I don’t know what it is but I’m feeling especially nostalgic tonight. I think I just realized all my siblings (I’m the youngest) are hitting big milestones in their lives and I myself am nearly halfway through college. I turn 20 in a couple weeks and I want time to just stop. I should feel proud but I just feel overwhelmed and tired.
I’m just thinking about how simple it was when I was in elementary school. My biggest concern was that day’s lunch menu or the mile run. I was in the above average reading group. I remember computer class when we played typing games. Gym class where I was the fastest girl. Art class where we painted. Class field trips. The school store. Early 2000s music. Holiday parties. Field day. Being young and carefree with my siblings, when we all lived together. It’s like it’s all coming back to me at once and I want to cry because of how much I miss those simpler times.
I had anxiety back then but I guess I didn’t realize it so it wasn’t as bad; my anxiety is a part of me now. And I don’t feel like an almost 20 year old. Kids around me are so charismatic and outgoing; they nail interviews and are great at just making small talk. They’ve figured out who they are. And I haven’t. Time has passed me by but I don’t feel any older or mature - I feel like a fraud. I feel like a kid in the shell of an almost 20 year old. And I wish I didn’t.
Submitted April 17, 2019 at 08:20AM by anxietygotmelike http://bit.ly/2ZgmBMH
No comments:
Post a Comment