No one ever expects the girl with "sunshine" and "encouragement" flowing out of her to be dealing with such terrible feelings.
No one expects her to be the one who drinks just to escape the loud hum of her thoughts in her head.
No one expects her to be the one who would sit on her couch, completely numb. Clenching her nails into the palm of her hand just to feel something.
No one expects her to be the one who wakes every morning dreading the day to come.
She wouldn't expect herself to be this way either. She would have thought that she would have found the key to joy and have learned how to hold onto it but instead, every time she finds it, it slips right through her fingertips once again. She knows the secret but turn to this unsatisfying world for fulfillment.
Maybe music could fill her? Beautiful art? Maybe the right cup of tea? Surely the plants in her room could bring her something more than just oxygen? Bring her purpose, happiness; hell - maybe just contentment? Quotes on the walls? Another drink? Watching reruns of 80s movies?
None of it helps. Would anyone expect it to?
How could she get better? The key falls into her hands for a glimmer of a moment, and falls right through again.
Submitted October 30, 2018 at 08:09PM by huskerred07 https://ift.tt/2yCss3d
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