It’s always the dumb things that ruin campaigns

So I’ve told stories about this group before but this is the story of how something so absurdly ridiculous ended the campaign.

So I was dming for 9 brand new players. None of them knew the rules so I had to teach them all about races and classes. I tried to help them towards easier classes to understand but they all really wanted to cast spells so I just let them jump right in to warlock, wizard, etc.

Next was races. This went easy at first, lots of elves and tieflings. But then there was the warlock. I truly have no idea what possessed her to do this but she wanted to be a cow, I looked up some Minotaur race stats and she refused she wanted to be a real cow. Ok fine You’re a cow. I sent them home to figure out some character backstory and meet the next week.

I was so proud how quickly they all took to it. The tieflings had a sibling rivalry, the casters were both smug and smarmy. And then there was the cow. She actually had my favorite. She was indeed a real milking cow from a farm, she grew to hate her life on the farm so much that an arch devil offered her a pact if she killed her master. So she gained the ability to talk and walk on two feet. I loved that chaotic evil bovine.

The campaign goes pretty smoothly until session 3 when the cow decides pick something up from a dead enemy. Our paladin points out she can’t do that she has hooves not hands. This was the beginning of the end. I tried to brush it away by saying she can pick things up just to make the game fair for her. The cleric chimes in asking if she has finger that end in hooves like finger nails, the wizard laughs and say that’s ridiculous (because a talking cow wasn’t already ridiculous) and that she would just have opposable hooves like a crab claw.

That was when the room split down the middle. Half wanted the fingers the other the claw hooves. I finally silenced the argument and we got back to the game.

We were able to play for a good long time almost a year I think having weekly sessions. But that question kept getting brought up. The rogue was a great artist In real life so she liked to draw the party and cool action scenes they did. She was on team fingers though so that’s how all the art was.

By the end of the summer that year we couldn’t meet for a session with out screaming and arguing about those damn cow hands. Eventually most of the party got sick of coming and we slowly whittled down the group to just the rogue, cleric, warlock and sorcerer. I wasn’t opposed to keeping it going after that but the party told me it just wasn’t that fun anymore so we stopped that campaign for good.

So what team are you guys on hoove fingers or hoove claws?

Submitted November 11, 2019 at 08:39AM by Noahthehoneyboy https://ift.tt/2CKqr6R