We barely got to take a breath after touching down in New York before Caroline dragged us back into the world of botched Matisse clones. This is the "final sale" that never ends. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Only crumpled craft paper and leg dongles. Somewhere in the distance a framed "Dreamer BB" sits obscured by a giant vase of flowers.
Caroline introduced us to some Big Bird cosplay as she flexed and contorted herself into some totally relatable “photo shoots” to mimic a certain 18-year-old she is obsessed with. She also made an insanely funny joke (it was just a joke!) about male models. If any happen to be reading her insta (it’s a joke!) and want to hit her up (Joke!) (Unless…)
Truly you guys, she is so genuine and candid and she never does staged photos! If it didn't happen to October Caroline, it never happened. Period.
Caroline went on the @mattdelia podcast (spraytankween truly did God's work by breaking down the podcast here). Without much interruption from the host she regurgitated many of her greatest hits including “going viral as a scam”, some peacocking about how she doesn’t do ads on her instagram and makes real Art instead. Taking credit for Natalie’s article going viral and other largely incoherent babblings that will make you feel like you are drifting in and out of consciousness if you listen for too long. Miss “instagram is ART, nobody takes me seriously for typing with my thumbs” would also like us to know that apparently Kayleigh Donaldson is not a journalist because she doesn’t write for any major publication - "she’s a twitter person”.
Another update from the frontlines of Caroline's dazzling Hollywood career (from the Matt D'Elia podcast): Her plan for the next 10 days is to take her book proposal and "strip it for parts", remove all the Natalie and spin it into something a movie producer will be forced to read with a straight face.
Commenting-spree superfan "lydiamark78" has been exposed as…we’re not sure really, It’s an ongoing mystery. Lydia-gate speculation continues in this thread.
We got woke for a few minutes about the American presidency while Caroline had some time to burn. But then her Pomeranian Enthusiasm got distracted by remembering she went to Philips Exeter. The best kind of content is the kind where she gets mad at randoms sending her messages. Send her regards to Polly!
Caroline's is VERY PROUD!!! that her instagram account is the perfect example of not caring what anyone thinks. Those LA cool girls she was lovebombing two days ago don't know anything and they're wrong. Why else would she beg for engagement on a post about her nails, claiming she is about to cry? Her animal nubbins don't give a fuck what you think! (but why don't you care?).
Also, do you have a podcast? Can Caroline be on it? No really. Can she? It doesn't matter what it's about, (we have an inexplicable True Crime podcast to look forward to). She is so good at talking about herself without stopping to breathe or remembering the original question. Podcast thirsting is the new fanart thirsting. LFG!
Submitted October 11, 2019 at 10:04AM by actualhumangirl https://ift.tt/2oxHBB0
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