So I'm obviously new to Reddit here. Honestly I only created this account so I could share my story. Oh and hopefully RSlash picks this up as well ;) (Love your stories and videos!) Please excuse any mistakes in forum rules, I'm still trying to figure out Reddit. And please bear with my story as it is long, but oh so worth it.
Backstory:
(Trigger Warning) I was adopted as a child from South Korea into an American family and was abused in many many ways. I won't go into the exact details here but my background led me into the relationship this story is about. As it was, I did not learn what a good and loving relationship should be like and was not able to recognize being groomed as a late teen by a much older man.
Enter asshole/pedophile psychotic narcissist (AP for short). He was 32 and I was not quite 19 yet., I am now 38. I ended up being whisked away from the only real family I knew (Sis, Mum and Dad-no blood relation but I was their unofficially adopted daughter) to California. From the beginning I noticed some things were off when I was being groomed but didn't know to recognize the signs of grooming. 2 years into the relationship the abuse really started in earnest.
Over the course of our travels and problems, I noticed that he would talk incessantly online with other women. He even made it a point to tell me about one that turned him on at a job site (he worked telcom construction jobs). I also caught him online with a 16 year old (he told me amidst severe paleness and sweating, stammering and fear).
At this point it was like having to take care of an adult aged baby who had to have things his way all the time. I enjoyed when he left for weeks on end, sometimes months for work. It meant that I didn't have to deal with his ass all the time.
Just to clarify why I say it was like taking care of an adult aged baby, he would literally shit himself and drip it all over the floor on his way to the bathroom and then make me clean it up. This happened all the time. That's just one example. He would throw the Christmas tree more often than not during some argument or another during the holidays, so I started not putting one out. Throwing things, breaking furniture and punching holes in walls, sexual abuse, rape, those sorts of things.
About 8 years into the relationship AP ended up getting an inheritance from an uncle who passed away in his family and so started the "If you ever take my money and leave, I'll find you and kill/shoot you" threats (he was big into guns and had many). Mind you this is a man who is a severely paranoid psychopath, which I eventually learned that he was a paranoid schizophrenic via his ex-wife I found on facebook. It was then I really really tried to find a way out. It was difficult because he kept moving me around the US to different places in several states.
So the last place he forced me to move to was Missouri. Enter the 3000 square foot home that he made me cosign for. I hated it. I had to keep it spotless which also meant running after AP constantly picking up around him and cleaning. I was also working part time, and doing college full time. The problems got worse at this point as this is about the time I found him online with the 16 year old minor. This is when it really dawned on me he was grooming someone else. He also would force me to talk to his then current girlfriend whenever she called at the time too. All this was adding up and since we were finally in a big city, I knew I could find a way to leave since there were resources out there.
AP decided he was going to go on a trip with a friend out of state so that's when I planned to leave. I planned ahead, let the shelter know the situation, when to expect me, and if I didn't show to call the police after 24-48 hours of no show. I hid copies of my social security card and birth certificate too. AP figured out something was up and ended up not going. I was a day late in getting to the shelter but I made it. It was a violent fight that night and I ended up leaving injured with nothing but the clothes on me, my hat, jacket and some cigarettes. Oh and my hidden identification copies.
The Nuclear Revenge:
Part 1) Once I got to the shelter I used one day to decompress. Then the revenge plan started. All the utilities, including the cell service was in my name. Yep, I called and canceled them all. The utility companies are required to give a 7 day disconnect notice to the occupant to allow them time to get utilities in their name. So I knew AP would have problems with this because AP had shit credit and hence the reason why everything was in my name. The cell service was immediate however, which meant AP no longer had a phone to use for work. The cable company, I also put a password on the pay per view so he couldn't rack it up with porn. I did call my bank and let them know but was unaware at the time that he could still cash a check, which he did do and forged my name (more on that later).
So after I got everything cancelled I knew it was time to find a place and start over and finish getting my revenge, and life back. Luckily I had a friend (later husband, we'll call him H) in Ohio who offered me a place to stay. I used my last paycheck to grab a bus ticket and hightailed it out of there.
Part 2) Once I arrived in Ohio and settled in I started taking stock of my options. H is a retired law enforcement/military/doctor/martial arts practitioner (so much there that he's done, but it comes in handy later too in more ways than one). He helped me to figure out my options, let me know our local laws and helped me in finding the right type of attorney to help me. He also helped me in documenting everything that AP decided to do once he figured out where I had gone. And AP did try. AP even sent someone to our home to threaten to kill us, AP tirelessly stalked, sent threatening emails etc.
Part 3) With documentation in hand and a 15 page typed statement, I called up a local Missouri attorney (we'll call him A1) who ended up being amazing and he helped me take care of all the filings I needed to do. AP and I were together barely shy of 10 years and Missouri is a common law state. I had to go through a legal separation to sever everything we had in Missouri. A1 ended up getting me an excellent judgement against him as well as a warrant for his arrest for that county. The documentation of his erratic, threatening behaviors still continued.
Part 4) AP was so scared that he ran away!! He ran back to California and ended up getting married. Enter my attorneys A2, A3 and AP's 2 Attorneys. A2 on my end ended up a flop so I hired A3. AP's first attorney I had taken off the case since he had represented both of us during the house purchase (he really thought I was that stupid to allow that to go under the radar). Due to the judgement amount I ended up hiring an attorney who dealt with judgements 40K and above, normally for businesses. My judgement wasn't much below that amount so he took my case. The amount was also coincidentally very close to the amount he still had left from his inheritance. ;) I asked A1 to ask for that amount since it was all he had left of his inheritance. He filed a Sister State Judgement so that the interest and judgement were moved to California for me. A3 got AP's second attorney to drop him since they were colleagues at one point. AP no longer had any legal representation and tried to represent himself from this point on. And boy did AP make a fool of himself trying to represent himself.
Part 5) Enter my private investigator, later on turned friend, that A1 recommended (PI for short). He ENJOYED that chase because of the situation behind it. PI HATES abusers like him. PI found him in California and we ended up finding all AP's personal address information etc because he was arrested for domestic violence on HIS PREGNANT WIFE. We were able to serve him during his court hearing on his wife's case via a bailiff . Oh to have been a fly on the wall!! Remember above I said that I had found out AP had forged my signature and cashed a check on my bank account? Yeah, I also had all the proof from that and had him out and out on check fraud and forgery as an ace in the hole if I ever needed it, which A3 was also provided as well.
The Last Act) With all my proof in hand, AP also knew I had him on check fraud and forgery should the need arise, the judgments and the warrants (a second warrant was about to be issued in California on him as well from me and A3) he finally offered to settle. In the end I still got the same amount of my judgement plus court costs. He never realized that that was what I was aiming for. He always said if I ever took his money and left him he would find me and kill/shoot me. I still got his money and he never did shoot/kill me. It took 5 years but damn if I wasn't going to fight tooth and nail to nail this bastard for what he put me through. It was amazing being able to nail him with some sweet nuclear revenge for 10 years of abuse. Between myself, H, and A3, he was so scared that he wouldn't even go into A3's office to hand over the payment for the settlement. He made someone else do it! H and I took "his" money, renovated our home, bought H a pickup truck, me a replacement Honda Pilot since AP stole mine before, some other miscellaneous things that AP would have hated and finally got my Korean Sky Dragon tattoo sleeve done. The Sky Dragon was something he always wanted done for him but was too chicken shit to handle the pain. We made great use of that money. Photo included of the tattoo sleeve if you're interested in seeing it.
📷
For a 6', blond haired 400 pound man (he became obsessed with food during the course of our relationship and added 200 lbs) he ended up being a whimpering, terrified cry baby. Not bad for an abuse survivor who put up with 10 years of abuse. Oh and H and I have been together now for 9 years, married for 6.5 of them.
Submitted May 24, 2019 at 10:29PM by Anonymous-Survivor http://bit.ly/2wi0LLg
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