So I just want to say that I’m no perfect kid I was a horrible kid who put my parents through a lot and I understand that but some of the things they did is terrible for a kid and has left a lot of trauma I don’t know if I’ll be able to fit all of it in here but take going to be long so I’m going to put my dad in another post
So my mom and dad divorced when I was young maybe 1 or 2 and they were terrible for each other they both would get violent with each other often or that’s what I’m told and they divorced my mom has struggled a lot with her mental illness she’s bipolar and has dealt with anorexia caused by trauma of her own she remarried again for the 4th time to my step dad and I never really liked him he was decent guy but something felt off he would get in my face a lot and yell until he was red he once whipped me so hard on my ass that I had marks for weeks and even showed my grandma and she and my dad wanted to press chargers but decided not to I was super sick so attention was always on me then all of the sudden in the span of 2 years I had 3 sister 2 by my mom & stepdad and one by my dad and ex drug addict girlfriend my dad kind of dipped out of my life and started using drugs with his girlfriend who was pregnant my sister was born and she was blue and addicted to coke but she survived no side affects my dad got custody and moved out of state so I didn’t see him often and I was left with my mom she changed she used to be loving but she became meaner slapping me hard in the face often when I messed up even the slightest
When I was 13 I was being bullied badly I would go to school and be teased and taunted by the bullies and then go home and be yelled at over the stupidest things but it didn’t get violent until years later I did start self harming and when my mom found out she sent me to my first physiatrist hospital where I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety that’s it I went to another one a few years later and I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 I went 6 in total during the span of 7 years
My mom also bipolar got angrier she started slapping me around and beating me to the point where I had Bruises and even a bloody nose but she made sure never to touch my Face my anxiety got worse and worse and I was hurting myself more and more I got fed up and one time when she was beating me after begging her to please stop I grabbed her and pushed her off of me and she came back and starting hitting me again so I drug my nails into her making marks cps was called when I told my choir teacher she Saw that I was hurting and asked me what was wrong and I told her what was happening she took my moms side I was just a troubled kid
I lived with my stepdad and my mom until I was 17 after my stepdad and I got into a huge argument where he told me that I’d never be Amount to anything and I’ll be in a mental hospital my whole life and to get away from him I slammed the bowl in my hand and walked over the glass barefoot to get away him still screaming at me I walked out of the house to get fresh air and he dragged me inside by my hood scratching my back so bad I couldn’t walk the Next day ,he tried to apologize and hug me but I quickly backed up and he took me to my dads my dad was pissed and wanted to press charges but I begged him not to I regret that choice I have been in that situation where they are yelling at me and at times I fear for my life
I moved in with my dad but that was just as bad I ended up trying to kill Myself my dad after calling me a fucking dumbass took me to the hospital and I was admitted after moving with my mom again it went the same way at this time I was going to a ged school because I could not finish school because my anxiety was so bad and me and my mom would get physical often and My stepdad would act like he is an all righteous person oh and when I didn’t want to go to church I was yelled at the yelling was so often and so bad that now if anyone around me is being yelled at I will start crying because it just scares me so much I let my mom hit me for 17 years and I had enough so I fought back after the incident with him dragging me into the house I couldn’t walk correctly for weeks when he was yelling at me I thought he would hit me he would always take his anger out on me when he had a bad day but my mom is always the worst she just lost that motherly feeling towards me and it was their for my sisters I would often be ignored when talking and sometimes I would go into the kitchen to see if they had made dinner and they had already eaten and they put it up like they forgot about me Oh and When my mom asked if I wanted anything in Walmart in the art section and I grabbed a notebook and she said I couldn’t get it and I said ok whatever I put it back and she pulled me hair back my head went far back because I had an attitude maybe I did but who does that to a kid and I told her I was sexually abused as a kid she didn’t say anything and said ok and went on with what she was doing
My mom is very passive aggressive person she would say hateful and manipulative things to make me feel guilty and she and my stepdad would say that them hitting me was discipline and now I live with my dad who though not often physically abusive is very verbally abusive and so is my little sister and sometimes I don’t know if I what to do I hate going to my moms and maybe it was all my fault but idk who would treat their kid that way and as cliche as it is I’m scared I’ll end up like my parents I go to my moms sometimes but everytime I’m over their she is very cold and hateful and even her own mom (my grandma) sees this and told me she was never a very loving and motherly person what really hurts though is when she first married my step dad when he was yelling at me over stupid stuff she would defend me but the longer the marriage the less she did it they only reason I go to my moms is for my sisters but I even told them that I don’t want to be their anymore and the littlest gets treated the same way (without the hitting thankfully ) so I worry about her
(I might make a post about my dad and the stuff he’s done but I don’t know ) thanks for letting me rant maybe I’m being overdramatic idk I also kept a lot put for protection of privacy but my life is full of these kind of people
Submitted June 09, 2019 at 04:37AM by SlytherinTrekki http://bit.ly/2KI3YMy
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