I'm lonely. I admit it. No sugarcoating.
I envy my best friend because she has a boyfriend, actually has the balls to ask out her crush, and goes out and has fun! Not me! I couldn't even ask my crush because I'm socially awkward.
My mom has tried to bribe me with new backpacks and stuff, just to join a club and has repeatedly told me that she's going to involve me into the community. Such as Special needs Olympics, art classes...just to make friends, but she's never actually gone through with doing it.
She just doesn't understand what goes on in a person's mind who has social anxiety.
No one at school really talks to me unless it's a compliment about my nails or hair. No guys or girls come up to me and talk...maybe it's because I'm quiet and I don't smile and am always face deep in my phone.
No one really asks me if I'm okay unless I post something sad or depressing my Instagram or Snapchat stories.
People don't know how much pain I'm in because I don't let that part of myself peek out into the light. Now..I don't want to kill myself even though I do think about different ways to.
Sometimes I become blinded with an anger and think that my friends know that I'm alone and sad, but don't bother acknowledging it. I know it's not true, but no one wants to deal with someone who is depressed because they don't know how to help them. Especially when the person who is depressed constantly refuses to accept the help.
Does loneliness make you lash out because you don't know how to deal with it?
Submitted March 31, 2019 at 08:46AM by thefinalprophecy https://ift.tt/2YGwlPM
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