Hello, everyone.
I just found this sub and I feel like I've finally found a community of people who understands it and knows what it's like, that's really nice.
I've been picking for 10+ years. It started out when I was doing arts and crafts and got glue on my fingers. I let the glue dry and peeled it off and I really liked how it felt so at some point I started doing that to dry skin patches. It's always been on my fingers but since my teen years (I'm 22 now) I've also been picking on my face. Through all my years with this I feel like I've tried everything. I tried wearing gloves, but it gets hot and uncomfortable. I tried having short nails, but I don't like how it looks and feels. I have a fidget toy but it doesn't stop the urges. I broke a pair of tweezers in frustration. I've cried myself to sleep multiple times. I've been stuck in the bathroom for almost an hour, picking, multiple times.
I'm not so much ashamed of my fingers as I am of my face. I will never go out in public without covering up my forehead with makeup first. I will also always photoshop any spots on my face and fingers if I post pictures online. I've always wanted to get rid of that feeling of compulsion and just post a picture including all the blemishes, but I'm not quite there yet.
Right now I'm doing okay, apart from a sore spot on my index finger that I just got and a red spot on my forehead that's been bad for a long time but has just started to heal. Stress is usually what makes it worse for me. I'm working on my Bachelor's at the moment so at times I get anxious that I'm not on schedule, but at least I get to be at home a lot.
As for coping/distractions I do my nails a lot. As a perfectionist I like to work on details and the upkeep suits me. If I show my nails to someone, tho, it's always my left hand. My right hand is the one I pick at mostly even tho I'm right handed. Having nice looking nails usually prevents me from picking, at least to a degree. It helps when my nails aren't as sharp and when I wouldn't want to ruin my mani. The bathroom is a tricky place, tho. Whenever I see myself in the mirror, especially when I'm going to bed and I'm tired, it's really hard to resist. I get triggered by both seeing and feeling spots to pick.
My so far best methods to prevent myself from picking is to use nail/cuticle oil, a glass file and Bepanthen. The nail/cuticle oil helps the skin around my nails to not look and feel as dry and pickable. I use a glass nail file to file/smooth out unevenness both on my fingers and my face. It helps the blood circulation and removes almost any spot I would otherwise be picking at. I put Bepanthen mainly on spots on my face and it makes a drastic difference if I've done so before I've gone to bed versus when I haven't.
This was a long time coming vent/reflection on my habits. I'm happy to clarify anything you might wondering about. I'm also not a native English speaker, in case it shows. :)
Thank you for reading.
TLDR: 10+ years of picking on my fingers and my face. Glass files, oil and Bepanthen are worth more than gold.
Submitted March 11, 2019 at 01:06AM by PurpleVein https://ift.tt/2u1YRNM
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