Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Being a creative "entrepreneur" is like walking in a landmine field hoping nothing will explode

I've been running a creative design business for a few months now, both out of passion and cos it earns money.

Every job is something new and there's no one I can consult. So I just take it on, do the best I can and cross my fingers hoping it'll go well. How do I price it? I just throw out a goddamn number that involves "calculating my hours" at an inflated price. You ask any "mentor" and they'll tell you the same thing. You need a mural painted? A one-off commission? A workshop for 20 adults or 20 kids? I take it on, "calculate" my wages and materials and throw you a figure. I hire people to teach what I can't. That painting I displayed in a gallery? It was my first goddamn large work and I just googled some reference pics and painted what I felt like.

I'm incredibly lucky, luckier than my art school friends who had to move on to other industries. But I also feel like I took on too much in order to make a living and if I stop, the ride will stop and I'll get thrown off.

No matter how many times people tell me my work is great, I listen to them with a hint of disbelief. I have a f**king workshop for adults coming up and I've never taught design before, and I'm prepping to pitch an idea to some bunch of investors but f**k me I feel like it's all going to explode in front of my face.

My nails are kinda worn-down from being nibbled on, and I have anxiety issues thinking of how much prep work I've to do in order to get away with it. There's so much uncertainty in my life and I just want to run away from it all. I'm scared and overwhelmed.



Submitted May 21, 2019 at 11:57AM by movingalongthrowaway http://bit.ly/2QgkELX

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