My thumb fumbles on the wheel of the lighter, nearly scratching my already painted nail. I'm already dreading going to war on them with nail polish remover. It's always a pain in the ass, but more than that it's just sad to see it all go away.
I never used to smoke, or really do anything illegal. Well, other than piracy and jaywalking. But I need to cool my nerves and just half a joint would do the trick. I've been doing this for almost half a year now, but the anxiety still kicks me in the stomach every time. A dozen thoughts, all starting with "What if..." swim around in my head. The first puff comes out with a sigh. After a few minutes I stop shaking. I stub out the roll on the balcony railing as soon as I'm steady. Time to get to work.
Step 1 is always brushing my teeth. Something about the actual smell of weed on my breath takes me out of the fantasy, even if it's the only thing keeping me in the game. And then of course there's the showering, the shaving, the waxing. I have to be clean and smooth. I have to be pure.
With my pale skin still radiant in post-shower glow, it's time to pick out an outfit. This is by far my favorite part. Even with inhibitions properly sedated it still makes me shake. I feel weak, running my fingers over the frilly outline of the panties. My panties. The thought of them sliding up my legs makes me shiver before I can even get them around my ankles. I unravel my towel, previously wrapped just above my chest. It's the little things that really make you feel feminine.
With a satisfying smack of elastic against my ass, I finish getting my panties on. Every time it's more satisfying than I imagined. They gave me a mixed feeling of helplessness and empowerment. I walk back over to the mirror. I run my hands over my hairless chest, before squeezing and pushing my breasts out. If only I had a proper pair of boobs for everyone on the internet. A bra and some carefully planned angles would have to do.
I slip into a bralette and model in front of the mirror. I decide it will do. Maybe some stockings? I could try the new fishnets I just got in a discrete package or I could go with the classic, the tried and true. I decide on the classic. They can get a taste of the fishnets sometime this weekend. The finishing touch is a necklace, a thin spindle of gold dangling from around my neck and gathering toward the center to cascade down just over my chest. I wish I had something a little more extravagant honestly. Or something a little more kinky for that matter. Maybe a collar, or a bell. These things will take time.
The next part is mostly just for me: makeup. I apply a layer of lipstick. I think the container described the tone as "old rose." Eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow are next on the to-do list. The eye shadow is just a modest touch of soft violet. The eyeliner comes on easily enough. I've been practicing for a while now. I'm a sucker for wings, so they make an appearance most of the time. Now is no exception. I mime a kiss into the mirror and wink.
It's a shame no one on reddit gets to see this. My face is always just out of shot, even while the post titles always invite people to ravish my body. Sometimes I wonder if I could make some money if I just showed my face. Then maybe I wouldn't have to be stuck managing TA hell next semester. Hell, maybe I could even move to a nicer apartment, put some more art up on the walls. The thought of someone I know seeing puts the fantasy off from the front of my mind, but it still lingers in the periphery. No one knows about this. No one could.
I go to my bedroom and unpack my camera, already thinking up provocative poses. I spend the photo shoot with my legs spread and my back sprawled over the best. I take a few more of my ass, just for good measure.
The final step: the posting spree. A post for /r/traps, a post for /r/gonemildCD, and a smattering of other subs. In between constantly refreshing to see how my posts have climbed, I check my messages. One from a guy who I hadn't spoken to in months. I met him on FetLife and he knew about my reddit account. That reminds me that I need to post my photos there. He was from the same city, and we got together once. I sucked his cock. He came in my mouth. It was still in my early stages and I hated how much I liked it. I stopped messaging him right after it happened. I wonder how far I would have let things go if I didn't cut things off right there. Still, it's online only for now. I have a few other exchanges with admirers running. I give them just enough to be teased with. Some ask for more. Some ask for my face.
After some time passes, I look over the comments to my posts. A couple dozen upvotes spread out here and there. I smile from even the small amount of attention I'm getting. My small girlcock gets hard reading all the promises and desires in the comments.
I have a fantasy of being a frequent poster in /r/traps and similar subreddits, enough that I have a small fan base. But, my character never shows his/her face or does anything in person. So he tells himself. I want to do a roleplay where you're a fan and you just slowly keep pushing back the line until I'm proudly sucking cock for my online audience.
Submitted November 11, 2019 at 07:07PM by FuckBunny123 https://ift.tt/2ND5tNb
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