Preface: This is a documentation of my daily life while abstaining from pornography, masturbation, and orgasm (also known as "PMO") for a minimum length of 30 days.
Why I'm doing this: I had a polite discussion with a semen retention advocate about if there really was any benefits to not ejaculating, since I personally disagree with the claims. He said I should try it for myself, so I will. My hypothesis is that semen retention should NOT have any benefits over masturbating in moderation WITHOUT PORN and/or a healthy, moderate sex life.
So I made this journal, initially trying to clinically evaluate if SR/NoFap is real, but after a few days I realized it couldn't be done. There is nothing clinical, scientific or objective about it. I have been a part of these communities for too long not to have prior expectations.
So take this as nothing but a simple bullet journal, which is something I've been wanting to incorporate anyway.
About me
- Age: 19
- Sexually Active: Not at all
- Longest no PMO streak: ~70 days
- Orientation: Heterosexual
- (Productive) hobbies: Lifting, boxing, music production
- Occupation: Engineering Student (on a bit of a transitional period so I don't have much on my plate at all)
- Religion: I do NOT believe in the metaphysical. Not in chakras, the soul, high/low vibrations, God or "life-force." I do believe in "bio-energy" but from a pure psychological and physiological perspective.
- What got me into r/nofap and r/pornfree: I suffered from erectile dysfunction twice. It kept me from losing my virginity and completely fucked up my social life. Looking back, there where a number of factors that could've caused it both times: alcohol, lack of sleep, and just me being nervous. But I can't deny PMO could have been a factor. It would be fair to say I would had way better chances if I had never PMOed in my life. At the very least, this led me to the ever-increasing self-improvement trend. I used to lift weights before, but since then I improved my diet, started meditating, martial arts, fasting, mewing, quitted porn (for the most part), etc., etc. I'm the cliché self-improvement guy I guess. I watch a lot of videos about these topics.
- What I'm trying to incorporate alongside SR that I haven't yet: cold showers, falling asleep/waking up earlier (22:00/7:00 is my goal), and, inherently, daily logs. I'd also like to become more social. It's a sad truth, but my ED experiences have made me much more shut off to socialize, as I've been afraid and embarrassed for a long time, and completely fucked my confidence. My life, honestly. It's something I need to face head on!
These are the main points:
- Overall Mood: Simply how happy I feel
- Energy: How energized I feel
- Productivity: How productive I was during the day. Or did I watch nothing but YT vids?
- Horniness: How... you know.
- Urges: Mainly to masturbate. Could be to watch porn too.
- Attraction: Did I notice women noticing me? This is a tricky one. The cheesy "im four days into nofap and a girl made eye contact with me on the bus, relapsed and now im ugly." Yeah buddy, not really.
- Lifting: How good was my lifting session. This can be influenced by outside factors too!
- Boxing: How good was my boxing session. Did I knock out every one or got my ass kicked?
- Meditation: My meditation session length and quality
- Sleep: Time I went to sleep and woke up; quantity and quality
- Cold showers: Did I do them? How long? Or did I go for a warm shower?
First MealEating Window: Time of day of my first and last bite
- Calories: I don't really count calories but I can estimate High, Moderate or Low. I'm trying to eat at a caloric deficit.
- Sugar: Same as above (my processed sugar intake, not my blood sugar or anything like that)
- Wet Dreams/Night Emissions: Wet dreams are simply dreams about sex. Night emissions is if I ejaculate during the night. This are two independent yet obviously related things.
- Weight: I weigh myself almost every morning after going to the bathroom
- Log: Just a few remarks about my day and my thoughts
I will probably update this post multiple times a day through edits. I will add weekly conclusions/observations as well.
Feel free to comment any other point I should log or what other ways I should journal, all feedback is welcomed.
Day 0
Overall Mood: 5/10
Energy: 5/10, had to take my very first powernap before boxing (15 min)
Productivity: 6/10
Horniness: 5/10
Urges: 9/10
Boxing: 6/10, hadn't boxed in more than two weeks, got punched in the gut.
Meditation: Didn't meditate! :(
Sleep: can't remember, only that it was of bad quality and I think I overslept
Cold showers: First actual cold shower. Quite short
First Meal: 15:00
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: Moderate
Log: As of today, I hadn't masturbated in 8 days or watched porn in 29 days. At 6 PM I went to boxing class, which I hadn't for a couple of weeks. Was really nervous because it was my first sparring session in a while. Fought this big southpaw. Was doing well, landed multiple jabs and a couple of crosses, but then I received a big ass uppercut to the stomach that left me out. I lost. But still, I was happy because... honestly it was fun, I've missed it. Got home, walked my dog, went to the bathroom. Decided to masturbate. Did two in a row. It was quick, like a minute each? The first nut was very thick and yellowish, common when I go for longer than 4 days without busting. Then I took my very first, proper cold shower. It sucked, but it was fun at the same time. I went on Reddit and spoke with some Redditors about semen retention. I discussed my beliefs about SR, politely. I decided to take the challenge and make this documentary.
Day 1 (15/3/19)
Overall Mood: 7/10
Energy: 7/10
Productivity: 7/10, watched many YT vids but still got shit done
Horniness: 7/10
Urges: 5/10 (and a tiny bit of urges to watch porn too, but very tiny)
Attraction: 5/10
Lifting: 6/10, had to share rack, couldn't train neck, but I felt strong
Meditation: 7 minutes, ok quality. I need to work on my posture and keep my eyes slightly open I believe
Sleep: 23-8:30 - ok quality (7/10), I think I overslept
Cold showers: Second cold shower. A bit longer
First Meal: 15.00
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: Low, had fruit instead of junk food
Log: Woke up, feeling groggy again. This has been a common theme these last couple of weeks. It's possible I'm oversleeping; I have no college until April 1st. I quickly felt more energized, however. Made a nice music video for one of my beats. Went to the gym. Uploaded the beat. My gut still hurts from yesterday's punch. Started organizing this diary, which is keeping me up a bit late, it's 23:31, I shouldn't be on my computer.
Day 2
Overall Mood: 5/10
Energy: 6/10
Productivity: 7/10
Horniness: 4/10
Urges: 5/10
Attraction: 4/10
Meditation: 7 min 4/10
Sleep: 00:30-9:30 - ok quality (7/10)
Cold showers: didn't shower, don't judge me
First Meal: 14:30
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: Quite high, really craved it today.
Weight: 76.5kg
Log: Woke up feeling slightly sluggish but much better than the last few days. My stomach still hurts a bit, dammit. Started formatting this diary. Drove my dad to a couple of markets to do some shopping. I don't have a driver's license yet, but I think I'm ready. I drove pretty well today. Came home, washed my mom's car, ate lunch. Procrastinated a bunch afterward. Tried to make a song I have in my head but I can't seem to nail the chord progression
Day 3
Overall Mood: 6/10
Energy: 7/10
Productivity: 7/10
Horniness: 4/10
Urges: 7/10 (wanted to watch porn)
Attraction: 6/10
Meditation: 8:30 min 6/10 pretty ok session
Sleep: 00:00 - 8:40 (6/10) woke up during the night
Cold showers: ill shower tomorrow I swear
First Meal: 14:30 (had gum at 12:15, I think it had sugar so...)
Calories: High (bcuz of junk food)
Sugar: Low
Weight: 76.5kg
Log: Woke up not as groggy. Drove my dad to several places today. Fucked up a couple times but overall I drove ok. Tried hard mewing for the first time (squishing a piece of gum up the roof of my mouth.) We had fast food for lunch tho. Came home, made some progress on a song. Watched a couple hours of YouTube. Had the opportunity to go to sleep early but kinda fucked that up.
Day 4
Overall Mood: 7/10
Energy: 6/10
Productivity: 5/10
Horniness: 6/10
Urges: 7/10
Attraction: 6/10
Lifting: 6/10 (zoned out and forgot how many sets I had left, then a dude took my rack)
Meditation: 9:30 min 6/10 (bettered my posture)
Sleep: 00:00 - 9:30 (6/10) didn't actually sleep 9 hours and a half as I woke up a couple times
Cold showers: yes, and I felt more comfortable
Eating Window: 15:15 to 21:40
Calories: Low
Sugar: High (a couple of yogurts)
Weight: 75.9kg
Log: I still wake up tired. Maybe skipping breakfast doesn't help, but I think I have sleep apnea? Felt the day was really short and unproductive, tho I've had worse. Made some music, hit the gym, watched YT. If it wasn't for this log I would've normally masturbated today. But it's true what they say, cold showers really kill any urges.
Day 5
Overall Mood: 5/10
Energy: 7/10
Productivity: 5/10
Horniness: 4/10
Urges: 4/10
Attraction: 5/10
Boxing: 6/10
Meditation: 5/10 5 min
Sleep: 23:00 - 9:00 7/10 (woke up a couple of times during the night but I feel rested)
Cold showers: It was short and awful, it's cold outside today
Eating Window: 15:35 to 23:15
Calories: Low
Sugar: Moderate
Wet Dreams/Night Emissions: Had very vivid dreams last night, one being very sexual, but no emission afaik
Weight: 75.9kg
Log: Woke up feeling quite rested, but not very energetic if that makes sense. Quite an unproductive day. Watched a lot of Netflix and I'm not going to bed early
Day 6
Overall Mood: 6/10
Energy: 7/10
Productivity: 4/10
Horniness: 5/10
Urges: 7/10
Attraction: 4/10
Lifting: 7/10
Meditation: 5 min 3/10 Got interrupted by my dog
Sleep: 00:00 - 8:30 7/10
Cold showers: Almost went for lukewarm cause it's getting cold outside
Eating Window: 15:30 - 22:00
Weight: 76.3kg
Log: I'm writing this the day after since my phone died early last night. I can't remember much about yesterday, only that it sucked and was unproductive. The only positive is that I felt well rested.
Day 7
Overall Mood: 4/10
Energy: 4/10
Productivity: 4/10
Horniness: 3/10
Urges: 5/10
Attraction: 3/10
Boxing: 7/10
Meditation: 4/10 - 3 min
Cold showers: No. I had a warm shower.
Eating Window: 13:30 - 22:00
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: Low
Sleep/Wet Dreams/Night Emissions: Last night was weird. I can't remember when I went to sleep. I remember having a wet dream, but I think there was no emission. It wasn't a good night sleep and I don't feel well rested. It was confusing, let's leave it at that
Log: Last night I was feeling tired af, and a little sick. Didn't really sleep too well. Woke up feeling tired. It might be possible I'm sick right now. Had launch earlier than usual so I could take a power nap. Stayed in bed from 15:00 to 16:00, but I didn't sleep. Rather I dozed off for a few minutes, and it had very little improvement on my energy. I had a 10-sec cold shower, which made me feel great for a couple minutes but any boost in energy quickly faded away. Didn't skip boxing class, which is the only positive of the day. Wasn't at my peak but honestly, it could've been much worse. It might have been a mistake since right now I'm feeling awful. Might meditate for literally only two minutes sitting on a chair. Today has been shit. I hope tomorrow I feel better
Week 1 Conclusion: End of the first week. I feel like shit, regardless of cold showers, daily logs, nofap and all. Looking back, it'd seem I was at my happiest the first few days after masturbating. And just like day 0, a week ago, I happen to be feeling worse. You might be tempted to call it withdraw symptom, but that might be a little too far fetched considering I've only MOed once in the last 15 days, and I haven't PMOed in 38 days. But from now on, it gets interesting.
Day 8
Overall Mood: 5/10
Energy: 7/10
Productivity: 4/10
Horniness: 3/10
Urges: 7/10
Attraction: 4/10
Lifting: 7/10
Meditation: 7/10 10 min
Sleep: 23:00 - 8:30 7/10
Cold showers: No. Hot shower
Eating Window: 14:00 to 22:15
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: High
Weight: 75.9kg
Log: Perhaps boxing wasn't a mistake since I slept very well last night, and woke up quite refreshed. Still, I don't feel my best. It's very probable I'm a little sick. Had a really good gym and meditation session, but besides that today has been very unproductive as well
Day 9
Overall Mood: 6/10
Energy: 7/10
Productivity: 8/10
Horniness: 4/10
Urges: 5/10
Meditation: 8/10 15 min
Sleep: 00:00 - 8:45 8/10
Cold showers: didn't shower
Eating Window: 14:00 to 22:40
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: High
Wet Dreams/Night Emissions: Last night I had a wet dream, and I orgasmed. I think it was a small emission.
Log: I woke up feeling slightly sick again. Because of that, I skipped boxing class. But at least I took my dog for a long walk. However, what I thought was going to be another unproductive day turned out to be the opposite. On the other hand, I'm going to sleep a bit later than I'd like
Day 10
Overall Mood: 7/10
Energy: 6/10
Productivity: 6/10
Horniness: 5/10
Urges: 4/10
Attraction: 6/10
Meditation: 7/10 15 min
Sleep: 01:00 - 9:30 6/10
Cold showers: no shower, again
Eating Window: 12:00 to 21:45
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: Moderate
Wet Dreams: Had a dream where I extremely craved porn and wanted to PMO
Weight: 75.9kg
Log: Today I had to break my fast earlier because I drove my dad to do the groceries but he couldn't stand of my bad breath. Worked on my music today but I wasn't feeling creative. Used back support when meditating. It might not be ideal, but I'm going to stick with it.
Day 11
Overall Mood: 8/10
Energy: 7/10
Productivity: 7/10
Horniness: 4/10
Urges: 3/10
Attraction: 7/10
Lifting: 8/10
Meditation: 6/10 15 min
Sleep: 00:00 - 8:20 5/10
Cold showers: Yes, it was nice
Eating Window: 14:00 to 22:10
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: Moderate
Wet Dreams: Pretty sure I dreamt about girls again
Weight: 75.9kg
Log: Went to bed early last night but I couldn't fall asleep for about an hour and a half, and woke up multiple times during the night. Despite feeling tired, today I was quite productive and energetic: made some music and had a nice workout.
Day 12
Overall Mood: 8/10
Energy: 8/10
Productivity: 7/10
Horniness: 5/10
Urges: 5/10
Attraction: 7/10
Boxing: 9/10
Meditation: 8/10 15 min
Sleep: 23:30 - 8:00 5/10
Cold showers: Yes, but short and awful
Eating Window: 15:45 to 22:30
Calories: High
Sugar: Moderate
Weight: 76.1kg
Log: Even though today I wasn't terribly productive and I didn't sleep very well, I had the best boxing session in a while. My energy was through the roof, and I pushed myself to the limits.
Day 13
Overall Mood: 6/10
Energy: 7/10
Productivity: 6/10
Horniness: 3/10
Urges: 4/10
Attraction: 6/10
Lifting: 6/10
Meditation: X/10
Sleep: 23:00 - 8:30 8/10
Cold showers: Yes. I hated it
Eating Window: 15:00 to 22:15
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: Moderate
Log: So today I actually lost strength, meaning not only did I not progress on my lifts, but I went backward a few reps. My meditation was also shitty
Day 14
Overall Mood: 6/10
Energy: 7/10
Productivity: 5/10
Horniness: 5/10
Urges: 7/10
Attraction: 7/10
Boxing: 9/10
Meditation: 4/10 (5 min)
Sleep: 23:00 - 9:00 7/10
Cold showers: Enjoyed it a bit more
Eating Window: 15:15 to 22:30
Calories: Low
Sugar: Low
Wet Dreams: Had dreams about girls, sex and erections. Weird shit
Weight: 76.1kg
Log: I worked on a couple songs but I'm not very motivated to make music. My meditation was also short and shit. On the plus side, I had another amazing sparring session and a better cold shower. It should be noted that today I was told I looked energized and hyped up
Week 2 Conclusion: This week felt shorter. My urges are somewhat down and so is my sex drive it seems. I don't really get horny when I look at women in the street or the gym. However, I'm very horny when I'm in bed before falling asleep and after waking up, and while I don't think I'm having night emissions, I seem to be having a lot more (wet) dreams about sex, girls and erections. I guess this diary has something to do with it, and I think it could be a good thing: perhaps my mind trying to work through my "ED trauma" because I'm not ejaculating
When it comes to my energy, I feel I have made some minor improvements, which might be caused by some fixes in my sleep schedule. My meditation sessions are not great and neither is my music creation. The only thing that has considerably improved was my boxing sparring this last Tuesday and Thursday. I guess all the boxing legends that did SR might have been onto something.
On the other hand, I'm irritable, angrier and I find myself going full caveman when things don't go my way. Long story short I might simply be sexually frustrated. I feel cold showers have helped with urges and, well, cooling me down. However, due to different reasons, I might switch to lukewarm showers, especially if I shower closer to my bedtime
And I'm no longer adding the 'attraction' bullet point. It was based on how many girls looked at me, I guess? It's stupid.
Day 15
Overall Mood: 6/10
Energy: 6/10
Productivity: 5/10
Horniness: 4/10
Urges: 7/10
Lifting: 7/10
Meditation: 5/10 5 min
Cold showers: Yes. Almost didn't
Eating Window: 14:00 to 23:00
Calories: High
Sugar: High
Weight: 76.1kg
Log: I kinda forgot to log this day. But it was pretty uneventful I think
Day 16
Overall Mood: 4/10
Energy: 4/10
Productivity: 7/10
Horniness: 3/10
Urges: 8/10
Meditation: 7/10 10 min
Sleep: 1:00 - 9:00 6/10
Eating Window: 15:50 to 22:30
Calories: High
Sugar: VERY HIGH
Log: Had a lot of sugar today. Felt tired. Uneventful day, and didn't really log anything, again.
Day 17
Overall Mood: 5/10
Energy: 8/10
Productivity: 7/10
Horniness: 5/10
Urges: 7/10
Meditation: 5/10 14 min
Sleep: 00:30 - 9:30 8/10
Eating Window: 17:50 to 22:00
Calories: Low
Sugar: Low
Weight: 75.9kg
Log: I'm back on track. Slept well last night, ate healthily, fasted longer and got a few things done. However, I'm feeling angry and sad, though I'm proud of my discipline
Day 18
Overall Mood: 7/10
Energy: 8/10
Productivity: 6/10
Horniness: 8/10
Urges: 7/10
Lifting: 9/10
Meditation: 2/10 5 min (but not really)
Sleep: 00:00 - 9:00 8/10
Eating Window: 14:00 to 22:30
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: High
Weight: 76.1kg
Log: I think my sex drive is back. Had a good workout and made some music, but I slipped with my sugar intake again. Bad meditation session, too.
Day 19
Overall Mood: 5/10
Energy: 5/10
Productivity: 4/10
Horniness: 7/10
Urges: 6/10
Meditation: 5/10 5 min
Sleep: 00:30 - 9:00 8/10
Eating Window: 15:00 to 23:00
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: Moderate
Wet Dreams/Night Emissions: Had a dream about ED and asking Elliot Hulse for advice
Log: I think I forgot to weigh myself, which has been happening often. I binged watched a lot of Netflix and didn't make music even though I should have. Played a game of soccer, where I didn't perform very well. Today I felt quite horny at times and very aggressive, yet sad and depressed (I guess that's called 'frustration')
Day 20
Overall Mood: 6/10
Energy: 6/10
Productivity: 5/10
Horniness: 9/10
Urges: 9/10
Lifting: 7/10
Meditation: 7/10 15 min (only positive of the day)
Sleep: 01:15 - 8:00 7/10
Eating Window: 14:30 to 22:30
Calories: Low
Sugar: Low
Wet Dreams: Had a strange and disgusting dream. I was walking home when a crazy old lady (she didn't look like an actual human though) asked for my help with something. At first, I ignored her, but then I realized she could jack me off. I pretended to help her kids but I just wanted to get in the bathroom with her and have her masturbate me. I was really desperate for it. Then I "woke up," and found myself in the shower looking at my dick, with an extreme urge to masturbate, but realizing that I couldn't
Log: Today was my first class of a college pre-course and I started reading for fun. Went to the gym afterward. I lost strength in one my main lifts, but still progressed on another. Came home and tried to make some music but I couldn't get inspired. Honestly, I blame my balls. I literally feel like I'm going to explode. My dick is very sensitive and I've felt hornier today than ever in my entire life. It's annoying as hell. I feel like I'm going to have a night emission today. Matter of fact, I HOPE I do. My balls hurt.
Day 21
Overall Mood: 5/10
Energy: 5/10
Productivity: 5/10
Horniness: 6/10
Urges: 6/10
Boxing: 7/10
Meditation: 4/10 9 min
Sleep: 00:15 - 10:15 7/10
Eating Window: 16:15 to 22:15
Calories: Very Low
Sugar: Low
Weight: 76.2kg
Log: Besides boxing, all I did on my free time was watching Netflix and YouTube. I did get a couple thing done but I should've made music all day. I did not. I'm feeling better than yesterday, not as horny or urging to masturbate, but still aggressive and irritable. My sparring session was worse than last week's, but I was still pretty ok. However, I got quite injured during the first round and now I don't know how long it'll take me to recover.
Week 3 Conclusion: This week I've had two alternating moods: aggressive and depressed. I feel miserable. I'm very horny and I'm dying to release. I'm also very impulsive, and I find myself doing things and then asking myself why the hell did I just do that. I'm a sad, sexually frustrated caveman, basically. I can't seem to be inspired to make music either. I don't want to speak about my boxing because I only sparred once this week, but honestly, I want to end this. But I won't, I'll keep going. I'll cut down on my Netflix and my YouTube, see if that helps me with getting better sleep and motivated to make music. Another change is that I won't be meditating for a while; I will switch to yoga/stretching so I can get into a full lotus position and meditate comfortably for long periods of time in the future. And lastly, I seem to be failing to go to sleep and waking up earlier. I should try to revert to doing so.
Day 22
Overall Mood: 7/10
Energy: 7/10
Productivity: 6/10
Horniness: 6/10
Urges: 7/10
Sleep: 00:00 - 8:30 6/10
Eating Window: 14:30 to 21:30
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: Low
Weight: 75.5kg
Log: Today I feel better, luckily. I wasn't very horny at all. I felt pretty ok, yet tired. Read a lot, and really enjoyed it. Drove my dad around a bit, and made a track, but discarded it halfway through. Didn't hit the gym because my ribcage still hurts. However, what really has me worried is the fact that I peed cum. This had happened on my previous long streaks, but never this early.
Day 23
Overall Mood: 6/10
Energy: 8/10
Productivity: 8/10
Horniness: 6/10
Urges: 7/10
Sleep: 00:00 - 9:30 7/10
Eating Window: 15:00 to 22:00
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: Low
Wet Dreams: I had another weird dream, where this cute girl's weird boyfriend (I think he was Jabba the Hutt) accidentally dies and so everyone tried to get into her pants, including me. I tried to act cool but then I just confessed I wanted to fuck her and scared her away. There was no nudity, only the girl wearing underwear
Weight: 75.6kg
Log: I woke up feeling pretty happy but now I'm feeling mellow. Spent most of my day driving my family around. Came home, studied a bit, and then played some football, played much better than last time considering my injury. Had a lot of negative mental chatter throughout the day. Perhaps it's related to the fact I've stopped meditating?
Day 24
Overall Mood: 8/10
Energy: 8/10
Productivity: 8/10
Horniness: 5/10
Urges: 5/10
Sleep: 00:30 - 10:00 8/10
Eating Window: 14:15 to 22:35
Calories: Low
Sugar: Low
Wet Dreams: Had a weird dream where I had a threesome with a female high-school friend with one of my male friends. I can't be sure what happened afterwards. I think I half woke up, disappointed it was just a dream so I hadn't lost my virginity yet, but at the same time I was still dreaming/fantasizing about the girl. This time it was just me fucking her. My half awaken self was thinking of texting her in real life because I was desperate for pussy. My half asleep self was fucking her in different positions, I guess. When I woke up, that crazy horniness was gone, but the boner remained. I think I had a boner half of the time I was asleep
Weight: 76.6kg
Log: Woke up feeling very refreshed. Started working right away, studied a bit, and got shit done. By night time, I finally did the hip stretching/yoga that should replacing my daily sitting meditation. It was a few days overdue. Gotta say it was a good, productive day and I'm quite happy about it. The only thing is that I stayed up later with my phone than I should have
Day 25
Overall Mood: 8/10
Energy: 8/10
Productivity: 8/10
Horniness: 7/10
Urges: 3/10
Lifting: 7/10
Sleep: 00:00 - 8:30 6/10
Eating Window: 14:53 to 23:35
Calories: Low
Sugar: Low
Weight: 75.4kg
Log: Today was a good day. Uneventful, but I felt it was productive, and I feel happy, or at least content. My libido was normal, not too high or too low. My lifts kinda suffered but it could be explained by my injury, which still bothers me.
Day 26
Overall Mood: 7/10
Energy: 8/10
Productivity: 7/10
Horniness: 7/10
Urges: 6/10
Boxing: 7/10
Sleep: 00:00 to 6:30 then 7:30 to 8:30
Eating Window: 14:42 to 22:25
Calories: Low
Sugar: Moderate
Wet Dreams/Night Emissions: Today, at around 6:30 am, I had my first proper night emission during this streak. The dream was strange. In it I recieved a blowjob from an ugly, obese, sick, gold-digging alien woman who practically raped me. But that's not an accurate description because the dream was very weird and not very vivid. I also believe my penis was 90% flacid and it felt more like peeing. Honestly it is possible I peed myself a little, too. Also I think there was another emission prior to the main one that I just described, but my memory is fuzzy. It could be it was pre-cum or a smaller load
Log: Since today I had a night emission, I'll write about my day in a lot of detail. It started at 6:30 am when I woke up with my boxers covered in cum, so I changed these clean boxers to the ones I had used the day before, and went back to sleep. I believe I slept one extra hour before the alarm woke me up again. And I guess I forgot to weigh myself. Or at least to write it down, cant remember. On my way to college I did feel a bit tired and numb, but to my surprise I still managed to pay attention in class pretty well. I should note I did feel more hungry than usual. I got home and while having my first meal, I realised I might be too tired to fight, so I had an hour nap from 15:30 to 16:30. When I woke up I felt worse than before in some ways, but better in others. So I watched some boxing videos, packed my bag and headed to class. I sparred ok. Not my best, but I still felt very quick on my fit. I came home, walked my dog, did some errands, showered. Had a bit of chocolate before bed. Maybe not my brightest idea. I did my stretches and went to bed at 11:15, but I couldn't sleep.
Day 27
Overall Mood: 5/10
Energy: 4/10
Productivity: 5/10
Horniness: 7/10
Urges: 4/10
Lifting: 4/10
Sleep: 2:00 - 8:00 ?? 4/10
Eating Window: 14:11 to 22:41
Calories: Moderate
Sugar: High
Dreams: I had a "wet dream" about eating sugar
Weight: 74.9kg
Log: My sleep schedule got fucked up because of my little nap. Maybe it's not so bad and I just simply slept bi-phasically. I went to college and had problems following along. I came home, ate my meal, and then had a lot of sugar. One, because I wanted to cheat. Two, because I needed the extra boost to hit the gym. My workout was shit, and talking about shit I think I had a bit of diarrhea. I had very little energy in the tank. When I came home I was exhausted, so I decided to take the day off so to speak, and only watched YouTube videos. Didn't even stretch today. I'm leaving all the work for tomorrow.
Day 28
Overall Mood: 8/10
Energy: 6/10
Productivity: 7/10
Horniness: 4/10
Urges: 6/10
Boxing: 8/10
Sleep: 00:00 - 8:30 5/10
Eating Window: 16:02 to 22:57
Calories: Low
Sugar: Low
Wet Dreams: More dreams about sugar, mostly chocolate
Weight: 74.9kg
Log: Today I woke feeling very tired. I got shit together though because I have a lot of work to do. Studied for several hours, though I wasn't very focused. At 4Pm had my first meal, watched some YouTube, and decided to try the wim hof method before boxing since I'm not feeling my best. This was my first proper expirience doing it. Did three rounds and headed to the gym. Sparred pretty well. I got tired quick tho. Overall I do think it had a bit of an improvement in my energy.
Day 29
Overall Mood: 7/10
Energy: 7/10
Productivity: 7/10
Horniness: 7/10
Urges: 6/10
Lifting: 7/10
Sleep: 00:00 - 8:00 7/10
Eating Window: 14:12 to 23:00
Calories: Low
Sugar: Low
Wet Dreams: I think I had a dream about vanilla sex but I can't be sure
Weight: 75.4kg
Log: Although I felt physically well rested, I was mentally tired. I did my best to follow along in class but it was a bit hard. After I came home and ate I head to the gym and it was a fantastic workout, except for the fact I couldn't finish my OHP sets. Came home, did a shit lot of chores and got invited to a night out. I said yes.
Day 30
Overall Mood: 5/10
Energy: 4/10
Productivity: 2/10
Horniness: 3/10
Urges: 3/10
Sleep: 7:00 - 14:12 5/10
Eating Window: just had dinner and dessert nothing else
Calories: Low
Sugar: Very High
Log: Party party party all night. I celebrated my 30 days I guess. Woke up and had a bit of a hung over so I did nothing except walk my dog and watch YouTube. Fasted till dinner. Had sushi and lots of chocolate.
Week 4 Conclusion: During this week I was less horny during the day but during the night had a lot of wet dreams and my first night emission of this streak. I also feel a bit calmer and more grounded. My boxing was better than week three but still worse than week two. I also had a lot of problems sleeping this week, and waking up from the night emission didn't help. On the bright side, I'm starting to be a tad more social, and it showed in me going out for the first time in ages.
One Month Conclusion: It's been a long time since I had a streak this long, maybe only the second or third time actually. During this month, some days I felt happy, energetic, productive, sexually healthy and a great boxer. However, other times I was aggressive, depressed and frustrated, like an orangutan deprived of females, so horny I was in pain, unable to concentrate on anything. So all I can conclude from this little experiment is that journaling is amazing. I can't speak about anything else. Yes, I do feel slightly more grounded now, more attracted to real women, more sociable, even more confident, but it cannot claim that not masturbating was the cause of anything, good or bad. Yet I think it's enough to say: it's worth a try. Perhaps this journal will help anyone following my footsteps at attempting a reboot.
Some things I will change in the future:
- Grounding myself: I stopped meditating because of my posture, or at least that's what I told myself. I need to create an actual daily yoga/stretching and mindfulness meditation routine, and I will look again into the Wim Hof method and cold showers, and Elliot Hussle's bio-energetic drills.
- Going offline: After my night out I had a big realization. This past couple of years I have been replacing social interactions with real friends with witty Reddit comments, basically. I care too much about upvotes and the community's approval. Reddit is a great tool but as a social media it's draining. This will also help grounding myself and with my sleep schedule, which looking back it's fucked up. Which leads to...
- Fixing my sleep schedule: When I used to go to school I had a very regular sleep schedule, at least Monday to Friday. Now I wake up whenever the fuck, but the rest of my family still gets up at 7 am like the rest of the productive human population, and that messes with my sleep. I hope going offline means I can doze off as soon as I go to bed, and wake up at 7 am. I feel like getting a good 8 hours of interrupted sleep will do wonders for me.
- Finding a better way of journaling: Going offline means switching to journaling by hand, possibly. Maybe transcribing it digitally once a week or something. If I do decide to stick with digital journaling, I might want to find an app or something. Reddit is not built for this.
A few other things:
- What I'm thankful for: I'm adding something that I'm thankful for to every entry.
- Reviewing my workout routine and logging every rep of every set (at least the big lifts)
- Dropping shampoo and soap (partially) for a while to see if it helps my hair and skin.
- And, finally, I decided I'll keep my streak going, but I'll try to forget there even is a streak.
Submitted April 20, 2019 at 06:24PM by Jack518 http://bit.ly/2Gxm958
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