I frequently draw for my D&D group and none of them seem to care. It's pretty demoralizing.

toss account since my people know my handle

I’ve had a difficult last year and a half or so, starting with attempting suicide after many years of depression through a majority of my teens and into college. I had to drop out (it was for the better), and ended up getting a job and an apartment. I’m comfortable, though it’s not super ideal.

After, quite literally, going to work and only ever talking with my friends and long distance partner for about a year, I finally took a step out into finding activities to do in my city, and stumbled upon a phenomenal D&D group that meets at a card shop right near my apt that I didn’t even know was there. I’ve been having the time of my life- it’s sincerely made my life better and I have real things to look forward to every week! And the people are amazing!

I’ve done art off and on since I was younger, but stagnated for months at a time where I couldn’t even pick up a pencil because I was so deeply depressed. My skills aren’t where I would want them at all, but I’m not... THAT bad either, you know? Playing D&D has made me draw even more consistently than I ever have before. I’m loving it. So as a nice gesture, I draw bits and pieces out of the campaign for that week and send them to the relevant parties online to show my appreciation. I’m a very character-oriented person, and always have been, so this is something I really enjoy.

But usually, the replies I get are “niiice” or “that’s cool” or, if it’s in the group chat, almost straight up nothing. If I’m asking around what their character looks like, it’s an inconvience and I can’t nail it how they like. It sucks. My partner is so beyond supportive, but is also an artist leagues better than me so I end up feeling like a gimpy sidekick when I show them my art. Maybe I’m being a dick, but I’m just... I don’t know, used to me and my art friends hyping up each other when we do stuff? part of my wishes my new group would see how much I’ve struggled, but I’m not going to spill all this weirdly personal shit onto people I know like that.

I don’t want to beg for attention. I just wish I’d get a little more back...

Submitted March 07, 2019 at 06:04AM by theo-a-way https://ift.tt/2VIHmOp