If you're a first time burner or first time poster read through this before you post. It may answer the question you were thinking of making a new thread about (and many more you didn't know you had!).
The Survival Guide is ESSENTIAL reading for every participant – both first timers and veterans including people that ae not even considering coming to Burning Man. If you don’t read it, we will hunt you down on the playa and “do things”.
Got kids coming along? OK. Tag ‘em.
Read the Survival Guide again. It's required reading for the event so you may as well get that done. The “First Timers Guide To Not Screwing Shit Up” is also required reading if you've never been before. And of course the “What the Fuck do I Need to Bring?” guide will answer a lot of your questions.
There's also a whole heap of info and links in the sidebar of this sub right over there --->
Please read some damn posts before you post a question to avoid asking something that has already been answered a bunch of times. Seriously, new threads are not meant to be your slacker, weak-ass, lazy fuck, info-source. If you start a thread that could have been answered by using any of the above resources you'll likely catch a fuck ton of shit because we have no life except to chastise the uninitiated. And you'll kinda deserve it because that’s like the deal.
Ticket Info:
• Don’t buy a ticket unless your first light a candle at midnight and chant three times: “I want to go and participate, give something of myself and not be a selfish asshole and just watch people and shit happen. I know what “Participants Only” and “No Spectators” means. I may even get that as a tattoo before I go”, say that three times and you’re good. Find a tattoo that tattoo parlor, include “the Man” logo.
• If you are an “Influencer” that wants to “put your brand out there from the playa” or just wanna do this for some commercial photo shoot…fuck off. Like fuck right off. Stop reading now and fuck off.
• If you are someone’s personal assistant and tasked with getting some asshole’s tickets because they are too busy to “do the little things”, ask them for their credit card details (including the three numbers on the back and their mother’s maiden name, favorite pet’s name, etc.) and send them to us. In a few weeks you can then tell them that you heard the ticket program credit card thing at Burning Man was compromised.
• If you are a personal assistant that acted in accordance with the prior bullet point, congratulations! You are going to get a ticket to Burning Man because WE WANT YOU IN OUR CAMP! We will buy you a ticket as a part of a, shall we say, and “Employee Appreciation Program”.
• Actual coherent ticket info can be found in the world. Go find it. It’s called Google.
• If you are still reading and where instructed to fuck off because you are a narcissist god damn influencer or from an advertising agency, please fuck off right now.
Events, Parties & Workshops
• The events guide for 2020 will come out after the event. Half the cool shit you’ve heard about is true the rest is crap and happened years ago. Old people talk about it, but that shit’s over now. “Why back when I was a just a little bastard Burner young-un we had to use flint to start the man on fire, hell, there were mastodons and triceratops back then. We had to swim the whole time because it was in and ancient body of water called Lake Lahontan and there was a fucking actual volcano in deep playa.” You will find awesome stuff, but bring your contribution as well, and the whole balance of the cosmos will be realized.
• Lots of famous DJs play at Burning Man, but the burn is NOT a music festival. OK, look, we say that a lot but no one can hear us over the barrage of noise that is an absolute shit-ton of DJs competing at 2 and 10 and everywhere in deep playa. Can’t hear a fucking thing. Just keep yer yap shut if you think you are a big deal DJ or paid some DJ to glorify your art car or camp. How about WTF if no one gets paid to DJ shit? Radical much? No advertising bro, yo. Yes, it’s a musical festival kinda thing but that sounds like finger nails on a chalkboard to us. Sigh.
The Reddit Meet-Up:
• Shit, every damn year we have the best intentions of meeting but shit happens right? Half the time we don’t even know what day it is let alone remember where or when shit we wanted to do is going to actually occur. Fuck knows if there will be one. See watches on any nude people on playa? Nope.
Placement:
• You will get a place right next to a heavy metal camp filled with black clothed people that hate you deeply upon meeting you for the first time and your sleep patterns. They don’t even like each other very much and will have huge fights and shit at like 4am for a couple of hours. The have a huge generator too. Right on your fucking camp boundary line. A cheap loud-ass one. Deal bro.
GENERAL INFO/FAQ
• We previously had a whole bunch of questions about yurts (and yurt tape) so check out everything that has ever been written in the history of the internet before starting one of your own please. You Tube much? If you post about “how do I air condition a yurt”, we will bury you. FFS right?
• Joining a camp is NOT a requirement. Jesus, if you wanna know infantile and endless camp drama, join a camp of people that can barely hold their shit together in the real world. Shit breaks on playa, ya know what we mean? Shit breaks into little pieces quick. Read our digital lips: SMALL CAMP of adults in your first year.
Other great threads worth checking out
• There is none. This sub is the scroll that came down off the mountain ya’ll. Worship no other gods.
Weekly Topics
• This sub is mostly shit thrown against the wall. Really. Burners. Random shit all the time without structure. “Participate, No Spectators”. Jump right in, but beware of the live snarks.
POSTING GUIDELINES
• If you're posting something of interest to the community and not asking a question this advice probably isn't for you. If you are an “Influencer” look, we told you to fuck off, like way off. No, we actually don’t want your best yoga pose in deep playa or all that other “Me! Me! Me! shit.
DO NOT:
Posts with nudity must be marked with a “WTF THIS Is Awesome!” flair (once you post, go back to your post and you’ll see this option).
Posts including photos where it's not clear the photographer did a mind meld to get a photo release agreement (with an ink signature) from everyone all the way out to the horizon including anyone in a parachute or in an aircraft….will be deleted. One pixel images of a person counts. We will know them by their color scale spectrum. Science. Don’t post people’s shadows either. Silhouettes? Nope.
Posts for selling/advertising/promoting will result in a break-in to your home to steal all things digital. We dare you. Yeah, all those techies are on our side now. We party with them and they can find you.
Look, don’t leave the playa with your booze and best stuff. Give it to Gate. “Natural Resources of the Great State of Nevada”.
Other than that, welcome to the dust.
(with gratitude to /u/garvinfred, from whom I blatantly copied most of the above and kept the original Australian term "you can fuck right off").
Submitted September 22, 2019 at 04:37AM by BlackRockPhotoShop https://ift.tt/332r46R
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