Ok. So what convinced me to make an alt account and come here are these dreams I keep having and more.
My dreams- Almost every night I dream that I'm walking up a hill in an evergreen forest. Sometimes that's all. Most of the times though, I'm trying to find "freedom" and find a big black male wolf that I can either decide to follow or run from. In some dreams I follow him, in others I turn back. When I follow him I turn into wolf myself, light grey or smaller and black. And the dream always ends there.
Another recurring dream I have is that I'm running long distances and feel very alive. When I have that dream I wake up feeling energetic and happy for the rest of the day.
My connection to wolves- Wolves have been favorite animal for as long as I can remember. I have wolf shirts, a wolf background on my phone, a wolf bag where I store my art supplies. I like watching wolf documentaries. Before I knew about furries or otherkin I tried to subtly make myself look more wolflike. My makeup brought out my eye-shape (which looks animalistic to begin with) I like wearing my hair tasseled and I shaped my nails like claws. Then I wanted to wear wolf spirit hoods, ears or tails. Which I have not bought because of lack of money.
My behavior- My favorite part of a meal is the meat.
My natural sleep rythm is nocturnal. I naturally get sleepy before the sun comes up around six and wake up in the afternoon. I feel quick-minded and alive at night. It's so bad that I had to go to the doctor to try and get more "normal" sleep cycle but if I don't take my medication it reverts back to nocturnal.
I only get hungry at night
I don't like it when people sit to close to me while I eat. It makes me nervous and irritated.
I get a thrill out of running or chasing after someone.
I love to catch small animals and let them go later. When I was younger I would spend hours "hunting" a small animal and letting it go. I still like to catch lizards and snakes and such.
Blood doesn't scare me.
I feel like I psychologically identify with the wolf. I'm an atheist which means I don't believe in spirits or reincarnation but I approach life much like a wolf. I am loving and caring towards my friends but aggressive if need be. I've been in situations where I had to defend myself in a fight and I did so fiercely. I treat people like they treat me and mostly try to be on good terms with everyone.
I have anger problems against myself and get angry easily, so I channel it through excercise and art.
Ever since I could pick my own clothes I wore all black. Because I like how it looks and it makes me feel comfortable.
At first I was attracted to the furry fandom, but I found that I don't really like anthros or anything. I also like more realistic looking animals instead of the colors/details that appear in a lot of furry art or costumes.
The only anthro I am a fan of is my oc, "Maul”. A black wolf with brown eyes that walks on all fours and behaves like a normal wolf most of the time but can stand on her hind legs and can transform into a zombie/lich/spirit/demon.
So do I sound like I might be a therian or otherkin? Sorry for the long post but I wanted to pour my heart out here.
Submitted January 08, 2019 at 09:13PM by am_I_therian http://bit.ly/2CXPqVa
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