'm in Toronto as well. Not ExJW or anything, but happy to help in any way I can.
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| Author | Digibit3 | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 11:46:43 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 5 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
Okay so to everyone here, I am an ex JW (raised 22 years in it) and have a lot of issues with this redditors post-it may be genuine but honestly has a half dozen red flags as karma farming.
1- Not the redditors first post, if they were so much in dire need of rescue, go through their history. Accounts been semi active last 5 days, most of it not serious stuff however there is a few interesting posts that raise issues.
2- Previous post by OP quotes scripture in old King James Bible. JW's havent actively used that translation since like the 60s/70s. They use their own modern english translation (no thee/thou stuff) . For someone raised as a JW its incredibly strange to jump to that translation over the one they would have been raised with primarily (as op claims to be 16)
3- Many details listed in story are incredibly generic , and none are specifically his. Most ex jw stories follow a simular pattern but are far more individual.
4- Their mother wont let them near a mailbox for fear of some kind of immoral literature..but will leave unsupervised in a public library 5 days in a row.
5- 'Severely punish me' , is a weird phrase to throw in..most JW families, even older school ones . Tend not to use a great deal of physical punishment on their kids- its very frowned upon in JW literature. Now some families its true ignore this, but given how apperantly devout OP claims family is its downright odd. Its not like they can take their car away, tech or friends.
6- Female close friend, assuming OP os male ( apologize if not but language reads that way plus the lanky 16y/o description of themselves) , this is very unusual. The kind of JW parent the OP describes would never let their son get that close to a girl at that age for fear of them possibly engaging in pre marital relations.
In any case if OP is actually telling the truth I wish them luck as much of the advice given already is what one would need in this situation.
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| Author | Merari01 | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 06:46:41 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 165 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
also post to r/exjw
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| Author | wipeoutpop | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 08:53:46 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 153 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 2 | |
| Body | link |
Hello fellow Torontonian. First things first, please know that you're not alone. My wife's family are Jehovah's Witnesses, but she is not. Her situation is different from yours, but believe me, I understand what you are going through.
As a 16 year old, you are in a very tricky position. As you know, you are now old enough to be disfellowshipped. You don't want that to happen. Instead, you want to disassociate, on YOUR terms, once have established some personal security. So for now, you need to continue to walk the talk, and use resources you can trust to help you organize an exit strategy.
Your top priority is housing, and that's also your biggest challenge. Trying to find a decent place to live in our very expensive city, at your age, will be extremely difficult. Your best bet, and the one that most young people start with, is a residence at their college or university. You mentioned in your post that you're not allowed to study for school, but are you in school? If so, I suggest talking to your Guidance Department about your college/university application, AND start looking for bursaries and financial aid options for postsecondary students who do not have parental support.
I know that waiting until you finish high school might seem impossible, but in the long run, I really think it's your best bet. I should add that, in addition to being someone who lives in the same city as you, I'm also a high school teacher. I have taught some kids who are on their own, and their situations were extremely precarious. You need to avoid this if you can.
Think of it this way: you are not just planning an escape right now. You're planning the rest of your life, so starting off on the right foot is absolutely vital.
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| Author | Its_the_brain_pain | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 10:11:51 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 315 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
This.
Please don’t hesitate because you’ve been conditioned to think that clicking on that link is the equivalent of entering Satan’s lair. ExJW is nothing but folks just like you who are either struggling through the same thing or have made it through to a normal, happy life and want to help others.
Only people who’ve done what you’re trying to do can help you do it. I wish I did at your age instead of wasting another 18yrs in misery. Hang in there, and know that your life really can be whatever YOU choose.
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| Author | GorbachevTrev | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 08:38:32 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 186 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 1 | |
| Body | link |
I live near Yonge and Bloor, if I you'd ever need a friend and a listening ear. There's also a small monthly meetup for ex JWs in Toronto. It's free.
I escapeed the Watchtower in 2005. Am happy I did.
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| Author | jas_the_j_is_spanish | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 11:42:24 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 7 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:00:46 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
A quick note about self-doxxing from a helpful exmormon.
In posts like this include as little information as possible. I'm not sure if the Jehovah's Witness community is the same, but there are literally people who scroll through r/exmormon, find posts like these, and then try to figure out who the kid is so that they can tell their parents.
Picture if someone in your congregation heard that somewhere in the world a lanky 16 yr old with a bowl cut who knows someone who was shunned at 18 was in the library today trying to leave the religion. Upon hearing that, would they instantly think of you? Then that's too much information.
Be careful. Getting outed early would be terrible. The internet is not always a safe place. Don't give out details that aren't necessary to the story. Mix in a few false facts to throw people off.
A few people have suggested reaching out to the exmormon community and groups like tapir signal. Do that too. Our experiences are similar and the exmo community is a bit better established.
This random stranger from the internet is proud of you for taking action at such a young age. You're going to get through this. There will be very difficult times, but one day you will find that it was all worth it.
Final note. If you decide to edit out the details I mentioned, drop a comment here or send me a message and I'll delete that part of this comment. Really gotta protect that identity.
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| Author | maefloofbooty | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 08:13:38 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 18 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:01:30 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 6 | |
| Body | link |
Tell tale is a great source to learn about some the things certain cults have done, hes a ex jw. I would say if possible try to make a freind outside the jehovah's witnesses, makes sure nobody knows you 2 are freinds. Make sure you can trust them and when you can leave ask them to help house you while you can get a job and start saving money for your own place. I'm sorry my advice may be bad considering I'm trying to leave a cult too so I wish you luck.
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| Author | por_que_no | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 08:05:52 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 241 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:01:58 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 8 | |
| Body | link |
I was in a similar situation although not as strict as JW, just hard-core Southern Baptist. I played their game, didn't rock the boat, read every book I could get my hands on and left home at 18 when I had a job that would pay the rent. The people who will break contact with you are the exact ones you don't want in your life. Start imagining your plan for how you'll get away. It's going to be tough but thousands before you have done it.
I agree with the other poster about checking out r/exjw Best of luck.
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| Author | svenmullet | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 09:19:16 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 4 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:01:58 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
A heads up: Your parents/friends are going to do everything they can to pull you back into it if you leave. They will use guilt, shame, fear, emotions, anything to make you feel helpless and alone, they'll tell you that you're making a fatal mistake, and you need Jehovah, etc.
Don't let it get to you. They can't help it; they've been conditioned to do this, as you know. Things will get better. Reality will begin to replace the fantasy that was your religion/life. Your "family" and "friends" will shun you, because a creepy man at their "Kingdom Hall" (it's not a church! because reasons!) told them to. What kind of mind-control bullshit would make a parent shun their own child? That is all you need to know about Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania. They are a cult, they use brainwashing techniques to groom and control people for their benefit. Get as far away from them as you can, don't ever look back, and if you can save friends and family from them, do it, but some people are just hopelessly lost in it...
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| Author | T1mac | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 09:01:27 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 7 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:02:14 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 1 | |
| Body | link |
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| Author | bedwards740 | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 08:47:51 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 2 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:02:14 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
The subreddit r/exjw would really be able to able. I’ll cross post so by the time you get back on you’ll maybe have some better advice . Stay strong.
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| Author | Its_the_brain_pain | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 10:34:16 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 373 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:02:43 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
I can’t speak for other religions, but it’s unfortunately very necessary for this one: Jehovah's Witnesses, Shunning and Suicide
Edit: added link
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| Author | torotech | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 09:28:43 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 3 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:02:43 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
I feel for you. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You're not alone and it will get better. I was lucky as a JW in that my dad was a non-believer and so my parents weren't very strict. But I did still bear witness to the extreme gas-lighting and brainwashing that happens especially with the super strict parents. I really hope you can escape and break free, and now. So I'm not going to discuss that since others already have. I'm going to discuss what to do if that doesn't happen. Plan B.
Look at these next few years, not as a prison sentence, but as a learning experience. An opportunity to build yourself. Your life is your story to tell, not theirs. Don't let anyone put your story on hold. Maybe you lack control of your physical presence, but you can control your mind. Trust me, when I broke free at 18 I was an expert at focusing my mind past/through distractions.
Immerse yourself in the stories of others that have had to endure struggles against their own will. "Obstacle is the way" and "Art of Living" are good entry-level books.. Study stoicism which helps you detach from the never-ending judgment that you are going through. To gain perspective into cultivating mindset Read "Long Walk to Freedom" about Nelson Mandela. Maybe you can tell your parents they're required reading for a school project. If my experience is similar, you're an expert at lying to your parents and elders so I'm confident you'll find a way. It'll be hard, but this is your story to tell OP. If they're going to imprison you, be the hero, don't let it break you down, let it build you up.
Best of luck!!!
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| Author | RobynStarliteHope | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 08:49:15 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 15 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:02:43 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
I’m am an ex-jw. For me, education was my path to freedom. I knew I needed to be financially independent and that focusing on my education was my path out. My family supported me going to college and received a lot of heat for it. Your conservative family probably won’t be so kind. Can you talk to a school counselor? He/she should be able to help you apply to colleges.
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| Author | Paulemichael | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 05:51:29 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 3544 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:05:41 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 76 | |
| Body | link |
Ask for help/advice on exjw.
Good luck. You are not alone.
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| Author | KinderKeeper | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 13:28:39 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 36 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:05:41 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
Not an exjw, but a “run away”. Find out exactly what info you will need for college and get it before you leave. I had to wait till I was 25 till I could file for financial aid because my mom wouldn’t give me her social to apply, and I wasn’t emancipated so I couldn’t apply without it till that age.
I hope to hell I’m wrong and that this has changed since then because it put me on one hell of a detour through life.
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| Author | roseofjuly | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 13:09:08 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 5 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:05:41 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
The ex-mormons and we exJWs call each other cousins, lol.
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| Author | Onegooodapple | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 09:07:21 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 3 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:05:41 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
I grew up as a witness, my dad was the PO of the Kingdom Hall. I was baptized at 15. I will tell you there is sure fire to escape and not lose your family. The answer is education. Your family doesn’t want you to go to college probably, like mine. Go to college, no matter how hard it is just go. Go to community college and study English. You’re family will let you go attend college if you tell them you want to be a teacher and not an anthropologist. Don’t settle for trade school, you will love learning. Use the knowledge you gain to slowly distance yourself while trying to be respectful of their beliefs. Please feel free to message me if you want to talk more. Study other religions, show your family the commonalities respectfully. My parents still try to witness to me about armageddon, I respond with global warming and the browning of the earth and how we need to do something now and not keep waiting for Jesus to return. All the best good buddy!
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| Author | aequitas3 | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 10:34:20 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 28 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:05:41 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 2 | |
| Body | link |
Just a heads up, it's way faster to type in the sub name like "r/exjw" (or /r/exjw if you never broke the formatting habit when that only worked) as it'll auto link the sub
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| Author | RavenApocalypse | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 08:42:23 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 11 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:05:41 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
The next time you are at the library, check out the YouTube channel telltale atheist. He is an EX-jw and has some videos explaining what to do.
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| Author | haylurone | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 11:57:19 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 3 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:05:41 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
My dad was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. When he was 18, he got a job and moved out. When he was ready he went to the kingdom hall and told them he was leaving, and he did. It took a long time but he finally went to college in his late 20s after he'd been discouraged from attending college for his whole life. His family was dirt poor so he didn't have to give up much when he left but he did lose his family who disowned him. He was still allowed to talk to them but it ruined the relationship. His mother didn't attend his wedding, etc. His brother left too but in a more dramatic fashion and he was disassociated so no one could speak to him.
Anyway, point is, it was hard and he had to do a lot on his own. But with hard work and saving and courage, he built a wonderful life for himself. He's been married for 35 years, has a loving family, a home, a boat, plenty of friends, and freedom from religion. His brother who left also built a wonderful life of his own with a wife two daughters, a home, freedom from religion, etc.
The reality is that when peoole go to college they make new friends and often leave the high school friends behind anyway. So it'd be pretty normal to lose touch with your friends anyway.
I'd say save what money you can, get a job, save more money, get your own place, go to community college first, then transfer to a 4 year school, get a therapist, and be brave. It'll be hard but you can do it if you want to. You will lose some important things and people, no doubt, but you will build something even better of your own.
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| Author | fencerJP | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 07:59:55 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 119 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:06:39 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 4 | |
| Body | link |
OP, this is a shitty situation that your parents have put you in. It really really sucks that they're forcing you to choose between your family and your beliefs, but unfortunately everyone still in the JW community is likely to shun you, ironically because they're terrified of being shunned in turn.
You need to be aware that life is probably going to suck for years to come if you do go through with this. It's going to be hard, and lonely, and you may never see some of your family again. That's the awful truth.
If you do continue with this, make sure you find people you can talk to and rely on for the support that you need. Your friend that left, along with exjw and some of the support groups mentioned by others will all be good starting resources.
You'll need a job. Apply for anything and everything, starting with fast food, even if you aren't entirely qualified. Sometimes you'll be surprised where you get a bite. Get a job, and once you have that under your belt, start working to improve your skills for something better. Go to college if you can afford it, or take a look at the free courses available online. Study your ass off, and you should be able to improve your life little by little. Trade school is another great option!
You'll need a place to stay. I don't have any recommendations on this, but perhaps those support groups can connect you to somewhere.
Good luck, OP. You're going to need it!
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| Author | patafla | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 08:50:53 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 7 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:06:39 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
Hey, I hope you get a chance to see this soon. I also grew up as a Witness, getting out isn’t easy but it’s worth the effort even more than you can imagine!
I found a lot of great help at r/exjw, they’ve all been through it too.
Some quick advice, be as vague as you can about giving personal details away online, especially location or identifying information. If an active Witness finds it they will report back to your local elders.
If you are not homeschooled, go to a teacher or school councillor that you trust and tell them that you stuck in a high control cult. If you are homeschooled maybe your local social services.
When you do get out, don’t expect your family and friends to keep you in their life. You don’t control them, you control you, so go out and make new friends wherever you want. One of the greatest realisations I had when I left was that any person I met could be a potential friend. I have a great group of unconditional people in my life now, something that isn’t possible when you’re still in.
Feel free to message me if you need to.
Best of luck!
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| Author | chezzuschrist | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 12:00:28 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 3 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:06:39 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
I was a JW in the same situation as you are right now. I was disowned and had no friends. Here is what helped me.
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Move out when you are 18 yo, but first find a job.
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Apply for financial aid and let your school know specifically about your situation. You may have to take few loans.
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Inquire about jobs located on the school campus as those positions are there to help students.
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Join a club and get as active as possible. You will definitely meet awesome people!
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Look into seeing a therapist as it is hard ASF being disowned by your family.
Please let me know if you have questions. Hope everything works out for you!
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| Author | ImNoScientician | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 10:29:25 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 480 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:06:39 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 24 | |
| Body | link |
Ex-JW here. I have a lot of sympathy for what you're going through. As bad as your situation is, what you have going for you is that you've decided to get out young. The best thing that you can do right now is set yourself up for success for your future life free from the cult. It's coming up quickly.
You're apparently still in school (hopefully you aren't home schooled). Your parents most likely are strongly against higher education Ignore that. Start preparing for college. Talk to school counselors, your teachers, whoever you can to help you get into college, hopefully with a lot of financial aid. The resources are out there. Tell then about your situation. Education professionals will not be sympathetic to parents that actively discourage education. Make them your allies. Do not tell your parents about your college plans until you absolutely have to. (Of course none of this applies if your parents are actually pro-college, as I understand some JWs actually are now).
If you can't take it any more than do as others have suggested and try to get child services involved as others have suggested. I don't have any experience with that, that's up to you to decide if that's a step that you need to take. I second r/exjw as a great and supportive resource. You didn't say where you were located but on the odd chance that you happen to be in Central Texas and want to meet up with some sympathetic ex-JWs I'd be happy to introduce you. If you're not then the folks at r/exjw can probably help you meet some others that have been through what you're going through in your area.
Above all try to stay positive. This part of your life will be over soon. There's a whole big exciting life waiting for you after you get out. Start preparing now. Feel free to PM me if you need to chat.
Edit: Someone has cross posted this over at r/exjw. There's already a lot of support for you over there make sure you check it out.
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| Author | Orangyfrreal | |
| Posted On | Sun Sep 01 09:06:22 EDT 2019 | |
| Score | 3 | as of Sun Sep 01 17:06:39 EDT 2019 |
| Conversation Size | 0 | |
| Body | link |
OMG that's terrible. My girlfriend grew up with a mom that is a Jehovah's Witness and a dad that wasn't, but he died when she was thirteen. Her two year younger sister got baptized. My girlfriend got kicked out at sixteen because she refused to get baptised. Luckily she has an aunt on her late dad's side that lived close that she could stay with. Her younger sister ended up getting pregnant out of wedlock. So she was excommunicated. Her mom still talks to her, but pretty much only to watch her son, which she charges her for.
Her mom still talks to my girlfriend, even though she wasn't married to our daughter's dad because she never got baptized. I started dating her when she was two months pregnant and our daughter is almost a year. Her mom still thinks I'm going to "use her for sexual pleasure," because I'm an atheist and not the real father.
I just know that my girlfriend and her sister are super close now that they're in their thirties. It's heartbreaking that your parents could turn a sibling against you.
Submitted September 01, 2019 at 02:01PM by jw_mentions https://ift.tt/2ZJvjSC
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