Lady Bird is the most overrated movie in the past 3 years and does not deserve the praise it receives.

Title.

I finally got around to watching Lady Bird after hearing how incredible the movie is, seeing 99% from Rotten Tomatoes and 94% from Metacritic, and reading a lot of reviews stating how relatable and powerful Lady Bird's character is. I finally decided to mark it off my A24 list.

I expected Lady Bird to be a riveting coming-of-age film (one of the best films in general with those reviews), filled with laughs, growth and hardship.

Instead, I found myself watching a cliché, average day of a bratty middle-class white girl? I was bored, confused, and completely disinterested. Is this highbrow art that I don’t understand?

Discussion

Lady Bird - Christine

The entire movie revolves around Lady Bird. Lady Bird is a high school senior that is portrayed as a quirky, strong girl with a lot of struggles and hurdles to overcome. The issue is that these problems aren’t really problems:

Sharing a bathroom

Not having the best sex

Being attractive but not as attractive as she’d like

Thinking she might not get to go to her perfect college, which she ends up doing anyways

Her perfect college experience being not perfect

Arguing with her mom

Not being as rich as the richest kids in school

Wahh, poor Lady Bird. These aren’t struggles. These are one-line jokes that the movie tries to portray as struggles. This distances me from Lady Bird. Why would I care about some average girl living some average life?

But okay. Lets brush that aside and pretend I did care about that. That’s the movie I want to see. I want to see some average middle-class white girl do normal things.

Lady Bird is just a bitch

She treats her mom like shit, which the movie tries to disguise as a young girl just arguing with her mom.

She treats her best friend like shit, which the movie tries to disguise as a young girl just unsure of her friend group.

She treats her teachers like shit, which the movie tries to disguise as a young girl being quirky.

She treats her dad like shit, which the movie tries to disguise as a young girl embarrassed by her parents.

These two points combine to create the biggest failure of the movie, even though Lady Bird is a lazy bitch, she still succeeds!

She drops her best friend and her best friend comes back to her. She’s endlessly rude to her parents and of course they always love her. She literally tries to be hurtful to the nuns at her school and it fails because they laugh her off. She doesn’t apply herself in school and still manages to get into her dream school. She jumps out of a moving vehicle and only manages a broken wrist. She dyes her hair pink and seemingly doesn’t take care of herself, shown by her greasy look and chipped nail polish, but still gets the guys she pursues. And she forces people to call her a dumbass name like Lady Bird.

There are no consequences to her actions. Who the hell can relate to this? Lady Bird has more plot armor than Batman.

There’s even a scene at the end where Lady Bird gets alcohol poisoning and has to go to the ER. I think, finally, a scene where Lady Bird cannot escape this unscathed. A scene where the hospital bill will be expensive, or she might get arrested, or maybe she will have embarrassed herself to the point of no return or maybe, at least her clothes will be ruined? Fuck no. She walks out of the hospital no worse for wear. There are just no consequences to this bitch's actions.

There’s another scene where Lady Bird is trying on prom dresses and says, “I wish I looked like the girls in the magazines.” ……like what? Tall, skinny, and attractive? You do look like the “girls in the magazines.” Another failed attempt to create a relatable character.

Lastly, there’s a scene with Lady Bird at a party where she comments on someone not believing in God. Paraphrasing - “People call themselves the name their parents come up for them but don’t believe in God.” What is this supposed to even mean? How is a belief or disbelief in God the same as accepting your birth name? I think this is supposed to be a profound statement by Lady Bird, but it makes her seem like r/im14andthisisdeep.

In conclusion, Lady Bird is supposed to be a strong quirky teenager, tackling life her way – dealing with the trials and tribulations that all teenagers experience. Except…. she doesn’t. Lady Bird doesn’t really have many problems and she managers to skirt through life pretty easily.

TLDR Lady Bird is a bitch, has little consequences to her actions and manages to succeed anyway. No, I don’t relate to this character. She sucks.

Submitted October 21, 2019 at 09:57PM by TylertheDouche https://ift.tt/33OEUKk