So now that everyone has had time to digest their amuse-bouche I will be serving our soup for this meal. Now I know I said that this meal would be a collection of neckbeards but our chef could help but to put a playful spin on our menu for this evening please refrain from rioting because I promise that you will enjoy this story. Our soup for this evening is an entitled mother and her pupa neckbeard son and recovering legbeard daughter. Honestly I'm surprised that the father was relatively normal and kind.
The mother was a short, portly woman with long brown hair with highlights that she was very proud of (not gonna lie...I was low-key jealous but its probably nothing compared to your hair moony. XD)
Anyway, I first met the daughter; RB two years ago when it was my first year as a summer camp counselor. When I saw her at arts and crafts she would do the bare minimum and then would read one of the two thick mangas she brought with her. One was the seventh volume of Evangelion and the other was the sixth volume of Free! Iwatobi (Iwa-Toby) Swim Team which is basically a fan service anime for girls where the boys are half naked for most the episodes. Sorry for the rant. anyway, she was still a bit of a legbeard who harassed some of the male staff or oldest boy campers and a lot of the female staff couldn't get through to her and at one point when a co-worker and friend of mine, lets call him: Climber because he worked at the climbing wall and had a climbing body getting to the point of Jason Mamoa. He came to tease me and paint a bit and once I shooed him out so I could focused on the campers RB winked at me and said. "I bet he gives you the best sex." I looked at her dumbfounded and tried to laugh it off. "No, we aren't together. Just friends." Now mind you, RB was 14 at the time and Climber was 20. MAJOR JAILBAIT!! I tried my best to get her to interact with her cabin mates and other campers and if I'm honest I feel like I made a difference. Granted, it was probably a hairline crack compared to everything but it was still there.
This past summer I met her brother PB. He was at the camp because his father decided that "You've spent enough time on that darn computer." I saw him at arts and crafts a lot, in fact I am 95% sure that he only showed up for the shade, fan, and other girls. I tried to make him feel welcome but like all neckbeards I am sure he thought, "A girl showing me common curtesy and kindness? ShE mUsT bE iN lOvE wItH mE!!" Now, I had this camper who was six that I basically adopted for the week and he was my little helper. He did things like cleaning a little, get coloring sheets for his friends, and have the cutest little smile on his face most of the time he was there. PB didn't like this very much and would terrorize the poor boy when the other counselor and I would be distracted with other things. However, his anger boiled over at water activities. At the camp I work at I was paired with a lifeguard as a type of assistant. The lifeguard I was paired with had the nickname "Baywatch" we called him this because he was trying to have Zach Efron's bod from the movie. We would playfully flirt now and again, harmless stuff really. Anyway, Baywatch was PB's head counselor and would tell me about how PB was showing some odd behaviors. I chalked to up to "nothing too serious" though I thought it was super creepy how he would glare at us from the water whenever Baywatch and I would tease each other. PB was 15 and a half when he was a camper to put it in perspective. Like, at most I thought it was puberty and nothing more. When lunch rolled around one day and he came up to me with a folded up piece of paper blushing like a mad man, and sweating like a sinner in church. "I-I made you this drawing in hopes that this properly conveys how I feel towards you. After all, thou art more lovely and temperate than a summers day."
Yeah...This kid literally quoted Shakespeare. I smiled at him politely and thanked him. I thought that it was quite sweet for him to draw me something and without really thinking I opened the paper. (I apologize in advance everyone but unfortunately I cannot serve eye bleach as it is against food health regulations.) Inside was a crudely drawn picture of me and this boy naked and kissing with my poorly drawn hand on his junk. I quickly closed it and got up from the table feeling so embarrassed. I took it to the Chaplin for the camp and we discussed with Baywatch what the best course of action would be. We decided that the best time to talk to him would be turning rest time. We took him out onto the porch and told him why this wasn't okay. Even though we handled it as best as we could he got raging mad and started screaming at Baywatch for turning him into a teen cuck and how it was because of him that he'd never get a chance with me. (Because the obvious jail time I would get isn't a good enough reason) It was at that point we called his home and arranged for his mother and father to pick him up and take him home.
When his parents came the next afternoon I explained to the father what happened and showed him the picture. The poor man was so embarrassed that he just hung his head and apologized profusely. However, while he was loading his son's things into their blue BMW the mother stepped out and when I say she embodied a Karen BY GOD did she embody a Karen. She had her hair trimmed and flat-ironed along with freshly done nails and those large obnoxious sunglasses. I went to greet her but she gave me an icy stare and snatched the picture away before rolling her eyes. "Oh this is nothing! you are stifling my precious baby's creativity and heart! You should feel lucky that my son showed interest in you! I normally wouldn't let him pursue a relationship with a mutt such as yourself." now this line broke me. I felt like time had stopped and I was thrown back into my middle school years. In those painful years when my class found out I was part Vietnamese and Native American they would torment me. I pass for white a good amount of time but those awful kids would always say horrible things like "Why don't you work at the nail salon with all the other slant eyes?", "Why don't you go live on a reservation and make feather hats like the scardy-cat Indian you are?", "You're nothing but a dirty mutt!", etc. I felt numb and sat for a minute before snapping back to reality when the mother demanded to speak to my boss and have me fired for making advances towards her son who could do no wrong. At that moment I was so scared of losing my job and being arrested for something I didn't do that I had to walk away. From what the Chaplin told me the father calmed his wife down and scolded his son for what he did and was enraged when he heard about how his son bullied a 6 year old.
I see the family at free days we have at the camp but I only really speak to the father and daughter who are doing pretty well, The daughter is finishing up high school early last I heard and I'm happy for her.
Anyway, I love you all and your appetizer should be arriving shortly. stay safe and live your best lives!
Mango, out!
Submitted September 05, 2019 at 08:49AM by MangoMatchaVA https://ift.tt/2HLOF3t
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