Background
Me and BFF have been friends for almost 12 years now, ever since middle school. I'm from a working poor family, person of colour, he's a white upper class guy. We bonded over our shitty parents divorcing around the same time, but then discovered we were both video game and sci fi nerds, as well as big readers. We've gone through pretty much every milestone since meeting, and we've both dug each other out of severe mental health/family crisis issues in the past with no judgment. We're family at this point, and we'd die for each other.
That being said, he comes from an upper class family that was inconsistent with instilling a work ethic in him (one parent way too harsh, the other a complete enabler and pushover). When they divorced, he lived with his pushover parent, and things just hit rock bottom. His parent would allow him to stay home from class for almost any reason, missing 4/5 days of school or more per week. He failed everything for years, and nothing myself or our other best friend (25M now, but he was one year above us in HS) OR our beloved arts teacher could do would convince him to motivate himself and pass classes.
He failed high school, and it took him another 2 years of on and off summer school and charter school to get his GED. In that time, he had no inclination to work or study and lived in parent's basement.
Fast forward about 2 years, he finally gets the hint from us that living with pushover parent is bad cheese, and he moves into gung-ho parent's house. This parent gives him a job within the company, but eventually kicks him out and helps him rent out an apartment. Last year, other BFF and I staged an intervention to get him to find a full time job and choose a university for him to apply to. He brushed us off, but nonetheless enrolled sometime last Spring, and was working a labour job w/ above minimum wage salary until school started.
Other BFF and I finally feel like we can let go, especially since our own lives were becoming so demanding.
Le shit
Well, shit. He finally drops it to us that he had stopped going to class after about 4 weeks of his 1 year program, and that he's deferring the year to seek better mental health support. He doesn't wanna go back to his labour job, so he says he going to work across the street part time at minimum wage while he looks for a breeder to purchase a dog from. He can't afford the rent on his apartment, and can't afford any of the costs associated with a new puppy.
Other BFF and I are flabbergasted, and a bit worn out at this point. We are both hard workers, graduated, and planning to leave home when we can, but it's hard to stay friends with him. He hasn't really nailed down any of the house skills one needs to be an adult, still wants to become a famous writer, but constantly complains about his old boss and class being too easy but his teachers being ballbusting. He'd never admit it, but he continues to look down on us being ultimately less intelligent than him, and he kind of just gives a glazed over look every time we try to advise him. He knows pushover parent will just take him back when things go south.
At this point, it's nails on a chalkboard to hear him talk about how excited he is to have found a breeder, or how he wants to check out a new sushi place, or even coming after us for having a messy apartment... plus the typical complaining about having to do laundry or pay your hydro on time.
Is there a balance between telling the Emperor he has no clothes on and checking out???
TLDR; male best friend is the embodiment of white people problems, hates and quit work and school, wants to live in his unaffordable apartment and buy a breeder dog while he "figures out life", can't stand to hear him whine about how things are of average difficulty or just general annoyance. Need to know how to stay friends when I wanna strangle sense into him to get his shit together.
Submitted August 07, 2019 at 05:48PM by OhYeahEhWellSorry https://ift.tt/2YPDbBJ
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