When you’re weighing whether to date or marry a woman, you’re likely familiar with the SMV acronym or Sexual Market Value.
That is, her youth, beauty and fertility and the importance men place on those traits in choosing a girlfriend and future wife out of the “marketplace” of all the other available women.
But beyond the basic and initial attraction most men experience, there’s a world of details that can help determine whether your future marriage will be happy, stable and satisfying—joyful, even—or if it’s likely to be filled with frustration, disappointment and despair.
Giving you glimpses into your future
There are clear signs, if you’re willing to look, and they can be found in a woman’s RMV or Relationship Market Value, also called MMV or Marriage Market Value.
RMV consists of things that make for a better, happier, stronger relationship that lasts.
This is true for men and women, and this post is part one (for men) of a two part series (the second for women) on helping to identify qualities in a potential spouse that make for a godly, happy marriage that lasts.
RMV can include character and personality as well as talents and skills. It ranges from her personal relationship with God to her personal finances, from how she appears in the present to what she’s hiding (if anything) in her past.
And, of course, always taking a close look at her actions to see if everything she’s promised will be a reality in your post-nuptial future.
Are you truly getting what she has told you when you marry?
Let’s find out.
Here’s the checklist:
1. She knows the Lord Jesus.
As a Christian, you are commanded not to marry a non-Christian.
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV
Ignoring this simple, yet profound command is the cause of much strife between couples.
And yet many do.
Take a good look at the contrast God gives you.
Light with dark? Righteousness with lawlessness? You probably wouldn’t blink an eye at how those things cannot be blended together, and yet we sometimes think we know better than God and can make it work when marrying.
Because love.
Or attraction.
Or chemistry.
Or fill in the blank with your best excuse.
No.
You’re the one who’s going to pay if you purposefully ignore this command.
Oh, and if you think you’re going to win her over by evangedating, let me say I’m thankful for any and all who come to Christ and did so through the efforts of one they dated.
But for every one who was successful in winning their girlfriend to Christ, there are four or five or fifteen others who didn’t and they ended up so emotionally tangled that it’s almost impossible to undo without great hurt and sorrow. Or you end up marrying, violating the command and living with the consequences.
Make sure she’s a Christian.
And if you don’t want to marry a non-Christian, it makes sense not to date a non-Christian. Because as one itinerate preacher said, you’re going to end up marrying someone whom you’ve dated.
Simple, profound and clear.
So obey the command.
2. She has a great relationship with God!
Didn’t we just cover this?
It’s great you asked… and no, we haven’t.
In fact, this section is going to make or break the others to a large degree, as you’ll see.
First, let me get your opinion on something.
Imagine there’s a married couple and they’re having some problems. The man is doing his part, but not to much avail.
The wife doesn’t communicate well or even that often. They’ve been physically faithful but the commitment is lacking. Just kinda, well… meh. Their intimacy is almost non existent. It occasionally happens, though. They don’t spend that much time together, although he’s always available and reaches out. She just doesn’t put in a lot of effort, overall.
If you were to ask, she says the marriage is important to her, and she nods in agreement when you bring up certain things and says she’s doing that or plans to and agrees it’s important. But she rarely gets around to it and her actions often don’t match her words.
Would you say this couple has a good marriage?
Because its your girlfriend/fiancée’s (and your, for that matter) relationship with God that I’m talking about.
Just like you can be married but have a terrible marriage, so too you can be saved, and part of the bride of Christ, and have a personal relationship with God, but that relationship isn’t very good or strong.
And, of course, it can be a great one if you choose!
And speaking of choosing, you’ll want to marry a woman who’s relationship with God is where it should be and getting stronger.
Because if not, you can easily end up like the imaginary couple above if you don’t get serious about the faith and you settle for stock answers like “She believes in God” and “I’m a Christian” and “She loves Jesus” or “My faith is important to me.”
There’s nothing wrong with any of these per se, but what do they mean in specific, practical, every day life, her and me living together as husband and wife kinda terms?
Ask some easy and honest questions, take a good look and carefully consider each of the following:
Is she spending time together with God or rarely have quiet times with Him? Is she in His Word daily or doesn’t have the desire to do so? Is she holy or off in sin? Does she encourage her friends to live godly and is she discipling others? Is she living out what Scripture teaches to the best of her ability and it’s evident by her actions?
This goes for you, too.
Because your answers are going to determine your future happiness with your wife, and if all you’re relying on is her telling you she believes in Jesus, or she has a personal relationship with God, or any number of other platitudes and phrases, dear brother, you’re in for a rude awakening.
Come here for a sec.
I can almost read your mind. There may be things like “Well, my relationship with God isn’t that great either, so we’re on the same page and we can grow together.”
Or even more likely, there’s the “Bro, I just want a good woman who’s faithful, chill, cheerful and fun, gives me plenty of sex and all the other good stuff. Submissive and follows my lead. You know. I don’t want or need a biblical scholar”
Yes, I know.
You mean things like you having full sexual rights to her body (and she, yours, as per 1 Corinthians 7). Not to mention all the intimate actions poetically written of in the Song of Songs.
And her being submissive in every thing like in Ephesians 5:22-24.
Or her being a good help mate and hard worker in or out of the home like in Proverbs 31.
Or her respecting you. (Ephesians 5:33)
Or her just generally being a good woman, and not living the party girl lifestyle, not off in sin, etc.
Or her being chaste and she can present herself to you on your wedding day as not having been with anyone else, or at least has repented of her past and hasn’t been with very many men.
Or her being fun and playful, maybe like Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 26:8) when he was “sporting” with her (the word tsachaq means to play with, make sport, tease or jest, laugh and mock, all in merriment and fun)
Or her being chill and not a nagger or a nuisance but instead is a peacemaker. (Proverbs 21:19, Matthew 5:9)
And on and on and on…
Things like, well, you know, things God talks about in the Bible.
Things she would know and embrace and live by if she were, well… if she had the kind of relationship with God that we’re talking about.
Remember, she doesn’t need to be biblical scholar or seminary student or start citing Koine Greek and Hebrew to you.
She just needs to be (no matter where she’s starting from) someone who loves the Lord and has a sincere desire to continually grow in love, sanctification and grace and it’s clear because you see it in her actions.
Let me run this by you one more time in a different way.
If you’re a Christian man and want a woman like this, look for a godly woman who’s in God’s Word and does her best to live by His commands because she walks in the Spirit and not a superficial, surface-level one without much depth.
Again, she doesn’t need to be steeped in the Word from the get-go, BUT (to borrow the F.A.T. acronym from Red Curious) she does need to be faithful, available and teachable.
Otherwise, if you’re single and ignore this advice, don’t wake up one day, cry and complain and post on RPChristians how your now wife isn’t submissive, she doesn’t try to please you, she’s a nagger or not nice, or doesn’t know when to STFU or who knows what.
You’ve been warned.
You’ve been encouraged.
And hopefully, you’re at least a little bit inspired to make this a priority in your life and you look for a woman with this level of spiritual maturity, grace and godliness and who will, in the words of a very wise man, “will do you good and not evil all the days of your life.”
I wish it for you with all of my heart.
Now, onward…
3. She respects you.
“and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33b NASB
Entire books could be written on this, but let’s see if we can sum it up.
She should respect the position you hold as her head and the authority God has given you over her.
There should be an understanding and reverence there because you’re going to be the one held accountable for how you handled the headship God has given you.
This respect should show in her actions.
It can include her asking to speak privately and not bringing up contentious things or badmouthing you in front of others, to addressing cares and concerns diplomatically even when alone to building you up or taking care to set a good example because as your help mate, a respectful woman knows she is an ambassador (for God and for you, as her husband) and her actions matter in keeping up your good name.
In sum, she builds you up and doesn’t belittle you.
She highly esteems who you are (as her head/authority over her), your God given mission/the work you do and the responsibility you have.
And she does this even when (or especially when) she’s angry, upset or disagrees with your decisions.
If we respect and obey God only when things are good, or when we understand all that we want, or when life is a fairytale of fantastic moments, that doesn’t say much about us. The same is true of your gf/future wife. You want a woman who’s respectful (or working on becoming more so) at all times.
I’m not talking about perfect, but rather a woman who puts into practice what the Word teaches and works on improving as needed.
So while dating, see how she acts around her father and how she speaks of him. He is over her until she marries. You want a woman who treats her dad with honor and respect and has the right attitude and actions toward him, as this is a great sign she will give you the same when you marry.
4. She’s submissive.
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:22 and 24 KJV
As with respect, barrels of ink (or endless pixels on a web page) can be used up to write at length on this.
I once shared an analogy that I think will be helpful here.
Do you remember those drivers ed cars? They have a brake on the passenger side, so the instructor can slow down or stop the vehicle if he feels it necessary.
Now imagine you and your wife are riding in a car but she has a brake on her side.
If you’re trying to accelerate and steer, but she decides to pump the brake because she doesn’t like what you’re doing or how you’re driving, it can lead to chaos and wreck your marriage, just like it can end up in an accident and wreck your car in this analogy.
At the very least, it’s going to be a bumpy ride in your relationship and make getting to your destination more difficult.t
At worst, it can wreck your marriage.
If, however, you want to arrive at your destination quicker, easier and much more smoothly, she’s going to have to trust God and you, and submit.
Moreover—and this is important—her submission is not conditional. Just as your love for her is not conditional. It’s not “Well, when were on the same page” or if I think that’s what right, or any kind of other excuse. It’s full submission in everything.
[and this shouldn’t have to be noted, but obviously if something is clearly a sin, then violating God’s Word because your husband told you to doesn’t count. So don’t go knocking off the local 7 Eleven because your husband sent you down there to get a couple hundred extra cash]
I’ll also note that while headship is talked about with a wife, it’s a good idea that she practices it as your girlfriend.
After all, she doesn’t magically become submissive when she says “I do” and what she’s like before the marriage is likely what she’s going to be like after in this regard.
5. She’s a virgin.
This is God’s standard and the gold standard when it comes to sexual virtue.
It’s not virgo intacta (no intercourse) but every other hole has been plundered and now you get to be to be the next person in line.
It’s not hamstering oral sex isn’t sex, so her stuffing your manhood in her mouth doesn’t count kinda thinking.
Or any other nonsense.
She’s sexually pure.
Virtuous.
A virgin. In every way.
That means no intercourse, oral or anal.
Now, as we all know, none of us are perfect. We make mistakes. Sometimes big ones. Or many. And maybe she’s traveled the road from slut to saint and has sincerely repented of her past.
You’re going to need to weigh this accordingly.
Obviously, her relationship with the Lord is the most important thing.
We also know that studies show that women with higher numbers of sexual partners often have much higher likelihoods of divorce, depression, addictive behaviors, and so on.
Just remember, as a general rule, the lower the number, the better.
A virgin is ideal.
But 2 is better than 5.
5 is better than 14.
And so on.
Also, I’d consider the consequences of porn and masturbation if it’s an issue with her.
It can cause issues with women just as it does with men. I once heard a woman tell of her group of female friends—some who had masturbated and still do—and even the ones who still were, said that if she hasn’t started, then don’t. Interesting that the ones who were, recommended to their friend not to start. It doesn’t seem to affect all women equally, and yes, I’m aware of women who seem to have no problem with it.
I just want you to be aware that it can be an issue for individuals and affect your future. So talk about this topic in an open, honest and adult way and see if there are any issues or struggles or signs that might point to problems in the future.
6. She comes from an intact family.
Many years ago, a marketing mentor stopped his seminar and took a moment to talk to us about life, dating and marriage.
It was an odd, but poignant moment.
He said if we’re considering a woman for marriage, there is one thing you need to look for. He said it can make or break your marriage.
And that is her relationship with her dad.
If she’s had a great relationship with her father, it goes a long way to helping ensure a happier relationship with you.
And the opposite is also true to some degree.
A bad relationship with her dad can lead to troublesome times in your relationship with her.
He had been around a long while, had dated a lot and been married a time or two and in all of his years, and that of his friends, family and colleagues, he had seen it time and time again how true this statement was.
Now, let me offer something even more important.
It’s not just her relationship with her dad, but is her parents divorce a part of her past?
Obviously, it’s not her fault, but it can impact her future.
I’d argue even more so than her relationship with her dad.
You want a woman who comes from an intact family.
Major bonus points if her parents had/have a good and happy marriage. And additional points if the girl you’re with had/has a good or great relationship with her dad, especially in her formative years.
Now, not all of this is bad news if she’s from a broken home.
As with other categories in this list, there are exceptions. Some people are impacted to far greater degrees than others.
For example, my mom didn’t have a good relationship with her dad. It wasn’t bad, just not good. She struggled at times with that, and yet she and my dad had a great marriage, a very happy and blessed 55+ years together til she passed.
So don’t count a woman out if she’s suffered through this, but do know it can make an impact on you two and it’s something you need to consider.
7. She’s mentally and emotionally healthy.
Get yourself a stable woman.
She’ll be a blessing to you.
Unless you like the fireworks from emotional train wrecks that express themselves all too often, look for a healthy woman who doesn’t have any issues in this regard.
It’s tough to write about, because my heart goes out to any woman who’s going through things that can cause mental or emotional instability.
And the causes can range from childhood trauma, to a medical condition to any number of things that leads to depression, bpd and various forms of emotional outbursts.
It’s a very challenging thing for a woman going through this, and it can be a roller coaster ride for both of you. Do I think all women with varying degrees of depression or disorders should be written off? No.
But I am saying you need to think long and hard about dating and marrying her and make sure you’re prepared to handle the ups and downs, the good times and the outbursts, and everything that is involved with this.
Now, quick note:
Please show good judgment and understanding.
Women cry. They get emotional. Sometimes often.
They may experience high highs and low lows, depending on how sensitive they are, etc.
These are not the women I’m talking about when I say be careful when considering who you date and marry.
Maybe a woman doesn’t handle a situation as well as you think she should and she emotionally breaks down in that moment. It’s fine. She’s a woman. It could be she cares deeply about something and the experience is overwhelming. Let girls be girls.
And if someone does struggle with depression, is she on meds? Does she have it dialed in and any emotional outbursts (or retreating and not wanting to be around anyone) are rare?
It’s something to consider because she may be a diamond in the rough with many outstanding qualities, and this is an area that, while challenging, is under control.
Use wisdom.
You may find this next part surprising.
I think you should be cautious about dating women with a high number of past relationships and/or few ones but with much baggage.
These too, can cause issues.
Cautionary note number one:
For example, let’s say that a woman got very emotionally attached and bonded with a man she dated and there was a bad breakup. We all know or have heard of women who carry emotional scars from previous relationships. Now imagine a similar relationship, but this time the man was unfaithful and she has trust issues. Then imagine there was another relationship, and this one had more negative things impressed upon her.
And the cycle keeps repeating.
She’s going to have a hefty amount of baggage to carry around, and it may get unloaded on you.
So look into or ask about her dating past, and see if there are any warning signs to steer clear of.
Cautionary note number two:
There’s the flip side of number one, which is that she never dated that much and has regrets and wishes she could “live it up” and alas, some do, to their detriment.
While others internalize it—and even though they don’t act on their feelings—they resent that they didn’t get to experience “abc” or “xyz” and they can take out this frustration on you.
See, the thing is, it really comes down to the woman.
If she’s well adjusted and was raised right and has a good perspective about things, I know women who dated and married the man in their first relationship and they are amazingly happy and they have nary a regret. They would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
I also know women who dated a lot, both short and long term relationships, and they too, are exceedingly happy and have a great marriage. They simply took things in stride, any negative outcomes was like water off a duck’s back that they learned from and it didn’t impact them that much, if at all.
Then there’s the aforementioned cautionary tales.
You’re going to need to see what, if anything, happened in her life and what impact it’s made on her. If I had to guess, I’d say this one is 50/50 on whether a woman is carrying a lot of emotional cargo or whether she’s flying relatively baggage free.
8. She doesn’t have any bad habits.
I’m not talking about biting her nails bad or silly stuff that doesn’t mean much.
I mean things that can uproot your relationship, cause strife or deep frustration or long term unhappiness.
Like lighting up joints as if she was Cheech or Chong.
Or being a heavy drinker.
Or a bar fly, club-hopping, party hard kinda girl.
Or being flirty with other men.
Or treating others (think waiters or waitresses) with disrespect or disdain.
Or just a basic lack of manners, class or conviction as to what is right and good or even normal behavior for a woman.
And the list goes on… :)
9. She’s single, never married and no kids.
Put the rocks down for a moment.
Yes, there are single moms who end up making good wives.
And you can probably find exceptions or examples of women in different scenarios who would make a good spouse.
I’m simply giving men a truth.
There will be greater challenges with a woman who is divorced, or has children.
Some/many men will completely avoid a divorced woman for biblical reasons. We’ve covered this topic before and I don’t want to bely it here, I’m bringing this up because many men believe differently, and I’m saying there’s obvious concerns even if there weren’t biblical objections by some.
Studies show many divorced women are likelier to divorce again, compared to women who were single, never married before tying the knot.
Moreover, the single moms often (and understandably) put their kids first, but biblically speaking, as far as relationships go, it’s God first, and then your spouse and then the kids.
This puts single moms in an almost impossible situation. Vetting for a husband who is going to take priority over her children? Most women would likely say no, probably even the vast majority of them.
But I chatted with one woman who would put her new husband first, above her kids, so these women are out there and do exist.
The thing is, the pool of women who are like this are very small, and as others have said, when it comes to single moms, add the number of kids she has and add one spot… that’s likely where you stand.
Unless you can find that rare woman, or a godly young widow, the ideal is single, never married and no children.
10. She’s teachable.
You want a woman who is faithful, available and teachable.
I really hope God “gets onto” my friend Red Curious for his F.A.T. acronym (because every time I think of it I think of a literal fat woman lol — and there’s got to be something better) but admittedly, it is memorable, helpful and accurate.
As I mentioned earlier, you don’t need a woman who knows everything (although some might think they do haha) about the bible or other things, but you do need someone who is open and eager to learn no matter level they’re starting at.
Moreover, as her (future) husband, there will be times you need to teach, instruct and/or admonish her. Will she humbly receive your instruction? Does she repent or is she prideful and pushes back on any correction?
Take note and take appropriate action in considering her for marriage.
11. She’s a good help mate.
“Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” - 1 Corinthians 11:9 ESV
“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” - Genesis 2:18
Look for a woman who knows and embraces a biblical role of being a help mate for her husband.
See how her actions align with this belief, and ask yourself how she is doing with this role while you’re dating?
It’s less of “I’m hungry and horny. Go make me a sammich, woman, so I can smash!” and a lot more of her working with you to help achieve the mission God has given you.
Sure, this help can include sandwiches and sex, but you and I both know when you’re abusing your authority and when you’re respecting your help mate.
So ask yourself when evaluating her role as a helper, does she take initiative to find ways to help you, both small and great? Is she eager to come alongside you and play an active role in being a helper? Does she want to know more about it so she can be fulfill her role better?
Are her actions more of a “just enough” to get by, or does she go the extra mile? Does she see herself playing a limited role, confined to a certain area, or does she view being a help mate as encompassing everything, and wants to pour herself into you in every way, so you can more effectively pour yourself out to God?
She’s not only your (future) lover and companion, she’s your help mate, and hopefully she acts like it.
When you find a great one, you’ll want to put a ring on it.
12. She’s fiscally responsible.
You likely know of the “Men want debt free virgins with no tattoos.”
Let’s focus on that first part, because you may find it impacts your life a lot more than you realize.
Now, you’ll want to know how much debt she’s carrying, as it’s going to be on your financial shoulders as soon as you say I do.
And it’s not just the amount, but how did she accumulate it?
Was it for student loans, and were those loans for a worthwhile degree where she’s likely to make enough to repay the loans? Or was it for some obscure art degree that makes her a top prospect as a Starbucks Barrista? Or if it’s for something involving feminist studies, just run.
Besides education, where did she spend it? Is she a responsible credit card user? Does she max her cards out? Reasons?
As irresponsible as it seems, it does help to know the reasons why she made the decisions she has, so do ask. You may be surprised to learn why, and it may change your perspective on her financial practices. Always get to the bottom of things before reaching a final conclusion.
Of course, besides debt, there’s a whole host of other things to think about, such as:
Is she a saver or a spendthrift?
Does she make impulse buys? Is she prone to the latest fads and fashion and feel compelled to keep up with the Joneses?
Or does she strike a healthy balance between spending and enjoying some nicer things, while saving for the future and/or investing?
Because believe it or not, either one can be bad.
While it’s better to have a saver then someone who spends all of her (and your) money, it’s not all rainbows and sunshine if she’s of the mindset that one should never spend on certain things.
Maybe you want a nice this or that, or to take a more luxurious vacation one year, or upgrade your (or her) wardrobe and she’s adamantly opposed. You may want to take out a loan to start a business.
You can do what you want with your money, but a spouse who’s on the opposite side and emotional about it, or outright hostile to having certain things isn’t going to be a fun time together.
It’ll be good to think on this, know where each other stands, and as always, listen to what she says but continually look for clues that her actions match her words.
Above all, be very open and forthright with each other.
Tell her if you’re open to taking managed risks, and to what degree and give her examples. Ask her the same. See where you two are in agreement, where opposed and what you’re willing to do.
It’s far better to know now than to get involved, mingle your money and somehow be surprised that your wonderful wife thought it was OK to get that collection of Jimmy Choo’s.
You’ll be at peace if you choose a woman who is a good steward of what God has given her, is wise with her money and can be content with little, if needed.
And, of course, little to no debt as a result of this would be a wonderful bonus. Speaking of...
13. Bonus: She has a small social media footprint.
If you’re into Instababes or attention seeking thots, think again.
You’ll really want to reconsider.
Instead, choose a woman with an average to small (or non-existent) social media presence.
Narcissism isn’t nice to be around.
You don’t want a woman like this for a wife.
Because if it’s all about her, it’s not going to be about you or God or anything that’s important, unless she’s front and center and can receive all the accolades.
Save yourself the time, trouble and expense.
Find a girl who either uses social media wisely, or not at all.
Now, girls will be girls, and of course they’ll want to post pics of you two googly-eying each other, having fun at the beach, on the slopes, or wherever you find yourself and share it with friends and family.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
Let her be a girl and enjoy all the good things that come with it.
Just know that if the attention seeking is reaching the upper atmosphere, it’s a sign you should move on and find a woman who acts more appropriately in our social media society..
14. She’s fit and attractive.
Men are visual creatures and it plays an important role for you to be physically attracted to your future wife.
This goes both ways, and it helps if she can’t keep her hands off you because you look good and your body is in shape.
The problem, if there is one, is whether she is committed to keeping a healthy and fit body and age gracefully over the years.
If you have a woman who is committed to eating right, working out and doing what she can to stay tight and toned for as long as possible, then great! You’ve got a gem.
But if she looks good now, she may or may not in a few years, depending on all kinds of factors.
This has already been discussed here in various posts, and obviously, it’s not the most important factor but it is one to think about and weigh (no pun intended) whether her gaining “x” number of pounds is going to affect your attraction.
There is such a thing as love goggles and some men may not blink an eye at his girl gaining some weight.
And you love her and stay committed no matter what. No one is arguing differently.
What we are saying is that attraction matters to some degree (usually more than most realize), and no matter how godly or good or amazing she is, if she gains 50 or 100 or 150 lbs, it can affect your attraction levels.
And that, in turn, can affect your sex life, whether you get a diamond hard erection and want to repeatedly ravish her body because she’s hot and you’re attracted to her or if, well… you can hardly get it up because there’s no attraction there.
Which a lack of sex can in turn can affect other aspects of your relationship. If sex isn’t regular, it spills over into other area and you have this feedback loop of negative consequences.
Keep in mind there are degrees.
I don’t think anyone is saying (I know I’m not) if a woman gains twenty lbs (or whatever number) it’s all over. Or if she breaks out in bad acne or any number of physical beauty features, that it’s somehow tanking everything going forward.
Everyone is different.
What is clear, however, is that attraction does play a role, and often a very significant one.
Small hinges swing very big doors, and you can find yourself being less and less attracted and that “swings” another door over there a little, which in turn swings another and things add up.
If you think it’s not an issue, OK. I won’t argue with you. I am saying think on it and be ready to reap the rewards or consequences no matter how it plays out.
So if you are concerned, see how she is now and what she’s committed to in her actions.
Just remember that while it’s important, there are other FAR more important things like her knowing Jesus as Lord and walking closely with Him, as well as many of the above things we’ve already discussed.
Don’t choose only on looks, but don’t count them out either.
15. She’s cheerful and has a great personality!
One of the best blessings you can have is to date and marry a woman with a cheerful demeanor and just generally a good or great personality.
There’s just something about being around another human being (especially female companionship) when that person is happy, upbeat, optimistic and loves life!
It’s enchanting.
It fills you with all kinds of good things.
And it makes life go so much better.
Why do I mention all of this and include it as part of the RMV checklist?
Because God Himself (through divine inspiration) warns us repeatedly of a woman with a bad attitude.
If God mentions something once, that’s enough, and you should take notice and act on it.
If twice, you should stand up and be more on guard than ever.
Three or more times, repeated in similar and different ways to make a point? Bro, you better get super serous about this.
Here, let’s take a gander:
“It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” – Proverbs 21:9
Stop for just a moment and think on this. While God used men to pen the Bible, God is the one who inspired it.
And God thought it fit to include some words about the troubles of living with a contentious woman. You too, should take heed.
Hang on though, because God’s not done with this topic.
“It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” – Proverbs 25:24
God repeats the same thing.
OK. We got it, God.
But nope, He has something else to say on it, this time a little differently.
“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.” Proverbs 27:15 KJV
Hmm. Like a continual drumbeat of falling beads of rain, this is what a quarrelsome or contentious woman is like.
Well OK then.
You’ve been given fair warning.
And we’re still not done.
We also have:
“and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.” - Proverbs 19:13 ESV.
Man, I think we got it.
But God doesn’t think so.
No.
He tries YET AGAIN to get it through your head with this verse:
“It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.” Proverbs 21:19
Notice the description.
It’s continual.
It can drive you crazy.
But just as importantly, notice the progression.
At first, just living in the same house with a woman like this is bad.
But then you want to be in a corner of the rooftop.
After that, it’s enough to drive you out and want to live in a desert land.
The physical, mental and emotional toll it can take on a man is VERY significant if you have to try and put up with a contentious or a quarrelsome woman every day.
Think it’s important to make a very wise decision about who you date and especially who you marry? You better believe it!
So when you find a sweet girl with a wonderful attitude and a personality that can’t be beat, you might want to move Heaven and earth and make her yours.
Because you will have one of Heaven’s best blessings in finding a good woman like this.
The Bible tells us “a prudent wife is from the LORD.”
It wouldn’t surprise me if the Holy Spirit impressed upon you that a sweet woman is as well.
As I’m want to repeat, take note and take action.
What you need to do next
I’m running out of space to finish this, and instead of stopping mid-section, I’ll link and point you over here to read the rest. if you're so inclined.
It’ll be advice on how to process and apply all of this, and some extra notes to think about.
Things like:
How to stack the odds in your favor when applying these principles
When it’s OK to “rule out” a red flag
How to get God’s guidance and direction in finding a woman that’s right for you
And things like avoiding dating “blind spots” and knowing when to end a relationship vs. moving forward with confidence.
See you over there if you make the jump.
You've got the whole list here, though, so you're good to go either way.
And wishing you all the best in everything you do!
Submitted February 27, 2019 at 01:44PM by RedPillWonder https://ift.tt/2EhDrB0
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