350 facts about Shaggy

• Some kids piss their name in the snow. Shaggy can piss his name into concrete.
• Shaggy once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
• Shaggy counted to infinity - twice.
• Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Shaggy can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
• Shaggy' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
• Shaggy' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Shaggy.
• Shaggy does not sleep. He waits.
• Shaggy can speak braille.
• Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Shaggy' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
• Shaggy puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
• If you spell Shaggy wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Shaggy?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
• On a high school math test, Shaggy put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Shaggy solves all his problems with Violence.
• Shaggy owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
• Shaggy can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
• Shaggy once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
• Shaggy can delete the Recycling Bin.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Shaggy.
• Once a cobra bit Shaggy' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
• Shaggy was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
• Shaggy died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
• Shaggy does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Shaggy goes killing.
• Shaggy can slam revolving doors.
• If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Shaggy says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
• Shaggy can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time.
• Superman owns a pair of Shaggy pajamas.
• Giraffes were created when Shaggy uppercutted a horse.
• Shaggy doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• Shaggy sleeps with a night light. Not because Shaggy is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Shaggy
• Shaggy secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
• When Shaggy gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
• Shaggy' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Shaggy will not take shit from anyone.
• Shaggy sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Shaggy roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
• If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Shaggy banging your sister.
• Shaggy can kill two stones with one bird
• Shaggy doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel..
• Shaggy is always on top during sex because Shaggy never fucks up.
• Shaggy was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
• Shaggy is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
• Shaggy eats the core of an apple first.
• Shaggy doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
• Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Shaggy' PC will crash.
• Ghosts are actually caused by Shaggy killing people faster than Death can process them.
• Death once had a near-Shaggy-Shaggy experience.
• The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Shaggy didn't kill you in your sleep.
• Shaggy never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
• Shaggy' house does not have security guards. Rather, he employs a single man in uniform to lead burglars to his bedroom, where they are never heard from again.
• Shaggy was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Shaggy does not "attempt" murder.
• Shaggy can strangle you with a cordless phone.
• The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Shaggy.
• Shaggy has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
• Shaggy can build a snowman out of rain.
• Shaggy plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
• M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Shaggy can touch this.
• Shaggy once punched a man in the soul.
• Shaggy is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Shaggy
• Shaggy likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
• Shaggy is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Jeep.
• When Shaggy enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
• Shaggy can play the violin with a piano
• Mr. T once defeated Shaggy in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Shaggy invented racism.
• It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Shaggy can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
• Shaggy once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
• Shaggy can drown a fish.
• When Shaggy looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Shaggy and Shaggy.
• People think Billy Joel is an alcoholic and wrecks lots of cars. In reality, Shaggy keeps kicking Billy's ass because Shaggy is the Piano Man and he started the fire.
• Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Shaggy' roundhouse kick.
• The only time Shaggy was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
• Shaggy doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.
• Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Shaggy.
• A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Shaggy and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
• A rogue squirrel once challenged Shaggy to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Shaggy simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Shaggy knows you can't find bigger, better nuts than that.
• Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Shaggy can throw Brett Favre even further.
• When God said, "Let there be light", Shaggy said, "say please."
• The chief export of Shaggy is pain.
• Shaggy doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
• Shaggy can make a paraplegic run for his life.
• The last digit of pi is Shaggy. He is the end of all things.
• Shaggy once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.
• Shaggy can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Shaggy is.
• Shaggy is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
• Shaggy can tie his shoes with his feet.
• The quickest way to a man's heart is with Shaggy's fist.
• Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Shaggy to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Shaggy now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.
• The phrase, "You are what you eat" cannot be true based on the amount of pussy Shaggy eats.
• Shaggy was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."
• If you can see Shaggy, he can see you. If you can't see Shaggy you may be only seconds away from death.
• Shaggy doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
• Shaggy does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
• Shaggy once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.
• Shaggy is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
• Shaggy is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Shaggy claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.
• The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Shaggy is.
• Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Shaggy during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
• Shaggy used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
• Bullets dodge Shaggy.
• Shaggy cannot predict the future; the future just better fucking do what Shaggy says.
• Someone once tried to tell Shaggy that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
• Before Shaggy was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.
• Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Shaggy donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Shaggy's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Shaggy still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.
• We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Shaggy doesn't believe in magic.
• Shaggy can touch Mc Hammer.
• Shaggy uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.
• Shaggy can get Blackjack with just one card.
• "One time I was with Shaggy in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Shaggy goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Shaggy! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'ShaggyShaggy' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"
• People created the automobile to escape from Shaggy...Not to be outdone, Shaggy created the automobile accident.
• Shaggy roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later.
• When Shaggy was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Shaggy.
• Shaggy can sneeze with his eyes open.
• Archeologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. It�s actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the others. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. The archeologists wanted to call it ShaggyShaggyaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because it�s simply not possible for Mr. Shaggy to be killed.
• Shaggy got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Shaggy for every answer.
• Shaggy has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
• Shaggy successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face.
• Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Shaggyaurus.
• People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Shaggy
• Shaggy wears Orion's Belt around his pinky toe and he eats with the Big Dipper.
• Shaggy eats lightning and farts thunder.
• Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Shaggy is looking for it.
• Shaggy was once a knight in King Arthur's court. He was known as Sir Beatdown.
• Shaggy once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated. Shaggy once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated.
• In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly because they knew Shaggy was coming.
• Shaggy has never looked a baby in the eyes cause it might him cry but if he does it also makes him want to punch a baby.
• Shaggy doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Shaggy
• Shaggy does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
• Before sliced bread, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Shaggy". But Shaggy was displeased by this. So he roundhouse kicked a loaf of bread into slices.
• Shaggy's sweat has burned holes in concrete.
• The wind of Shaggy�s round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away
• Shaggy has held the World Championship in every weight class at the same time.
• There is no Control button on Shaggy' computer. Shaggy is always in control.
• Shaggy is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, Shaggy is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox.
• There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Shaggy.
• Earth's emergency defence plan in case of alien invasion is Shaggy.
• Shaggy stared evil in the face, and it backed down
• Shaggy can split the atom. With his bare hands.
• On the SAT if you put Shaggy for every answer you will score over 8000
• The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Shaggy
• When Shaggy spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame
• Shaggy doesnt use after shave, he uses liquid hot magma.
• When Shaggy found this web-site while surfing the internt, he round house kicked his computer...10 new facts were added instantly.including this one
• You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you�re Shaggy
• No matter what your mother always said, Shaggy can tune a fish.
• Shaggy is '' The best a man can get ''
• On Valentine's Day, Shaggy gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, Shaggy believes every day should be Valentine's Day.
• Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Shaggy shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas".
• Shaggy let the dogs out.
• Shaggy visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".
• Shaggy eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow.
• Shaggy does know what Willis is talking about!
• Shaggy don't open no can of whoopass. He makes his own.
• Shaggy could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.
• Shaggy's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius.
• The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Shaggy.
• The active ingredient in Red Bull is Shaggy's sweat.
• The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Shaggy' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard.
• When Shaggy goes to Vegas, he doesn't have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money.
• In an emergency, Shaggy can be used as a floatation device.
• When Shaggy is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.
• The speed of light was instituted because Shaggy didn't want get winded outrunning it. Shaggy hates to sweat.
• Shaggy once bench-pressed the entire state of Ohio, and all of its residents.
• Shaggy can hold his breathe for nine years.
• When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg," Shaggy is never the rotten egg.
• Shaggy invented the question mark.
• Shaggy trick-or-treated as himself as a child.
• Shaggy has 3 knees on each leg.
• Shaggy likes long walks on the beach, Barry White music, Harlequin romance novels, songbirds, rainbows, and quiet time with his lady�just before he roundhouse kicks her in the face.
• Shaggy can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
• If you gave Shaggy a typewriter and 0.000000000000000000001th of a second he can write the Complete Works of Shakespeare
• Shaggy puts the laughter in manslaughter.
• Shaggy' beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China.
• The helicopter was invented after Shaggy was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.
• Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Shaggy. Not to be outdone, Shaggy invented the car accident.
• Shaggy brushes his teeth with barbed wire.
• Shaggy can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.
• Shaggy make onions CRY!!!
• Some people say that Shaggy is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.
• When Shaggy sneeze, he don't say "Atchoo" he says "DIE EVERYONE!!!". That's what happens next.
• Shaggy eats a bowl of diamonds every morning.
• Shaggy is not only a noun, but a verb
• Shaggy doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Shaggy kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants.
• Shaggy knows the last digit of pi.
• Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
• The air around Shaggy is always a balmy 78 degrees.
• When Shaggy wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
• Shaggy plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
• According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Shaggy created God by snapping his fingers.
• Shaggy doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.
• Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Shaggy to kill you...Fourty seven times.
• The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Shaggy and three seven year old girls. Shaggy won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.
• Shaggy is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
• Mr. T pities the fool. Shaggy rips the fool's head off.
• Shaggy had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
• Shaggy has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
• They were going to release a Shaggy edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Shaggy. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
• Shaggy is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
• A man once taunted Shaggy with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Shaggy proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
• Shaggy' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.
• In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Shaggy was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
• Shaggy has never been accused of murder for the simple fact that his roundhouse kicks are recognized world-wide as "acts of God."
• "Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Shaggy calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
• Shaggy does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Shaggy.
• Shaggy once had sex with a cigarette machine in the Osaka airport.
• Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Shaggy fight.
• Shaggy is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
• In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Shaggy, because Shaggy killed that man.
• Shaggy wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
• When you play Monopoly with Shaggy, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
• Shaggy describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".
• Shaggy once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Shaggy ripped both of his arms off and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him instantly, and proceeded to sow his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire.
• Shaggy likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
• Shaggy can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
• Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Shaggy does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
• Shaggy did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
• Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Shaggy touches turns up dead.
• Shaggy' pulse is measured on the richter scale.
• Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Shaggy."
• Shaggy once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels.
• For every movie about Vietnam starring Shaggy, the historical duration of the war decreases. Just 3 more "Missing in Action" sequels, and that war will have never actually existed.
• Shaggy' penis has a Hemi.
• Shaggy enjoys a good practical joke. His favorite is where he removes your lower intestine and pretends to make a balloon animal out of it. Then he cracks your skull open with a Volvo for not complimenting him on his balloon animal.
• Shaggy CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And he can do it with one hand.
• Kenny G is allowed to live because Shaggy doesn't kill women.
• Life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates. It is more like a box of Shaggy, roundhouse kicking you in the face. And if you receive a box of Shaggy, you ALWAYS know what you are going to get.
• For Shaggy, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
• There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Shaggy.
• During the Vietnam War, Shaggy allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.
• Shaggy once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
• Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Shaggy heads outside and brands his cattle.
• Shaggy actually built the stairway to heaven.
• Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Shaggy's kindergarten class.
• Shaggy once skewered a man with the Eiffel tower.
• The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Shaggy didn't kill you in your sleep.
• Shaggy doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can.
• Occam's Razor says that the simplest answer tends to be the correct one. Shaggy' Razor involves a flick of the wrist and a Columbian Necktie.
• Shaggy needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.
• Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Shaggy, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.
• Shaggy invented all 32 letters of the alphabet.
• Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Shaggy wanted his nickname back.
• If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Shaggy hears it. Shaggy can hear everything. Shaggy can hear the shrieking terror in your soul.
• Shaggy actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover.
• He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Shaggy � dies.
• Shaggy is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.
• Shaggy can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.
• Shaggy neither melts in your mouth nor in your hand. He shreds your trachea before ravaging your soul with a combination of chocolate, whickey, roundhouse kicks and death. Oh, and pain. Lots of pain.
• Shaggy doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma.
• It is said that every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Every time God masturbates, Shaggy kills a lion.
• The word 'Kill' was invented by Shaggy. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
• Shaggy is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.
• The 11th commandment is �Thou shalt not piss off Shaggy� This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
• Shaggy is his own line at the DMV.
• Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Shaggy. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.
• Who let the dogs out? Shaggy let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.
• Shaggy can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
• When Shaggy goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
• Shaggy sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Shaggy roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
• Shaggy has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
• If Shaggy wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
• Not everyone that Shaggy is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
• Shaggy has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
• A movie scene depicting Shaggy losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
• Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Shaggy' first visit to Tokyo.
• They once made a Shaggy toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
• Shaggy once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
• "Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Shaggy gets too hot.
• Shaggy' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
• After taking a steroids test doctors informed Shaggy that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
• Shaggy doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
• When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Shaggy for help.
• There are no such things as tornados. Shaggy just hates trailer parks.
• Shaggy' Penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.
• Shaggy does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Shaggy.
• The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Shaggy's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.
• Shaggy� roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
• Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Shaggy fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
• Shaggy once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
• The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Shaggy needed a back scratcher.
• Shaggy was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
• Shaggy once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
• Shaggy once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
• For Spring Break '05, Shaggy drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
• The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Shaggy Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
• Shaggy has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
• Divide Shaggy by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.
• TNT was originally developed by Shaggy to cure indigestion.
• After returning from World War 2 unscathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Shaggy with a handshake. The rest is history.
• Shaggy runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.
• "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Shaggy' theme song.
• Shaggy will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
• Only Shaggy can prevent forest fires.
• When Shaggy makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
• Shaggy is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
• In the movie "The Matrix", Shaggy is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
• Shaggy' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.
• They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Shaggy killed the cat. Every single one of them.
• There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Shaggy.
• Shaggy crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
• When Shaggy was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
• One time, at band camp, Shaggy ate a percussionist.
• Shaggy doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
• Shaggy originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
• Love does not hurt. Shaggy does.
• The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Shaggy, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a glacier of fecal matter.
• Shaggy once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
• The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Shaggy.
• Noah was the only man notified before Shaggy relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
• Shaggy once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.
• MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Shaggy roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
• Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Shaggy thrives on pain. Shaggy then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
• Shaggy eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
• The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Shaggy.
• Shaggy doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
• Fact: Shaggy doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
• It is said that looking into Shaggy' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
• Shaggy knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
• Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Shaggy with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Shaggy cannot be in two places at the same time.
• Shaggy never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
• When you say "no one's perfect", Shaggy takes this as a personal insult.
• Shaggy can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
• 182,000 Americans die from Shaggy-related accidents every year.
• Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Shaggy beats all 3 at the same time.
• Jesus can walk on water, but Shaggy can walk on Jesus.
• All roads lead to Shaggy. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.
• If you're driving down the road and you think Shaggy just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.
• July 4th is Independence day. And the day Shaggy was born. Coincidence? i think not.
• Shaggy never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
• In the medical community, death is referred to as "Shaggy Disease"
• Shaggy was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
• If you work in an office with Shaggy, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
• In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Shaggy". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Shaggy.
• The First rule of Shaggy is: you do not talk about Shaggy.
• Shaggy is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Shaggy isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
• When Shaggy plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
• Shaggy can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Shaggy is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.
• Shaggy drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
• Every time someone uses the word "intense", Shaggy always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
• As an infant, Shaggy' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
• Shaggy once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
• Most people fear the Reaper. Shaggy considers him "a promising Rookie".
• There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Shaggy.
• President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Shaggy carried his the same distance in half the time.
• Shaggy once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
• What many people dont know is Shaggy is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.
• Shaggy was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
• Shaggy qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
• Shaggy likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
• Shaggy uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.
• The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Shaggy' initials. This is not a coincidence.
• Shaggy' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.
• Think of a hot woman. Shaggy did her.
• A man once claimed Shaggy kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
• Shaggy sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
• Shaggy owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
• Shaggy doesn't chew gum. Shaggy chews tin foil.

Submitted March 25, 2019 at 08:00PM by koopinator2 https://ift.tt/2U319Mk