Hi all,
My SO is a really great artist/creative type however has struggled like many artists in finding what it is exactly that they can do to ‘make it’. She has only worked several jobs in her lifetime, all of them entry-level restaurant types, and naturally they weren’t great jobs. I think these experiences have made her have a sour taste towards ‘working for someone’ and thus she takes a lot of pride in wanting to work for herself.
The problem is that she really isn’t great with numbers or planning, she hasn’t completed any post-secondary. She creates some really wonderful oil paintings and silver jewelry but hasn’t nailed down the financial end (ie. If I sell this at this price, I make this amount - or I need to sell x amount of these in order to survive). I think she struggles with setting goals because if she doesn’t attain it she might feel like she failed - however without a goal in the first place she doesn’t have something to work towards.
She has lived with her father, and doesn’t pay any rent. Her dad also covers her phone bill, insurance, and has been super great at helping her out when she needs it (ie. her car broke down and he paid for repairs, etc).
I have a stable career, and have always been a frugal ‘saver’ making okay money, and making plans/thinking about the future quite a bit. I purchased my first home last year and naturally the next step would be for her to move in with me.
Her business does not make enough to support herself on her own - maybe $6000 per year before taxes, and then she also teaches yoga several times per week.
We have been discussing her moving in with me, and I have been concerned that she would be unable to support herself. When I have brought up the possibility of making a plan or looking at getting a job outside the business it has resulted in an argument - her feeling ‘overwhelmed’ and that I am not fully supporting her dream, and then a resolution that we’ll figure out something without anything really changing.
On one hand, I don’t want to intervene with her business - as it is hers - I do want to know that she can support herself. Also, I am very interested in planning for early-retirement myself (something we have chatted about) and if we were to be married, this is a goal I’d want to work towards with my spouse. But - the habits she has towards money (ie. pursuing her passion vs. making a livable wage) make me not sure how to feel about it.
The problem isn’t that she is lazy, it is that her art pursuit don’t make enough for her to support herself. If she did move in with me, she would be unable to pay for living costs. I have convinced her that she’d definitely need to work a job - however she has said just one or two days a week. The other issue is that she doesn’t want to work food-service, and without post-secondary education her options are limited.
Reddit - how do I have a conversation about this (like a reality check) without putting a wedge between us & her feeling like I am the one telling her to pivot away from her dream, what she wants to do?
All advice appreciated - thank you.
TLDR: My (M24) SO (F24) is pursuing her passion in art via creating/selling paintings/silver jewelry. She lives with her Dad & doesn’t pay many of her personal expenses. We have discussed her moving in with me, but her work doesn’t make anywhere close to enough for her to support herself & when we discuss this it feels like 1) I am not supporting her dream 2) We both don’t know what she should do instead.
Submitted November 04, 2019 at 12:36AM by canadianthrowaway987 https://ift.tt/33jnhTe
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