Does anyone know the name of what i'm experiencing?

Hi, i'm Akira, i'm 18, she/her, I hope this isn't a question not allowed here, but i'm hoping to seek help someday of one of my problems. It's a side effect I've seem to got from something traumatic that has happened in my life and i'm still suffering the emotional turmoil over (I don't feel comfortable talking about this right now with anyone but close friends), however as a result of this bigger problem, it seems when thoughts of it start to really get me worked up, my mind seems to go into a state of, what i'd describe as from constantly looking into myself, and always analyzing what my mind is doing (cause i'm fascinated in psychology but also to understand), identity crisis, However, I don't know if this is the correct term, or if this is something more serious with a different name, like disassociation, so i'm going to describe some of what I feel/what happens:

1. When i go into these episodes, my mind seems to distance itself from my identity and all of who i am almost completely. I am filled with feelings of "I don't know who I am", and sometimes this is accompanied by some emotional numbness. When i look in mirrors, or at pictures, or art of myself, there's no feeling of connection or "that's me", it feels like i'm looking at a complete stranger. It's very uncomfortable, and terrifying, but i can't even fully react cause of the emotional numbness part of it all
2. But it gets worse, sometimes even my mental image changes, to clarify what i mean by mental image, mental image in this case and how i'm using it means: What you see yourself as appearance wise, usually people's mental image is what they see in the mirror, so essentially, just how you look, however one's mental image can be different from what is in the mirror, and that's where we get into this; sometimes when having these episodes my mental image changes to something completely different from how i look, usually something humanoid but non-human. More often than not when in these "identity crisis" episodes, my mental image changes to a slightly taller, skinny, pale white (not the skin color, just the color), with no neck and instead of a head, a floating diamond shape (like this: <> but right-side-up). However, sometimes it's not that, sometimes my mental image changes to all kinds of things, sometimes it can cause physical sensations related to what the mental image is, once my mental image in one of these episodes was me being taller than i actually am, having cyan glowing skin with moving patterns i can't really describe too well, flowing glowing white hair, and glowing white eyes, and no triceps, only floating arms, wrists and forearms, with very minimal clothing, only enough to cover anything nsfw (like a loin cloth and stuff like that). Another time my mental image changed to some ghastly ghost queen thing...? it was strange, (in my mental image) i had dark gray skin, yellow freckles, black scelera, yellow sharp cat-like irises, a very Gothic styled queen dress that was tattered and worn, long black sharp nails, and a abnormally tall crown, that seemed to have the pattern of almost a cage it seemed, also no legs, instead a wispy-like ghost tail. These are just 3 examples i can remember off the top of my head, but non the less it's very strange, and i'm not sure if this is normal for identity crisis or something else.
3. Sometimes when my mental image involves some extra limb in these moments sometimes it can almost feel like it's there? but i know it's not? or sometimes just feeling like you look like the thing your mind is showing you, even if you know consciously you don't look like that?

That's all i can think of at the moment but feel free to ask more questions, but does anyone know what this is called? is this normal for identity crisis or does it sound more like something else? The main purpose of this is to find out the correct terms so I can in the future seek proper professional help, I just need a bit of direction in finding the right terms to describe this in order to know where to search for help so I'm not looking up help for the wrong problem.

Submitted May 24, 2019 at 06:07PM by Akira_Tanikel http://bit.ly/2QqXGC8