I got dumped bad.

I've been with this girl for a year and two months. We had a rough start considering the way we started it off; I left my girlfriend (crushed on for 9 years and dated for 2.5 years) for her and I carried a lot of baggage from that relationship. Instead of building a foundation/friendship first, we were too crazy about each other that we started dating right away. That caused many arguments and fights. Outings left a bitter taste in our mouths, date nights ended in fights, verbal abuse on her end and raising my voice on my end as a reaction. It was toxic, but there were many, many good times. We were on and off for almost the entirety of the relationship. There were times when she mocked me for my anxiety and how my body chooses to react when I'm anxious. She'd invalidate my emotions by claiming that I am immature in the way I overreact to things. We slowly started doing things together less and less. Gradually, she stopped coming over every day. We stopped playing Overwatch. We stopped doing our hair/nails together. We stopped calling each other every day.

Overall, she was not the best partner and I cannot say that I was a breeze either. But you guys, for the past 6 months, I've been grinding at self progression. I am close to quitting smoking weed, I'm picking up exercising, I'm writing again, I'm giving her the space she needs, I'm loading off my negativity in different ways, I'm working on graduating so I can leave the country. I was saving up for a ring to propose to her all the while, I neglected myself to take care of her. I stopped buying new video games, going to the gym or art classes just so that I can have more to take care of her.

We always fought for each other until she stopped. Today. I had a conversation with her last night about how far apart we've drifted and I've been making an effort to change our routine since we barely do anything together, but that effort needs to be two sided, I wanted to know her side of the story. She said that I left a bitter taste in her mouth and she can't do the things we used to do anymore despite my progress. I'm crazy about her. Just last night, I asked her, "If I got down on one knee and asked you to marry me, would you?". She replied with, "you know I would".

Today, she dumped me. Saying that despite my progress, she doesn't want me anymore. And her constant anger attacks, verbal abuse, lack of effort, were just desperate cries to leave the relationship without me "making a scene". She cut me off and I never got to have a say. I don't know if I deserve this kind of disrespect. Did I do this?

Submitted June 12, 2019 at 04:15AM by CedingDysphoria http://bit.ly/2wPkxy4