Pondering having mom move in and would love to talk about it and get input.

Posting here because I have no idea where to go with this. I’m considering having my 82 year old super in pain and frail but tough as nails mom move in. Having her die in an old persons home like my dad? No fucking way. But fuck what would I be getting myself into? Fuck. She’s a bit high maintenance but has also done a lot of work on herself so kinda apologetic and embarrassed about it. She likes to talk. Talk talk talk. Crazy broad sweeping generalizations and theories. I used to find it infuriating because I couldn’t say no. Now it’s interesting. I say I don’t feel like talking now. It’s been really hard for her and kinda uncomfortable but also a bit exciting seeing things as they are. So when we do talk I’m actually in the mood and I no longer get pissed. And my kids aren’t little and into granny anymore which was challenging but seems ok. After some conversations my mom seems to be getting it. There’s that. Overall good but could go in many directions. Then there’s living space. We have the perfect detached garage. But we need money and family help so this needs to be a concerted effort. Not a ton. My kids dad is a contractor as is my sisters boyfriend. But still I’d like my family’s input and help to make this go smoothly. I love my mom but I also need her in her own space. My house is not big enough. And I need space. She is thankfully super independent. We bought her a bike on a recent visit so she could ride to her AA meetings. She’s very social. Started an art class last year. Has an art show this coming week. So she’d figure things out and get a life here. My mom keeps telling me things like she moved in the condo to die. And she’s gonna die in there abandoned. But I don’t think she’s being clear with everyone else. They think she’s great. Plus it’s at high altitude and she has to be on oxygen. My sister recently moved my mom off of my moms forty acres and bought her a tiny older adult condo. Mom is heart broken. I told her if she wants this to happen she needs to be very clear this is what she wants and she’s not happy. So that’s about it. I’m still feeling torn in the knowledge of what I’d be taking on as she no longer can care for herself. Had a great talk with my therapist about it today thankfully. Thank you.

Submitted August 22, 2019 at 08:41AM by wellsfargostillsucks https://ift.tt/2TPQmBu