This is a mixture of both the r/choosingbeggers category, the r/pettyrevenge category, and probably a couple others but it's a funny story I look back on none the less.
So for a bit of background and sorry if this story turns out to be too long to use. But at the time of this story I had gotten fired from a job that had no intentions of keeping me on after my shadow, I was desperately looking for a new job and was willing to do almost anything to get one. Fresh out of high school, looking for work, and on my way to college, yeah I was a pretty easy target. The characters are as follows: Me=me, SB=Shotty Boss, PP=Princess Peach, SD=Step Dad, M=Mom, and CR.J=CinnamonRoll.jpeg (aka my brother). Right, let's get into the story.
So after I got out of high school I was in desperate need of work seeing as I would be going to college in half a year and needed some work in the field I was planning on going into which was Culinary Arts. I watched a lot of cooking shows and I've always been passionate about not just cooking, but also doing EVERYTHING right. I was willing to put up with absolute jack wagons in the field seeing as I myself can be a bit dramatic (which is an entirely different story for an entirely different category) but OH BOY I did not expect what was going to happen. I apply to a pizza place that used to be very popular in the area I live in. The place was called "Hollywood Pizza" (I can post the name here because the place has been shut down since late 2015) and the food there was awesome, though the decorations not so much. Whatever though, I was happy to get even an interview. So I went in for the interview, do my best to stay confident through the interview and they're all just super chill and all like "Yeah we are looking for a pizza maker and we're willing to teach" which made me practically bursting with joy and they say that for teaching for like a month they'll need to take away $2.00 from my minimum wage check (which in Michigan at the time was like $8.45 an hour) and I just agree not thinking much of it.
Now for context, I knew I would have to change up my lifestyle in a lot of ways because I used to paint my nails, I loved dying my hair crazy colors, and I even used to style my long hair in ways that were edgy or cutely messy. The nail polish is important for two reasons, one of which I'll get into in a second. But basically, you can't have nail polish on during work hours because it poses a HUUUUUUGE health and safety risk to customers which in the restaurant field, if someone is cooking your food you'd expect not to freaking die. So I remove my nail polish, cut out the hair that had been highlighted or dyed crazy colors, and even invested in some hair ties because I was determined to be clean, and somewhat professional looking.
So a month into the job, I've already seen two employees leave and I've been demoted from dough master, to dishwasher/whatever the boss needed me to do on not busy times. No problem, I'm getting experience, I show up early every day, I don't have any bad habits, and I'm always polite to what few customers did come in. One day I was working on a new salad because we were unusually busy that day and a lot of people needed salad so after I cleaned up the dishes I went over and began cutting up the lettuce for the salad with tomatoes having been already cut for other people to add, when I accidentally slice open my finger to where you're able to see the muscle. I let out a loud "MOTHER FUCKER" before rushing to get to wash my hand and attempt to stop the bleeding (which required three band aids, paper towel, and a lot of tape as a temporary fix before I superglued it with medical glue at home) and after which I go to throw out the lettuce. Hence, the second of MANY red flags.
SB: -looks over from his crappy little desk and raises an eyebrow- Hey, what are you doing? Me: -looks confused for a moment and laughs it off casually- Oh sorry, I guess we have to write this down as product loss? SB: Depends, is there blood on the lettuce? -he asks as though me cutting my finger was a normal occurrence- Me: No, but we're... SB: Than don't worry about it, just cut the rest of it with a new knife and it should be fine.
Now despite my better judgement and all those with culinary arts training in the world, even Gordon Ramsey himself demanding I get the hell out of there, I instead decide to do as I'm told. For any who don't know, this is a HUGE RED FLAG because any time you cut yourself on accident, even if there's no blood on the food, you need and I mean NEED to throw that out as soon as you get your cut patched up because of the risk that the person prepping your food might have a disease. But, due to my autism and my need to please my employer, I let it slide and just do as I'm told. Thankfully, I wasn't sick or infected with diseases so there wasn't an outbreak caused by the pizzeria.
The next red flag came in the form of cockroaches. Now exterminators of pests are expensive as any home, business, or any sort of property owner will tell you but restaurants have to make sure pest control, especially in an area with a lot of litter and other dining experiences, has to be at the very least priority number 1.5 right below keeping patrons safe from illness and disease. I learned through doing my own research on several health and safety websites that if you see one cockroach, your business might as well be entirely boned because there's probably THOUSANDS. Well, the first time I saw my first little bastard I let my boss know. He told me to just "get a jug of hot water and toss it on the spot I saw it, the moisture will drown it." This... Is... THE DUMBEST IDEA EVER! First off, cockroaches breed like rabbits during the apocalypse so if you just kill one, you've got thousands or god forbid millions of these buggers crawling around out of sight. Second, they love warm, dark, and MOIST ENVIROMENTS which is what they were essentially living in. So Third Red Flag has been created.
Next on my list of idiotic things was that my boss expected me to come in on my time off, hand flyers out to ALL of the local businesses within a thirty to forty minute walk of his place excluding other food joints, the local mall, or places that were closed because he was trying to get the word out there about business seeing as it had been slow and he wanted to advertise we delivered with a tagline that we'll pretend is "Insanely Speedy Service" (I hope my fellow Americans understand the parody of the JJ's tagline). Now as a guy who was already working a lot of long hours to save up for school (usually around 4:30pm to 11:50 pm) five days a week, and was saving up for college I always looked forward to my days off. But, I NEVER hesitated to pick up extra hours if it meant I could also work in the kitchen, and my boss knew that. I did what he asked, and came in on my day off to deliver flyers which he ended up getting into a bit of legal trouble for. By this point, my Mother and CR.jpeg had began working there a couple days a week with my mother being the delivery person and my brother just kind of being there. Side note, my brother also has autism and is slightly worse off, but is still able to hold a conversation and can take a lot of stress before having a melt down.
Fourth red flag, my step dad recognized him. On a day where my mothers car was in the shop for some sort of issues, my step dad had to drop us off at work where my step dad, who is a pretty chill dude most of the time, waved him down to thank him for hiring me and being an all around stand up guy. That's when, this conversation ensued:
SD: Hey man, thanks for hiring both my step so... -he pauses to get a closer look at the man- SB: Um, is something wrong? -looks visibly confused- SD: Did you used to work at [insert pizza place he worked at in his home town here] SB: -gets flustered and shakes his head- I'm legally not obligated to talk about that. -walks back into Hollywood pizza-
Now a couple weeks later, the situation bugged my step dad and he did some further research on the guy, by googling his name (which I would love to post but won't because non reddit karma will get him) and turns out my step dad WAS RIGHT! Turns out the guy used to work at the pizza place near my step dads old house and he ran it out of business by getting in a managers position through false promises and other means that were actually illegal. Now, I am starting to worry what I dragged my family into.
Red flag five, the final flag where I've started to fully enact my #pettyrevenge as I go. See, up until this point, I've gone above and beyond for this restaurant. I took on every roll they needed me to take on whether it came to busting tables, prepping food, cooking food, making announcements (in the voices of famous characters from old cartoons or morgan freeman) for food that was ready, washing dishes etc. and I even recruited new employees which were my mother and CR.jpeg and I had been exhausted. Fuck, I'd even quite literally bled for this company. Than, on a day I come in for work with a guy who had been putting up with this crap for years, my boss and I have this conversation:
Me: -shows up early like a good employee- Hey SB, how's it going? SB: Hey it's going good. I've noticed you've been clocking in when you come in early over the past couple weeks. (remember my shift typically began at 4 and ended at 11) Me: Yeah I have, is there a problem? SB: Oh yeah, I want you to work an hour off the clock and than clock in when you're actually supposed to be coming in.
… are. you. FUCKING. KIDDING ME?! After four months of his bull crap, he expects me to do that?! Of course I obeyed his wishes for that night but you can bet I had some words when I got home.
Me: -after explaining the situation while having a beer that my mother allowed me to have- What should I do M? I've only got like one or two months left of this crap and then I'm off to college... M: Why not just show up and not work until YOUR shift starts?
So that's what I did, for the last few remaining weeks I was there I only showed up an hour early, sat down and dicked around on my phone until I was SUPPOSED to clock in for MY shift. By this point, I was so stressed that I needed a way to calm down. Luckily (or not so) a coworker of mine would take me out on a cigarette break with him and he sadly got me into the habit. I still smoke four years later.
On the last day of my employment there, I get asked to stay an extra couple hours to finish preparations for a party the restaurant was holding the next day. See, at that point, my mother worked at a local high school and was barely getting enough sleep what with working two jobs and not even getting paid minimum wage (despite spontaneously being promoted to manager) and that same day we had to drive six hours to the town my college was in after packing up everything I NEEDED to take with me. So, I had the audacity to say "No"
SB: What do you mean no? Me: I mean no. I've got a lot to do over the next couple days, you've known about this from the moment I showed up, and I'm not even going to get paid overtime for this. I've been too generous to a man, and sadly company that doesn't deserve it. PP: Come on Hypstercharizard, quit whining and just stay after. Me: -visibly upset- Shut the fuck up. You're NOT my boss, you're NOT my mother, and last I checked you weren't giving be blowjobs to side with you. Since I've got here you've been nothing but a life sucking wave of anger and hate and I'm done with it. SB: Well if she's not your boss than why won't you listen to me? Me: Because I don't like either of you. I came on to MAKE PIZZA which I can only do whenever you're not around and you've left my mother in charge. -I start to get back to my post and just start washing dishes, it already being two hours away from my shifts end- PP: -comes by thirty minutes later- Hey. Me: -doesn't respond as I have my earbuds in to try and calm down- PP: -pulls out earbud- HEY! Me: -audibly sighs- What? PP: -rather bratty like- Rewash this fucking cutting board, it's stained. Me: …. -sighs and shrugs- As you wish. By the way, would you like me to provide you some nail polish removal free of charge to stop surprise health inspectors from finning us? After all, your wish is my command "Princess Peach"
At that point I just didn't care anymore, so when she called me a bunch of rude things (which was a bit deserved) and SB decided to be a jerk and laugh about it, I had it. I walked over to the pizza making station, made a pepperoni pizza since we were out, but I used the pepperonis to make a nice little "F U" on the pizza and waited for it to be cooked before walking it over and dropping it on SB's keyboard before walking out and calling my mother.
In the end, SB's illegal transactions ended up getting Hollywood Pizza shut down, reopened to "Showbiz Pizza" but that got shut down as well. I went to Culinary arts school where I excelled and I even got to use a recipe that I made while at Hollywood Pizza as the special for a restaurant inside of the school I was at. I don't know if SB is reading this, but if he is (and VoiceyHere if you read this, please say this out loud) I just wanted to say, with the buttery and sexy British voice narrating this story of your nefarious transactions: Fuck you, you fat bastard. You know exactly who you are, what you did, and WHEN you get arrested cause of some bullshit you did that resulted in warrants cause by things without loopholes, I hope a former "client" of yours is working the kitchen in prison, and gives you food poisoning. I hope you never work in the culinary field ever again, and I'm in a much better position.
I'm sorry at how long this all was, and I appreciate anyone who reads this.
Submitted March 06, 2019 at 12:13PM by HypsterCharizard https://ift.tt/2SLOhV5
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