Wrote this blurb a while back and hope my sharing might be helpful to others:
I’ve always been passionate about volunteering and getting involved in an effort to give back to the community. One summer in college, I thought it'd be nice to volunteer at a hospital. I worked at the front desk where I signed in the visitors. Most people were nice and the position was pleasant. The security guards stopped by to check in on me quite regularly, I figured that was part of their job. I didn't have anything in common with them, but I was polite, because that’s how you behave in a professional setting.
One day, the volunteer coordinator called me into her office. She reprimanded me for causing problems at the hospital. Apparently, my mere existence was too distracting for the security guards. She accused me of dressing provocatively (in the uniform that SHE had assigned me) and blamed me for THEIR failure to do their jobs.
My uniform was a collared button-up shirt. I don’t typically wear button-up shirts because I end up with gaps between the buttons. It’s obvious this type of professional attire wasn't designed with full figured women in mind. Yet, I had no choice in the matter, so I always wore a tank top underneath. I don’t know what else she expected me to do beyond some form of body modification.
I remember crying that day, it felt like I'd been punched in the stomach, and I never went back to that volunteer job again. Perhaps the hurt extended from the trauma I'd experienced in high school, where I was removed from my classes on a regular basis. Sometimes, they sent me home, while other times they forced me to wear an oversized Coca-Cola t-shirt like some kind of scarlet letter.
For the first half of high school, my mom was responsible for most of my clothing. I hate shopping because nothing fits, but my mom has truly mastered the art of shopping. I wish she still shopped for my clothes to this day because sometimes I’m at a loss on how to dress myself. Anyway, she always encouraged me to wear nice business casual attire from stores like The Limited and Express because she wanted me to learn how to make a good impression. While fourteen year old me would have rather shopped at Hot Topic, my mom didn’t want me to "look like a slob".
Well, wouldn't you know. Women’s business casual clothes are typically fitted. Every time I showed up for school wearing a dress shirt or a blouse (or pretty much anything that wasn’t a baggy t-shirt or sweatshirt), I’d get reprimanded by the female administrators like it was their obsession. They’d literally seek me out, pull me out of class and look me up and down. Then, they’d tell me that I looked “inappropriate” without providing any further explanation.
I remember - on multiple occasions - seeing other girls at school wearing the exact same shirts I'd been told were “inappropriate”. I began to think my body was the problem; it made me feel dysmorphic, like I’d developed into some kind of monster. For goodness sake, I was 14/15 years old! Do you have any idea how fragile a girl’s body image is at that age? I was already insecure because my body was rapidly changing and I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. Puberty is hard enough without being thrown through the wringer by a bunch of middle aged women keen on provocation and abusing their power.
Shout out goes to my mom, who recognized what was happening and responded with action. She knew I wasn’t breaking the dress code. She was a total helicopter parent and had to approve of my outfits before I left the house. My mom fought the administration tooth over nail and appealed to the school board on my behalf, criticizing them for taking me away from studies. All grown women should be advocating for younger women like this to unite against all forms of discrimination.
The body shaming I endured from administrators had a negative impact on my wellbeing and sense of self while coming of age, perhaps more so than I'd previously acknowledged. As the harassment escalated, I developed behavioral problems, anxiety and depression. I began associating being in public with being publicly scrutinized. It took years to heal and accept that my body and mind are equally beautiful. I’m not perfect, but I’m definitely unique. More importantly, I’m better than the women who body shamed me in my youth because I RESPECT other women for their unique minds AND their bodies.
To the grown women who body shame young women: GET BENT. I’m sorry you’re lives are so pathetically miserable that you need to project your insecurities on emotionally frail and un-empowered young women. They must be an easy target, am I right? Hate your life? Why not perpetuate the cycle of misogyny?! Stop obsessing over the appearance of other women's bodies and start inspiring them to study, excel and achieve!
As for the institutions who facilitate this behavior: SHAME ON YOU, TOO!! There’s no benefit to having antagonizers in educational/managerial positions. Implement safeguards to curb blame shifting and emotional abuse, especially that which is directed at the vulnerable young women who are powerless to stand up to their superiors.
Schools and hospitals should be places where women feel safe, not places where they’re subjected to sexual harassment. Thanks for reading.
Submitted June 26, 2019 at 06:55PM by oimebaby https://ift.tt/2Fy0bOC
No comments:
Post a Comment