For context, Tubular Bells is from Part 7, wielded by Head of White House Security Mark O. It allows its user to inflate metal objects like nails or tin shutters into semi-automatic balloon animals that burrow into its victims to then revert to their original forms. These balloon animals also gain traits of the creature's their mimicking, such as a balloon dog being able to track a scent.
I mean, Risotto is already dressed like a clown. It literally makes no sense. There is nothing that Metallica can do that Tubular Bells cannot achieve:
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Making Doppio regurgitate razor blades would be a simple matter of Risotto tying a whole bunch of balloon hummingbirds prior to the the fight and having them burrow into the back of Doppio's neck without his knowledge, then turn back into razor blades.
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The loss of iron in the bloodstream could be achieved if Risotto stuck, like, a golf tee in somebody's neck and blew on it really hard, hinging on the idea that the metal in the tee and the iron in the blood would act as a single entity. Either the poor fellow vomits up a very long balloon snake like a Play-Doh Fun Factory or its death by inflation fetish.
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Same thing goes with the metal in the earth. Assuming Risotto carries a golf tee everywhere with him, he could stick it in the ground and give it what I'm henceforth coining "the platinum succ."
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With the whole body part manipulation thing. Uh, he could just have, like, a balloon animal carry it over or something. And then reattach the limb by - Okay, so say he creates a lil' balloon tapeworm and sews the body part back on with it. That works.
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Right. Invisibility. So assuming that the balloon animals mimic their flesh counterparts in some respects, if Risotto turned, say, the car into a giant metal iguana. Or was it a chameleon that camouflages? I think it was an iguana. 'Kay, so Risotto gets into the car and makes it so that the balloon iguana that's created it is form fitting, like a weird fursuit. But wait, how would he tie the inflatable fursuit from inside the vehicle? And wouldn't the car be too large? Ooh, maybe he could get Doppio to help; he doesn't seem to be doing much. So yeah, invisible inflatable iguana.
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So with controlling Aerosmith... Uh. Maybe Risotto could, like, uh. So if he gave Doppio the platinum succ with the aforementioned golf tee and churned out a really long snake lasso, then- wait, no, Risotto was mortally wounded by Aerosmith, there wouldn't be enough time. Unless the chunks that landed on Aerosmith contained a whole bunch of miniature balloon ants. Yeah, okay. So before the fight even begins, Risotto uses his years of experience as a circus clown to blow up a bunch of miniature balloon ants and have them burrow into him. So now there's a whole bunch of tiny metallic balloon animals swarming Risotto's bloodstream, which is kind of like Metallica but completely different because one has balloon animals and one doesn't. Okay, so the blood-filled-with-ants lands on Aerosmith, right? But they can't get inside the cockpit to take control of it because it's sealed tight. I mean, have you ever seen what the pilot of Aerosmith looks like? I mean, besides Trish; he doesn't count. What I think is going on is that the pilot's breath has fogged up the windows because there's nowhere else for the air to go. That's why Trish needs a radar to see what Aerosmith's doing, right? Right.
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Breaking this up into multiple paragraphs. Now, the balloon ants need a way to pry open the cockpit, but they're balloon animals. And they can't exactly burrow into Aerosmith because it's an airplane. What if they made a bridge - fire ants do that, right? Just got done watching Ant Man - between Aerosmith and Risotto, so something else could cross over? I think I've figured it out. I'VE FIGURED IT OUT! YES!
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So, while Diavolo is gloating over Risotto's body, the ant bridge is well underway. Risotto suddenly pulls out his trusty metal golf tee, and plunges it into Epitaph's forehead. Now, the reason why it needs to be Epitaph specifically is because it has a smaller mouth and therefore a much thinner balloon produced via the platinum succ. Risotto- Wait, NO! Diavolo's out of blood! Okay, backtracking a bit. While Risotto is in the car creating his invisible inflatable igua- no, chameleon. His invisible, inflatable, chameleon-themed, metal balloon-animal fursuit. Anyway, what if he uses the remainder of the car's mass to create a 「Tubular Bells」 facsimile of Risotto himself, who then double teams with Risotto Prime in their stealth chameleon fursuit?! Then, when Risotto is at the mercy of Diavolo, Balloon Animal Risotto steps out from the shadows, spouts a spiffy one-liner, then tightrope-walks up the bridge of balloon animal fire ants with a crowbar-shaped nail and a miniature squeegee crafted from oils and wild grass in the area! Then Risotto shrinks 「Tubular Bells」 just like Kakyoin and Polnareff did that one time so that Balloon Animal Risotto is the size of the cockpit. Using the miniature grass squeegee, B.A.R. cleans away the years of condensation from the cockpit window from its pilot's breath so it can find the mechanism to open it. Then, using the crowbar-shaped nail, B.A.R. pries the cockpit window open from and kills the pilot... Except that would also kill the Stand User. Crap. And there's not even a guarantee that Aerosmith is controllable from the cockpit. But what if...
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This is it. The final iteration. Risotto has ants burrow into his bloodstream so he can get them onto Aerosmith. He creates a duplicate balloon animal clone of himself out of half of the car while using the other half to craft his handy-dandy, two-person, inflatable chameleon fursuit. After being shot by Aerosmith, the balloon animals in Risotto's blood come together to form a bridge/tether between Aerosmith and Risotto. Balloon Animal Risotto shrinks, forgoes the squeegee, and tightrope-walks over to Aerosmith where he jams the mini-crowbar into the cockpit window. Then Risotto grabs onto the bridge of inflatable ants and pulls Aerosmith close enough that he can use the nail jammed in the window to give Aerosmith the platinum succ and turn it into one of his balloon animals. This in turn causes poor Trish to inflate like a DeviantArt anthro with a bicycle pump. Risotto fashions Aerosmith into a balloon animal apache helicoptor, which then fires upon Diavolo before he could possibly have time to react!
tl;dr - Tubular Bells was a much better fit for Risotto than Metallica, and I feel like it was a huge waste of potential on Araki's part.
Submitted July 08, 2019 at 08:53AM by GlassesFreekJr https://ift.tt/2Xsojx4
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