I wanted to share the conversation for posterity. I lost the first few messages which were about her blaming me for her inability to trust anyone and how I need to apologise for causing her issues, but here's the rest.
Me:
I'm really sick of your holier than though attitude.
Let me recount a story that perfectly demonstrates the dynamic we had.
I contacted you to see when we were meeting. Marcus [her ex] had been over to pick up Silas [their son], and you had flipped out at him, pulling his car door open and screaming at him to demand answers. You told me that you were in town and were in a bad mood. I knew that you were the one in the wrong, but I went into town to meet you and show my support. Partly out of concern for your state of mind, but also because I knew there would be hell to pay if I didn't. Such is the mentality created by your stick training.
I got into town and met you in the pub. I asked you what was wrong and tried to cheer you up, but you were being snarky and hostile towards me the whole time. We came back to my house afterwards and you turned your aggression onto Ben [another ex] over the phone, using the fact that he and Marcus had discussed their timetable together regarding plans with the kids as an excuse to lash out. The narcissistic injury of being cut out of the loop was too much for you to bear, so you acted like a mad dog, biting at everyone around you to relieve your psychic pain. I told you to calm down and explained that they hadn't done anything to deserve that sort of response, so you turned you abuse onto me. I know that in your twisted head, you're going to say that I deserved it, but can you remember what was happening the moment those eggshells broke beneath my feet? I do. I was trying to cheer you up by showing you humorous rapper singing about Goth Girls. What a monster I am!
So you turned your attention onto me since I was a more cathartic punching bag for you. Literally, as you started shoving me around and slapping me. I grabbed your wrists to stop you and told you that you either had to clam down or leave if you were getting violent. You started screaming and crying and tried to pull a knife from the kitchen draw. I went to stop you and grabbed hold of the knife by the blade. You were tugging and trying to get it out of my grasp, but I was bending the blade to get a better hold and to stop you from slicing my palm open. Then you let go and grabbed another knife from the draw before I could react. Luckily it wasn't a knife and was a pizza cutter instead. You started waving it around and jabbing at me with the pizza cutter while screaming at me. Threatening me like that was the last straw and now I wanted you out and told you definitively that you had to go because you were acting like a psychopath. You started trying to cut your arms with the pizza cutter and marching up and down my driveway wailing like a banshee. I put the padlock on the gate so you couldn't come back inside and you sat sobbing on the other side.
After about half an hour passed you burned out, so I opened the gate and let you back in. You went and hid in the dining room and started playing London Grammar way to loud and refused to talk until later that evening when you went back home. The next day there was no apology for the way you had acted. The opposite in fact. You demanded an apology from me! You even went so far as to accuse me for bruising your wrists when you had self inflicted them yourself with the pizza cutter.
That example is a level 10 incident, so the events of your outburst aren't really typical. The complete lack of accountability isn't however.
Her:
I havent said I'm not accountable for some of that, have I? However, I remember that day and what happened differently. But because I do, I'm the one in the wrong right? Just because I don't agree with you.
Her:
As for holier than thou... You havent once apologised for anything because you believe you do no wrong, or were pushed by me - making me responsible for your words and actions. Its a blatant projection.
Her:
Also, I didnt jab you with a pizza cutter at all! Why do you keep lying?!
Me:
Jabbing at me.
Her:
Also, your girlfriend is 'acting like a psycho', otherwise known as having an episode, and your answer was to send her packing and lock her out, even though she was a threat to herself and not you. Jesus christ.
Me:
You were attacking me and wielding a weapon. So yes, you go.
Her:
I wasnt attacking you and you even.laughed at me for using a pizza cutter. Yeah totally dangerous. See, just a complete fucking liar.
Me:
You're perfectly demonstrating the lack of accountability I described here.
Her:
Im not denying accountability. I had a pizza cutter and was trying to hurt myself with it. Thats my accountability. Everything else about that incident has been grossly exaggerated or is a straight up lie.
Me:
Downplay your own actions to make them seem trivial, while putting the wrong doing onto others. Pretty typical.
Her:
See you cant even respond with anything remotely subjective. Trying to put yourself in my shoes. Just more abuse straight up.
Me:
Why are you contacting me anyway? Did something happen between you and you new soulmate?
Let me guess, you acted out and now you're looking for someone to blame?
Her:
Stop changing the subject because you know I have a fucking point.
Me:
Did I guess correctly? This all sounds very familiar.
"It's not my fault, it's Marcus and everything he put me through"
Her:
Stick to one subject. You know Im valid here so its find the next round of ammunition you can try to fire at me. Its not happening, and as I've told you my love life is none of your concern
Me:
I guess I hit the nail on the head.
If it's none of my concern, then stop trying to make me the reason for your romantic issues and leave me alone.
Her:
You havent hit any head on nail because I've point blank refused to talk about it, insisting instead that we talk about this capacity you have for spinning lies because I recount something differently from you - as I'm allowed to do. Because I won't indulge in your baiting, its back to the sulky 'leave me alone'.
Me:
Yeah, what lies have a told?
Me:
Don't bother answering that. I'm not interested in JADEing.
Her:
Point proven.
Me:
Glad I could help. Now if you don't mind, I have a million better things to do than talk to you.
Bye.
Her:
Well likewise, my art is actually on display publically and going somewhere. I dont need to lie about my success to make me seem sorted.
Me:
Well Done.
Her:
Thanks.
Submitted July 25, 2019 at 02:28PM by HostOfOwls https://ift.tt/2YiYNpI
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