XPWEW ALL OR NOTHING 2019 Results!!

⚡️XPWEW All or Nothing 2019 Hammerstein Ballroom New York, NY July 28th, 2019 Commentary: Joey Styles and Kandi Khaos

Opening Video Package: Song: Nothing to You by Twiztid Showcases the feuds of Priscilla, Regina Clausen, Troy Clausen and Audrey Carbine then Slayer vs Moxley then the Case Your Luck match then Edwards vs Awesome

Will Olaffub gets his own entrance to no music and a chorus of cheers which is completely bizarro. But that’s the Hammerstein Ballroom for you!

Eddie Edwards enters first as the challenger to a big reaction. A “Fuck him up Eddie fuck em up clap clap” chants that resonates throughout the Ballroom. Edwards salacious smile as he feels he has home turf. Edwards even starts jaw jacking with Casey Alfonso sitting in the front row.

Jake Awesome enters to a mixed reaction. Chants of “Fuck Jake Awesome” clashing with “Awesome Sucks”

Awesome even stops halfway down the aisle way to notice a fan in full on Captain Falcon gear

Quote: Joey Styles “I’ve had the pleasure to call every single Jake Awesome World Title match and tonight something feels at jeopardy”

M1: XPWEW World Heavyweight Title Sixty Minute Ironman Match Jake Awesome (c) vs Eddie Edwards

Creative chants throughout this match go: * Captain Falcon clap clap clap clap * Fuck him Eddy fuck him up * Fuck Jake Awesome * Awesome Sucks * We Love Olaffub clap clap clap * Chris Benoit chant * They start doing Nakamura’s theme song chant for some reason * Yes there will be beach balls

After 27 minutes of action Awesome gets his Awesome Bomb countered as Edwards absorbs the impact and rolls hum into a crossface and Awesome taps out Edwards is up 1-0 with 33 minutes to go

About 8 minutes later Awesome connects a big splash for the top and a slow pinfall gets him the 1-2-3 It’s now tied 1-1 with 25 minutes left

19 minutes pass without a fall and Edwards starts to show his desperation and tells Olaffub to hit awesome with a weapon, it’ll get him disqualified and cost him a point but maybe he can catch up and make it even before time expires. Will Olaffub hits Awesome with a steel chair and it doesn’t even phase Awesome and the ref awards a point to Jake for that DQ making it 2-1 Jake up; Casey Alfonso gets fed up with Ollafub’s subtle remarks to him at ringside the whole night and he jumps the rail and tackles Ollafub and starts to wail on him and Jake pulls him off but the ref deducts a point from Jake as a DQ making it 1-1 now after all that about 5 minutes remain. Edwards starts to get some chain Olympic style wrestling on Jake to make the time expire but Jake starts to outwrestle him quite a bit and somehow Edwards locks in the crossface with about 2:35 left. Awesome powers out and lifts up to his feet meanwhile Edwards still has his crossface haphazardly allpied Jake drops him outside onto the thin mat outside the ring. Jake goes to the ropes, Suicide Dive connects and Jake rolls Edwards in the ring Edwards seems done, Jake covers 1-2 KICKOUT! 40 seconds remain and Jake hits a quick awesome bomb and this time that’s enough for the 1-2-3. Jake then dumps Edwards out to the outside of the ring landing on the exposed concrete and Edwards can’t get up as 19 seconds slowly expire. Awesome wins 2-1 and still the XPWEW World Heavyweight Champion Winner: Jake Awesome 2-1

Awesome celebrates and begins a proper Hey Hey Hey Nah Nah Nah Nah goodbye chant. Edwards scowls at Jake and walks off with the crowd hitting him with that chant. The crowd play made this seemingly long match a lot more enjoyable. Well paced

Promo: Heatwave 2019 commercial Song: Born to raise Hell by Crazy Town Charlotte North Carolina Sunday August 18th, 2019

Doxy Deity and Toni Storm enter followed by Amy Lee then Kiera Hogan with Rosemary. Enter Genevalisse who enters the ring to big fanfare now makes her debut! Based Fabian even introduces her himself

M2: 6 Woman Tag Elimination Match Amy Lee, Rosemary & Kiera Hogan vs Doxy Deity, Toni Storm & Genevalisse

• Doxy, Toni and Genevalisse triple pin Amy Lee
• Rosemary eliminates Toni Storm
• Kiera Hogan rolls up Doxy Deity (her first pinfall victory in XPWEW finally)
• Genevalisse superkicks Rosemary and pins her Now it’s down to Kiera Hogan and her long time Major League Wrestling rival opponent formerly known as Ivelisse going at it 1 on 1
• Genevalisse defeats Kiera and wins it for her team Genevalisse, Toni and Doxy defeat Amy, Rosemary and Kiera Hogan. Kiera Hogan’s losing skid is over her and Rosemary jump for joy and even Based Fabian with his Juniorweight title comes out and puts it around the waist of Genevalisse congratulating her on her debut victory

Nick Simmonds Interviews the All Man; All Man asks where the fuck is Dr. Cube he’s running around in the shadow realm with the XPWEW No Limits Title But who cares I’m focused on tonight. My night. My show. Do you like the stage setup? I have a chance tonight. A chance albeit a chance split up between 8 people so that gives me realistically what a 12 and a half percent chance of victory tonight? Those odds aren’t great but I always have a plan A, Plan B even C.

Best 2 out of 3 Falls M3: Champagne Clausen defeats GG with no help from the Freight Train which was a huge criticism from General Manager Romeo Roselli. Curt wins both falls in the contest 2-0 over GG! Curt Clausen is now 6-0! Troy Clausen comes in the ring and even says 6-0! 6-0! 6-0! Freight Train comes out and nervously asks for the mic, Troy graciously gives him the mic, sure Freight Train you are apart of the family. What did you want to say? Freight Train: since,,since he won the match two times I think that makes him Seven and Zero! Troy laughs! Yes! Yes! Yes! Seven and O!!!!!

Post Match Interview Champagne Clausen pops a bottle of Champagne and says his little sister Regina Clausen is going to become the women’s champ tonight!

M4: Chris Johnson defeats Dragon Kid and he’s now the #1 contender for the XPWEW Juniorweight Title (current champion Based Fabian)

Interview: Nick Simmonds is joined by Slayer. Slayer says this match is over a decade in the making. I’ve been wanting to see the myth that is John Moxley in that ring for so long. I knew one day he was gonna be in my ring. Now I’m gonna make him tap. And I will walk out of the Hammerstein Ballroom this infamous and beautiful venue with the IWGP United States Title in my hands

M5: XPWEW Tag Team Championships Ruckus & Lexoni defeat Vinny Testaverde & Rondo in a bloodbath. Easily one of the best matches for Free Agency as a team.

nZo blood smeared in his face tried to talk but this Hammerstein Ballroom crowd can’t let him get a word in without some creative chants; “you may have won the battle but you smucks have not won the war”. Ruckus and Lexoni laugh it off holding their titles in the air!

M6: XPWEW World Women’s Championship 3 Way Dance Priscilla Kelly retains the title defeating Regina Clausen and Audrey Carbine

Closing sequence Priscilla Kelly puts her tampon in Regina’s mouth causing Regina to forfeit. Curt Clausen tries to interfere and Audrey applies the art of ballistics on him and while she’s got the armbar applies Priscilla comes off the top rope with a steel chair straight to the face. Stuns her! Priscilla pins Audrey 1-2-3 for the win! The crowd goes insane! Priscilla is really over here!

Backstage: Troy Clausen is banging on the door of General Manager Romeo Roselli! Where in the god damn articles of confederation does it say anywhere that a medical, rag, sheep wool, sanitary Tampax pad can be used as a weapon. I know the books in here this used to be my filing cabinet you know that, and you probably moved all my shit around. Romeo listen Troy, were XPWEW. Fans can bring the weapons here ok there are no rules. A tampon while albeit disgusting and disturbingly unique is all fair. Troy: Oh fair? You know what’s not fair. This crowd. This sea of human waste throwing their garbage at my son and daughter. Think about that Romeo, human garbage flushing garbage at athletic royalty because of what? Jealousy. Is that fair? Is it fair that a jagaloon like Audrey Carbine thinks it’s fair to attack my son, who wasn’t even involved in the match. I’m sick of it. My daughter probably has HIV. And we’re gonna get here tested. Better than that we’re gonna test. Priscilla Kelly. And knowing your lifestyle Romeo you should consider a check up yourself. I’ll be back on Friday with a test and we’re gonna make some changes around here.

M7: Unsanctioned Match IWGP United States Championship Slayer vs Jon Moxley

Closing sequence: Jon Moxley has concocted this board taped with thornbushes and Mox Drops Slayer onto it from atop the ladder for the 1-2- kickout Slayer applies the helmed sharpshooter from the dead essentially and Moxley taps out AND NEWWWWWWWW IWGP UNITED STATES CHAMPION THE DRAGONSLAYER. Moxley picks him up after and they both praise the audience!

M8: Case Your Luck Ladder Match Golden Bryce vs Leonard McGraw vs Brodie Croyle vs 3M Ultra vs All Man vs Joe Gacy vs Based Fabian vs Jaques Dudley

Best High spots: Leonard McGraw lariat mid air off one ladder to a hanging 3M Ultra

Jaques and 3M hit side by side 630 splash off ladders onto Croyle and Joe Gacy But they both move out the way

Jocelyn Washington jumps the rail and tries to wake up Golden Bryce and Brodie Croyle grabs her and hits her with the Silent Echo and crowd pops huge. Croyle scales the ladder, Leonard McGraw tips the ladder slowly backward and Croyle does a sick no look bump falling onto A table. Unbelievable spot!!!! Leonard McGraw goes to climb the ladder (Dragon Kid and Ms. Ryu cheering him on, he hesitates to climb and Dragon Kid gives him the mask and he puts it on but that might of spent too much time because when he grabs the case up top he’s hit by some powder - like substance by this bust blonde woman wearing a milk man? I guess milk woman suit. The powder was a little distracting but then she pulls a flourscent light tube out of a belt holster and nails McGraw across the back. McGraw drops like a sack of potatoes and All Man in a raven taunt slump in the corner gets lifted up by this female and hoists him on the ladder, All Man regains consciousness enough to speed up the ladder and he unlocks the hook and wins the case Your Luck Ladder match! All Man is Mr. Case Your Luck

Winner: All Man thanks to a busty blonde female in a milk woman cow print 🐮 outfit. Who turns out to be Emma from WWE under a new name; Tenille Dashwood is the ALL WOMAN

After the match: Crowd is boo-ing throwing garbage and trash and this female grabs the mic and excitedly announces herself as Emma, Tenille Dashwood she is the ALL WOMAN!!!!!!

All Man and All Woman Walk up the ramp with smiles on their faces and they look at the entrance setup with basically a tribute to the All Man and they give each other this look and go to the right side and pull down a curtain to reveal a giant poster of All Woman as well. Great moment. What a debut. Show Ends

Submitted July 29, 2019 at 03:38AM by JescoWhiteLightning https://ift.tt/2GwRAfu