Please help type me! I apologize for how long this is! I’ve been looking into the enneagram lately as well and as I was answering these I forgot that maybe this is more information that is needed for mbti. I’ve done a few quizzes online and come up as either INFJ or ENFJ. I don’t think the quizzes are especially helpful because I over analyze everything and feel like I have to qualify or explain every answer ~cringe~. Anyway, here are my answers.
How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself. - 43 female, curious bookworm, caring, extroverted-introvert lol
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? - Ive been treated for clinical depression for years.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it? - I was the oldest of two kids. My parents divorced when I was around 10. Both remarried a few years later. My family was pretty religious, conservative, relatively strict. My mom and dad were both professionals, perfectionists and had high standards. They both had emotional problems of their own and not a lot of extra energy beyond their responsibilities and own personal struggles. My mom suffered from bipolar disorder and had several hospitalizations when I was young for nervous breakdowns. I’m sure my father was depressed too, looking back, but he showed it by being angry, emotionally distant and hard to please. He detested my mother’s “weakness” and emotional nature. (Guess what I was ashamed discover about myself of and hated to show?). I was perhaps the dutiful firstborn, trying to be “good”, not rock the boat or attract undue attention. I really wanted their affection and praise. Only minor rebellions as a teenager, almost all covert rather than open defiance. I didn’t want to be the cause of disappointment and I absolutely didn’t want any anger directed at me.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? - Nurse. I liked it. I had a chance to be a support during some people’s scariest times and to help them navigate it and let them know they weren’t alone. I loved the science and medicine, just learning in general and being able to share that with patients in ways they could understand and use. It was high pressure though and easy to feel burnt out. In the crush of being overworked in an understaffed job, it felt like I was just able to do the bare minimum of charting, meds and task oriented things with little time for the more mental and emotional connection that was most rewarding for me.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? Love it! I can find plenty of things to do. The freedom of having a whole weekend stretched in front of me where I could do anything I wanted? Hallelujah! When I’m around other people I always feel like I’m trying to see what’s going on with them, what they might need. I don’t want that to come off as me trying to seem like a “good” person, it’s more like a nervous tick, like I have trouble relaxing if I know someone else is NOT relaxed. It’s nice when I can look around and everybody’s happily doing their own thing!!! So being by myself feels wonderfully freeing. I wouldn’t want to do it forever, but a weekend would be great. Heck, every other weekend would be great!
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities? - Reading, writing. Art and crafts, scrapbooking. Love the outdoors. Just poking about exploring. I like photography. Surfing the Internet. Not much into TV, if I do, it is usually binge watching a whole season of something and then not watching it at all for the next few weeks. Not really into sports except as a spectator. I was on a swim team when I was younger and enjoyed it, but I never wanted to be in typical team sports (the idea that I could let other people down!!)
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate? - Extremely curious. I find so many things interesting. I’m forever looking something up. I may be reading a fiction book and one of the characters is an Air Marshal. I start wondering “Exactly what does an air marshal do? How many flights do they make?” Next thing you know, I’m googling and reading and reading. Along the way I discover a few interesting scandals and mishaps and that suicides are increasing and I read some more. I DO make it back to my book eventually but only after a sometimes lengthy and enjoyable side trip. I often have more ideas and plans that I could possibly do. Example: starting calligraphy...and brush lettering...and watercolor...and pen and ink drawing...and...just too many areas. I would be much better if I narrowed my focus to one at a time, but they all interest me. Or the fact that I have 50 tabs open in my browser at once as I follow down different rabbit trails discovering new interesting things. I haven’t FINISHED exploring this topic, so I’d better keep this tab open as I start reading about this other thing that is connected in another tab. I may end up at the end of the day far from where I started and never actually finish. In which case I bookmark pages, pin them on Pinterest, etc all because they’re fascinating and one day I might explore them if I’mbored (?!?? I’ve NEVER been bored but Im scared I might be one day)
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be? - Heck no. You couldn’t pay me enough! I’ve got a lot to contribute but it would have to be more of a mentor relationship or equals where people didn’t feel like I was bossing them around. I’m knowledgeable and can have some rather visionary ideas though. Im good at rallying people together even. If it was a group of like-minded people all pulling together and being creative it would be great, but eventually leaders have to deal with conflicts, make reprimands, or make unpopular demands. That would be hard for me. I’d rather inspire and encourage from the sidelines.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity? - Not especially. I like calligraphy, making jewelry, that sort of thing. I suck at typing with my thumbs on my phone. And I’m not good with video game controllers with tons of buttons and too much happening too fast. Have a guitar and drums but Im not good at them.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer. - I’ve always been fascinated with words and creative writing. I love the idea of being able to paint with words so that someone reading would be able to see it, hear it as if they were there. I avoided “art” like the plague growing up. I’m a perfectionist and the idea of having to draw/paint as a beginner and show someone (!!! cringe) Now, in my 40s, I’ve discovered I like calligraphy, watercolor, art journaling. But I’m secretive about it. I’m reluctant to share what I’ve made and plenty of times throw it away because I’m discouraged with it. I like the process, and I like it best if I’m just “fiddling around” experimenting and there’s no intention to create some finished piece of art.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them? - I can be somewhat pessimistic. News and current events really get me down. There are times I feel like I need to step away from the news. I have to focus and purposely look for the good to counter those feelings. The future seems so uncertain. It makes me anxious.
The past? I’m very sentimental and have a lot of good memories. I love to share stories with family and go through old pictures or reminisce. Sometimes with delight, sometimes with nostalgic longing. There were some life-altering painful things in my past and I go through periods where I get caught up in sad memories, feeling it all over again and trying to analyze and to find meaning in it. I probably idealize melancholy and sadness. I’m alternately drawn to it and afraid of it. Afraid of getting lost in it, because I know that it can happen. I will try to drown it out in busyness, obsessive routine, energetic music, 100 games of Lumosity, something like that if I don’t feel like I can handle it.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so? -Its very hard for me to say no. I identify with people and my natural inclination is to help alleviate their stress or anxiety. If it was a request for more of a general task, I would still have a hard time saying no, but for different reasons. I wouldn’t want to be seen as rude. But I can feel overwhelmed pretty easily and there’s usually a little bit of panic/dread fluttering around inside as I’m hoping the other persons need won’t be too great or too lengthy. I tend to take on other people’s emotions and if they’re sad/grieving/anxious/panicked it will definitely rub off on me even if it’s not my problem.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life? - I don’t like uncertainty. Routine is good...and bad. I guess I like routine that I can CHOOSE to change. Does that make sense? I like adventure and excitement but more at my instigation. Even if it’s not, I can get caught up in the excitement and love it. But having a prolonged period of inconsistency is extremely draining.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you? No real strong feelings about this. I don’t want to waste time but I’ve seen people who are take it to the extreme and I think they need to relax just a tad.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that? - Yeah, there could be some emotional manipulation. Not a conscious thing but probably through moodiness, withdrawing when my feelings are hurt. Or doing things so others will like me.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them? - Reading, absolutely! I love other worlds and characters and I’m endlessly curious. It’s just about my go-to activity. If I’m just sitting around, I’m probably reading. (2)Writing. Expression. Capturing a moment or feeling forever. Being able to communicate that to someone else, although I don’t often share my writing. I once won scholarships and other awards, but my writing is primarily for me. (3)Art. It’s just expressive. I love colors. I like the “fiddly” nature of it, trying to get things exact, perfecting a skill. (4) I used to collect stamps and coins but haven’t added to them in a few years. It’s another “fiddly” thing. I liked organizing them. Searching and purchasing, getting them, looking them up and categorizing them, seeing my collection grow. (5)Gardening probably. I’m not a huge fan the hard work and getting sweaty and dirty, but I get a lot of satisfaction in seeing things grow and every year my patio ends up full of lush plants.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses? - I learn most things by reading. Some things like art, I need to be able to watch someone do them. I’m TERRIBLE with listening. If I’m listening to a lecture, I can only really process it by taking copious notes - the process of converting all that auditory information into written words helps me to focus. I’m good at memorization but memorizing isn’t KNOWING really. I enjoy learning in a group where there is discussion and free flow of ideas and debate, bouncing ideas off each other.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go? When faced with a big task, I’m going to see a HUGE overwhelming thing. I’m great at organizing, so I can eventually get it all broken down and make up nice charts and graphs and indexes. But my first thought is...run! Hide!
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally? Professionally in a hiatus. Not really sure what I want. Personally - Break out of my shell more. Take some risks, not let fear or indecision rob me, not always play it safe.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why? Fears: abandonment, never finding a place I “belong”, never getting my s*% together. Uncomfortable: anger - whether it’s outbursts or undercurrents. (I actually hate this But I understand some anger is constructive, reasonable, justified.). Don’t like uncertainty. Hate: intolerance, hatefulness, cruelty.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like? - Feeling passionately about something or someone. Confident, Bubbling over, somewhat hyper and scattered. Energetic, making plans. Very “wordy” 😁 talkative both vocally and in text.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like? - Hellish. Hopeless. Overwhelmed. Paralyzed with indecision about everything. Very conscious of how others might judge me so I isolate, not wanting to burden people, not wanting them to worry. Brain churning, heart pounding, gut clenching. Trying to numb myself and not think or feel. Sucking at it. Just bad.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so? - I can be hyper aware of my surroundings, really noticing all the details...how things sound or smell. Sometimes this is not intentional and feels overwhelming. Other times, it is purposeful and I’m exploring and noticing it all in a good, curious way. I don’t know how I’d describe daydreaming though - it’s more just letting my thoughts go and multitasking. Going through the motions of what I’m doing while simultaneously thinking of something else...or I’m pondering a conversation I had (or am going to have) and thinking what I should have said or will say. Thinking of places I’d like to go on vacation, thinking of something I have planned that’s coming up. Not fanciful things, more realistic things and plans. Not lthe stereotypical “One day my prince will come” or “One day I’m going to have a mansion.”
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about? - A million things. Multitasking brain just like always. I don’t care that I’m alone. I don’t care that it’s blank. I’m not worried about why or how long. My mind is plenty busy and full of other details or interesting things to contemplate.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it? - Impossibly long! I feel like I need to consider every angle. I want to sort out my feelings first and google the heck out of it. I want to know the facts, I want to know the opinions, I want to read the reviews. In short, I want to make a perfect decision. I don’t want to make a mistake. I don’t want to feel pain or regret. I don’t want any negative consequences. I’ll be aware of how different decisions would affect other people. I don’t know that my mind is ever 100% made up to the point that someone questioning me or throwing another opinion or fact in wouldn’t make me feel like I needed to evaluate the whole ball of wax over again.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life? - Again, endless. There’s my visceral reaction which is instant. But the mulling it over can be an eternal process. I’m trying to see it from other sides. I’m having this long internal dialogue with myself. I’m playing devils advocate, I’m wondering why I had such a strong reaction, I’m applying some logic, I’m just sitting and feeling...trying to get a bead on EXACTLY what I’m feeling, to nail it down, to describe it and find the right words for it. I may end up writing it all out, stream of conscious like for pages and pages before I feel I understand all of the nuances of the thing. Emotions are very important to me. I like intensity of emotion. I like things to move me deeply.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why? - Not really agree, but just not make it a point to voice my disagreement always. For a combination of reasons. There’s rarely just one right answer or opinion. If things get confrontational, walls go up while everyone defends their position. I want to hear what else they have to say. There may be lots of stuff we agree on. And factoring in huge is just that I like peace. I don’t see the sense in sparring over things that don’t matter. If it DOES matter, I’m going to disagree in a polite way that makes it clear that Im not attacking or discounting them. Very unlikely to use a “You’re wrong!” approach.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why? - Not much of a rule breaker. If I think a rule is not right I’d approach it more from the angle of starting a discussion. “Why? Can you explain? But what about _?” Sure, I’ve broken some rules, especially growing up. But in general, rules are just part of life. Some you get to grumble about, some you fight to change. But if people disregarded any rules they didn’t agree with? Chaotic. But nobody owns truth. I think rules should be evaluated and questioned. Rules exist FOR society. Society is fluid, rules need to evolve.
Submitted June 23, 2019 at 11:41AM by justM3c http://bit.ly/2ZMjjQN
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