Heeeyy, I'm sure you guys get asked this sorta thing all the time, but Google's not really been very helpful so I figured I might have better luck asking myself somewhere.
I'm 18M. I know for sure that I'm attracted to girls, so I'm just tryna figure out if I'm also attracted to dudes. I think that sounds kinda weird cos surely you just know at some point but I guess either I'm not or haven't had that point yet. People have always wondered if I'm gay cos I guess I look kinda twinky, and I've done things/am interested in some things that are sorta stereotypical of a gay guy. I know that stuff isn't what makes anyone gay/bi, but now that it's the Summer holidays (UK, not sure if US is still on them lol), I've felt a lot more free. Free of 6th Form and the mind-numbing science lessons I chose (I'm going back to a different college in September to do some kinda Art course), and free of a certain "friend" (who I stood up to around Christmas, which has contributed greatly to this freedom). I think as a result, I've found myself expressing myself a bit more, which I guess includes acting a bit more feminine in private (like I'm genuinely considering painting my nails lol, dunno how that'd go down with family though). Again, I know that femininity ≠ gay/bi, but I guess it got me thinking about my sexuality.
Something else that got me thinking is I think I might have a bit of a celeb-crush on Tom Holland. I feel like that's kinda been a thing since watching Spiderman Homecoming, but I've only realised it after watching Spiderman Far From Home and seeing various pictures of him while looking for hairstyle ideas. Dude's just cute as hell. Also, I've noticed that sometimes if I'd happened upon something a bit homoerotic I'd get kinda turned on by it (sorry if that's kinda TMI).
This might sound pretty conclusive to you but I just don't know lol. I think part of the problem though is that the same "friend" mentioned above might've injustly put me off of homosexual relationships. He's gay, and I feel like the kind of things he'd say to me or he'd just say in general, plus everything else he'd do to me give me that bad idea about having a relationship/sex with a guy. Part of me knows that it doesn't have to be like how he made it out to be, but I just can't shake that feeling, you know (also, don't worry, I know that what he's done is a very small minority of the gay community).
So yea, sorry for the long rambling post for what could've basically been left as just the title but no matter how hard I try I can't summarize stuff like this. Any advice you guys have will be greatly appreciated
Submitted August 04, 2019 at 11:18PM by throwaway618369 https://ift.tt/2KohBiw
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