I've known this girl since the start of the academic year, so for about 3 months now. We talk often and I would consider her to be a good friend of mine. Despite this, my friends think that she's flirting with me and wants to take our relationship further.
Just a little bit of background info. We both attend the same university in Australia, although I am in a liberal arts degree and she is in a commerce degree. This girl is very outgoing and extroverted in that she enjoys talking to many people, including strangers, but not in a 'likes to go out to the clubs often' type of outgoing. I'm really the only one in my friendship group (4 girls, 3 guys) that's close to her but she is part of a wider group of friends, if that makes sense. What touch barrier that may have existed when we first met is gone by now. As a result, she is very comfortable around me, perhaps this comfort is being misread as flirting by my friends?
They point out a few examples, of which they have seen firsthand or have heard me talking about, in which they believe that she was flirting with me
- During a horror film, that we were watching as a group, she held my hand during tense moments/jumpscares. Nothing special – we had held hands before at this point – but what stood out to my friends was that we held hands with our fingers interlocked.
- On a particularly cold winter day, she held my cheeks in order to warm her hands up
- When I was talking about how I had taken the genetic short straw (I have longsightedness and require glasses, my siblings do not) she thought I was talking about my eye colour and said something to the tune of 'in terms of physical looks, your eyes some of the best I've ever seen'
- At an AGM that we had for the club that we are a part of, I was sitting next to her and she laid her head on my shoulder for a minute or so during an especially boring speech.
- We had an event for a student club that we are a part of. When I walked past her on the dance floor in order to grab a drink, she grabbed my arm and yanked me toward her so that I would be forced into dancing with her. She held my hand while dancing at times and would face me if I walked through. At the end of the night, I asked her if she was coming to a friend's 21st that was in a few days time. She said that she would see me there.
- At my friend's 21st, she spent basically 90% of her time spent there with me. She, again, danced with me on the dance floor and held my hand at times - she would initiate contact. We also talked extensively throughout the night.
- She also got a buy one get one free drink card, gave it to me and had me buy her a drink
- I also caught an taxi back to her place on both occasions and then walked home, as I live around 1.5km away from her. When I asked her about paying her back, she told me to buy her a coffee some time and not bother.
- She has asked to study with me despite being in completely different courses and not having any subjects in common. I'm horrid at maths and would be no use but she still enjoys my company
- She has invited me over to her house a few times, I had declined all but one of the invitations as it was pretty late in the night on a working day
Thing is, there's significant evidence, in my opinion, that would thwart any talk of her trying to flirt with me.
- She has called me 'mate', especially when having heated discussions about politics etc.
- She has said something to the tune of 'we shall see, my friend', emphasis on 'friend'
- She has said 'thanks for being a legend'
- She's talked about how she grab's friend's faces when she's cold in order to warm her hands up, prior to the incident in front of my friends
- She doesn't treat me much differently when compared with other guys. She held hands and danced with other guys at the event we went to, although, admittedly, not as often as she had with me
- She doesn't text me often, most of my chats with her have been 'hope you get home safe' chats, although she has admitted to preferring human interaction over online interaction
- Perhaps the nail in the coffin for my friend's theory is that she has said I was like a brother to her in that she makes the same jokes about my low job prospects as a liberal arts student with her sister, who is also a liberal arts student and therefore that would make me her brother.
I'm fine with being just friends, but would not mind taking our relationship to the next level. Although I don't think I have the guts to pursue her – unless she straight up tells me that she's into me – because I don't want to ruin, or otherwise make awkward, the friendship that I have built over the past 3 months.
I know the way every person flirts is different and is very easy to overthink people's actions but what do you guys think? Are my friends correct? I personally believe that she's just very comfortable around me and sees me as a good friend.
Submitted June 09, 2019 at 06:13PM by thelongesttime121212 http://bit.ly/2XBQQwa
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