It’s technically Friday where I am, so I’m deciding to share this story.
A few years ago, after I had graduated high school, I was in a relationship that turned abusive. My ex partner was controlling, manipulative, and at times violent. He controlled every aspect of my life. What I ate, what I wore, that was all up to him. He wanted me to look a certain way. One thing that he always hated about my appearance was my nail biting.
Ever since I can remember I had bitten my nails. This man was determined to make me stop. Even more so, he was determined to be the reason that I stopped. He bought me that bitter tasting polish, and still I’d bite my nails. He tried replacing my biting with different things to occupy my hands and mouth, pushing cigarettes and lollipops on me. And when that didn’t work, he’d verbally and physically abuse me.
That was years ago, and I’m away from that relationship and doing better. Doing amazing some days.
Late last year I decided I wanted to stop biting my nails, and now I actually have long nails! I don’t know why I did it. Maybe I liked the look of them, or I wanted acrylics but didn’t want to pay for a salon, or maybe I just watched too many nail art videos. Whatever the case, I have long nails now and it feels amazing.
And sometimes my current (wonderful and caring and non abusive) boyfriend will catch me staring at my hands, or I’ll catch myself doing it. And maybe it’s half because my nails are pretty, but a good part of me is yelling out inside: “That’s right, I did it! ME! You didn’t help at all! Everything you tried was useless and I’m stronger than you!”
And in the end I guess I just wanted to say that my nails will always be so much more than nails. And I know that for some of you it’s the same. Whether you do it for a way to express your creativity, or revenge, or just because...nails can be so much more than just nails for some people. I’m really grateful for this subreddit, and for a chance to tell this story.
Submitted June 07, 2019 at 10:29AM by RealHorrorShowvv http://bit.ly/2I1Bega
No comments:
Post a Comment