Just to start off I would like to say I did go to the police and there is an open case, he fled the country beforehand though, so who knows how long the process will take.
I used to have more of these dreams when I was younger and then they stopped then started again when the whole family found out this happened to me and then stopped and now they are back.
The dreams are all different. In all of them I’m my current age. In one I was tied up in some tool shed with wires and he was using a nail gun. In another he’s molesting me again. In the one I had last night he used a truck to kidnap my younger brothers and the police found them the next day dead but couldn’t find him.
They’re so vivid and some are almost lucid in the sense I’m willing myself to wake up but can’t and also can’t alter my environment. I’ve only had one true lucid dream where I have full control. I’m very used to having nightmares almost every night and very used to knowing in the moment that I’m in a nightmare. It feels so real, the pain, the fear, just everything. But I’m always trapped and can’t wake up until I get caught by whatever evil is seeking me out or until I die.
I feel there’s some innate fear that if he ever comes back he’ll do so in a way that border police won’t catch him and he’ll come looking for revenge. I really want to start some form of martial arts. Something that I can channel my deep seated anger and restlessness and worry into. Something that physically kicks my ass so I know I’m still here.
Submitted January 08, 2019 at 09:08PM by myneedtobreathe http://bit.ly/2TE8XPU
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