First i want to say that i am not an amateur artist, i am actually a professional with a bachelors degree in art, which is why it is incredibly embarrassing to have to ask a question like this, but i honestly think i might have a visual disability. Over the past 2 years it has been become incredibly frustrating that the quality of my art has actually deteriorated, practicing does not help, absorbing more theory does not help, and focusing even harder just makes it worse. And it has become clear to me that the path i have taken in digital art, particularly my techniques 3d art or matte painting, have all been particularly suited to help me get around this one crippling disability i have never been able to overcome--I cannot make proper proportions.
I have been attempting to brute force my way into overcoming this ailment because i know that should i be able to perfect my proportions, the rest of my art will become leagues better, because i actually have a leg up on many other artists in terms of pure theory and understanding of construction. However, to me, it is like knowing how to build a house, but constantly putting the nails in the wrong place every time i try to nail a board down.
Yes, i know the ideal 6 head technique thing that every amateur tries at first. Yes, i've taken anatomy and proportion classes. I've tried the loomis head, the stick figure thing, i've tried starting each sphere for the rib cage and pelvis as a block within perspective lines. I can't even fucking trace correctly. I've been grinding out 30 minute sessions every day on quickposes where somehow my gestures get worse and worse, and my proportion blindness is even worse on foreshortening.
It is not that i don't understand the principles or know how to construct things. And my mind can see when something looks wrong, and even assess HOW it is wrong, i.e. one side of the face should be twice as large as the other side to compensate for the tilt in perspective, the curve of the mouth arcs downward by 5 degrees--my eyes are not the things that lack precision. It is my hand eye coordination that is absolutely fucking retarded. And it doesn't improve with practice. The more i try to exercise this skill, i just get a headache and it gets worse. And when i try to draw construction lines to help aid my proportions in the right direction, the construction lines end up misproportioned.
I don't know what to do or if there is a name for this, or if it is something similar to prosopagnosia. Its also not pure aphantasia, because i CAN visualize things in my minds eye, but when i try to focus on the proportions of those things that i am visualizing they distort and get blurry and i do get the same kind of headache as when i try to draw them.
I really just want to overcome this... There are armless artists that fucking draw with their feet! I should be able to do simple proportions. And if i can't... I don't know, i'm seriously thinking about giving up on art altogether.
Submitted January 23, 2019 at 01:32PM by nihilistwriter http://bit.ly/2S0lj7Q
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