Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Im upset at the sub and heres why

No. No one here has wronged me. Im upset that everyone is happy. Instead of attacking random peoples post im gonna explain myself. Irs not necessarily anger upset. Its more sad jealous upset.

Look at you all. You all have loving doms. Your lifes are ok (even if shes holding it toghther). Your all happy. You have cuddles and purpose and life. And im stuck here.

Everytime i come to this sub to see art my whole chest cavity just shrinked down. My chest gose cold and hurts. Thats what happens when im sad, depressed or upset. It hurts worse then a migraine. Worse then getting a nasty cut or having your ingrown toe nail ripped out and cleaned. Im jealous of you all.

So many happy faces and so many nice stories. I got none of those. I once did...but it was only for a few days. She vanished one day and never came back. I tried to message her and i got blocked. The last thing i said was "i miss you. Hope your safe". And now shes gone and its my fault and im upset.

I really...i really just need someone. I have a special someone but...i dont know if he actually likes me. I dont know if hes just doing it to make sure i dont blow my brains out (yes i see doctors and meds and gonna see a phyc soon. And yes i went to r/suicidewatch. I got downvoted. Hard. To negative. Yes i called for help on a suicide watch subreddit and got hated.

Look...im upset and i have nowhere to vent and no one to talk to at all. I love this subreddit but it hurts me. It hurts alot alot. I dont know what to do. I feel alone and sad and nothing works. Not even smashing demon heads in doom. Not even parrot parties in minecraft. Not checking out happy memes or videos. Its hard to feel happiness. Its so so hard (mental illness and other issues). It sucks. Im sorry im upset but im upset.



Submitted October 22, 2019 at 07:24PM by blubberfeet https://ift.tt/2W5HFEc

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