So I'm 13 and my older (and only) sister always acts like shes my mother and can control me, same with my older brother. I'm the youngest of the family so I'm always forced to listen to them.
I'm not one of those spoiled brats people have and I try my best to be considerate, selfless, and think about others first. I hate offending people and over think a lot of scenarios because of my anxiety.
So I dont mind doing things for my older sibling and my sister tends to ask for the most favors. I have no problem with that, I'm just annoyed that no matter how nice I am to her or how many things I do for her, she is somehow aloud to be rude to me, insult me, and curse at me whenever she feels like it. Dont get me wrong shes not a bad person but shes kinda like the bratty popular girl stereotype that you see in movies, just kinder when shes not mad. For example, whenever we hangout in her room if I show the slightest bit of attitude or disrespect to her (from her bothering me or doing something she knows I dont like) then I get kicked out of her room, or she just tells me to get out and I listen like I should. HOWEVER she always goes into my room without permission (as in she unlocks my door with her nails and takes stuff she wants) and whenever I ask her to stay out and respect my privacy, she just brushes me off like invading my safe space is something she has a right to do. I NEVER go into her room without being allowed to and always leave her stuff alone. She even showed my helicopter mother how to unlock my door, and now my mom comes in whenever she wants (like she knocks but doesnt wait and just goes in. Now I have to be careful for whenever I change, wake up, am crying, or just want some privacy cuz I never know whenever she just barges in.
And today I've been nice to her for awhile and dont complain at all, yet I was talking with my mom and later my dad about like something I wanted or a question and she just jumps into the conversation saying things like "not happening" and "shut up". It wasnt even related to her.
I was asking my dad a few hours ago if I could possibly get a drawing tablet for my bday and nothing else cuz they expensive. My sister told me that if I keep my grades up she would get me it (I originally denied since I dont like using my siblings money and I feel guilty asking for anything honestly). So I told her thank you and later on in the conversation she and my dad started saying how I should do ____ better or that ____ is my problem. Keep in mind I'm kinda sensitive when it comes to people talking about me, and I usually dont mind them talking bout this kinda thing, but they keep going back to it every two or three days and wont acknowledge when I'm trying to fix those problems. So I tell them that I've started doing _____ more often and that I'm getting used to doing my ______. Yet they still go on about how i need to work on them more, so i get fed up and say goodnight when they start up again. Then my sister blocks the stairs and goes something like, " Come on Gabs dont be like this. And dont push me cuz I'll fall off😂". I dont but I just say raising my voice slightly (not shouting tho), " Sarah I swear to god I will.". So she moves and gives me a dirty look while saying, "Dont show me attitude, you just lost your tablet!". Then I say, " You show me attitude all the time!". I've never once complained to my parents how she calls me a b**** or that she always puts me down over super small things.
I HATE how she and my bro get away with bossing me around like they own me yet once I show the SLIGHTEST bit of attitude or annoyance I'm suddenly the bad guy and are so ungrateful. My parents know that shes curses at me all the time yet if I call her one small insult I'm grounded. I've cried so many times over not being allowed to speak my mind about how they treat me, and though my dad will listen, he works two jobs and barely gets sleep so I avoid making his relax time emotional. I have no one to vent to about my problems and whenever I do, my mom doesnt listen since I'm "just a kid and it doenst matter if I say im depressed since I dont even know what that really means". My sister I dont trust enough to talk to about my feelings and I'm not close enough to my older brothers to feel comfortable talking to them about most things. Plus to make matters worse I'm SO much different than all my family members so we barely have anything to build a bond to.
My sister: extroverted, likes makeup, fashion, and gossip, extremely short temper, doesnt like being told what to do
My youngest older brother: introvert, likes video games, guns, hunting, knifes (as in he collects them), and anime but isnt that into it and doesnt know much about me so we barely talk, also bosses me around like a parent
My middle older brother: introvert I think, likes anime but also doesnt know much about me so we barely talk, guns, alcohol, hunting, and video games
My eldest brother: I'm not sure whether hes introverted or extroverted, likes guns, knifes, hunting, sorta into anime, sports, politics, and military stuff
And then theres me: EXTREMELY INTROVERTED, likes anime so much, video games but I'm not allowed to play them so I cant really talk about them, art (I'm the only one), kpop, dramas, sports but is super bad at them, singing (cant), dancing (not allowed to dance the genre I like and are too insecure to do it in front of others), and am a goth that's not allowed to dress like one (even tho goth is a music based subculture, and has NOTHING to do with religion or my personality)
So yeah I keep to myself and we dont really talk so we arent close. My dad and I kinda are but I'm still really introverted so he still doesnt know much about me, and I lowkey hate my mother. Dont get me wrong i do love her to an extent but my whole family agree that she might be mentally I'll and that she has never been fit for a mother. ALSO to top everything off my actual youngest older brother died when I was younger so now I cant relate to my family about how sad it makes me since we view that horrible accident differently and now because they've all changed and are different people from that, they have a bond with eachother while they treat me so much differently than what makes me comfortable and happy so we dont have much of a bond. Now I feel like I'm a horrible little sister and have no one to talk to about my feelings so they dont realize how depressed I actually am.
Sorry to be so emotionally but I havent let this out in awhile and i needed to tell this to someone. So does anyone have any advice on how i can feel happier and start having an actual bond with my family. Any at all would be really helpful, please and thank you.
Submitted September 06, 2019 at 08:40AM by Ruby3987 https://ift.tt/2ZHGj77
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