I’ve been on a dose of 450mg of pregabalin and 2mg of buprenorphine for roughly 2 months now, and just wanted to document the effects as these substances have improved my life drastically. I’m a 20 year old male by the way, living with my parents.
Since I was about 17/18, I suffered from very bad social and general anxiety, clinical depression that seemed to be resistant to antidepressants, severe bouts of insomnia and sometimes manic episodes, along with a number of panic attacks etc etc etc - you get it, I was a complete fucking mess - not only a mess but a drug addled mess who’s only escape and sense of comfort was dulling all the senses with weed, benzodiazepines, and opiates.
When I started college mid 2018 I couldn’t cope with the new space, the new people, the train and underground (subway lol) commute, and the workload, so this drove me ending up high as shit at my college on klonopin, Xanax, Valium, codeine/DHC most days I was there (it was either being intoxicated or very sleep deprived), and ending up overdosing on Xanax and codeine in the college building and subsequently being taken to a hospital via ambulance to have my stomach pumped and my parents sitting opposite me in disbelief and in a very bad state (I was very, very high on Xanax so my recollection of that day and the days following are very vague). I was kicked out of my illustration course and very luckily offered by the college to return in January next year, which I’m looking very forward to :)
After chronic misuse of substances ranging from psychedelics, amphetamins (very heavy usage), benzodiazepines, and opioids (easily my favourites), weed (which definitely was the trigger and proprietary ‘fuel’ of my anxiety), and ending up sniffing heroin as the last straw for me, I knew I needed to seek proper help and not refuse substance counselling at my boroughs opioid treatment clinic (I live in the South part of London). So I did, and was put on 2mg of bupe a day - no naloxone
I’d been on a doses of pregabalin ranging from 150mg a day gradually increased to 450mg a day a few months prior to this, prescribed by a psychiatrist who’s main field was ADHD and psychosis - very fitting for me as I most likely have ADHD (on the waiting list for a formal assessment), and my insomnia was so bad at the time I began seeing him that I was beginning to display symptoms of psychosis.
The pregabalin mainly added a much needed sense of stillness - a feeling that removed the fuzzy, worrying, nonsensical, self doubting clouds from my mind and huge reduction in social anxiety. I found being around people still not that enjoyable, but compared to being quite literally scared of human contact a week or so prior, this was an incredible improvement - probably the least anxious I’d felt in a few years. On top of this being an anticonvulsant, pregabalin treated my physical anxiety very well, and gave me a physical stillness and level of control over my nervous ticks like biting nails, tapping feet, looking in every mirror or car/shop window I passed. I just felt more still and as a result; more present in the world I inhabited which was slowly turning from a spikey, cold alien planet, into the bustling, lively city of London I lived in when I was 13 or 14. Furthermore, the amount of REM sleep I was getting was slowly increasing, which was also doing so well for my growing sense of well-being [increased latency and onset of REM sleep is a very well documented effect of pregabalin. In other words, it made getting to sleep easier, and allowed me to sleep for longer with less waking up in the middle of the night]. I adored pregabalin, and still do.
When I started taking buprenorphine every morning on top of my pregabalin, it was like the perfect combination. Buprenorphine just eliminates all unnecessary anxieties that still lingered and gave me a very natural stimulating feeling; I wanted to do things, i felt a need to be productive and give my 100% to whatever I was doing, whether that be creating art, talking to people, doing household chores, or playing battlefield 3 (goddamn I’ve fallen in love with that game is much recently), and to put the cherry on the cake I’ve started going to the park near my house and reading every day regardless of the weather (Miles Davis’ autobiography, I’m very into jazz at the moment, it’s all I listen to). There’s really not that much to say about buprenorphine in comparison to the extensive list of benefits that pregabalin blessed me with, it just compliments the feeling of stillness and increased sense of presence with a pinch of energy and a feeling of general wellbeing.
Since ingesting these two pharmaceuticals on a daily basis for a few months now, I feel better than I ever have in 5 or so years, and not in an intoxicated ignorant way from what I can gauge, more in a tactile interactive way, a way of feeling that i think will allow me to enjoy college next year and reintegrate into a functioning weekly schedule.
If you’ve read through all this, thanks. It means a lot to me. Much love reddit and r/drugs. Peace out ❤️❤️
Submitted October 14, 2019 at 09:07PM by Amer2560 https://ift.tt/2B7DDBR
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