I've known him since I was 9, im 19 next month. I'm definitely not the most social person, but i like to talk to people, a lot. Although seems like people are never as interested in me as i am to them. So about my friend, i dont have a close group of friends, I considered him my closest, and like 2 years ago he said something similar back, but i dont think thats the case anymore. He moved school and he met some guy. Now whenever we talk like we do or at least a few months ago all i hear is this new guy hes met. Like for games he'd show me this funny clip that him and his new friend did, and then he'll tell me about this time he went out to the city with this new guy and when he got so drunk whatever. im just here like what about me, hes off doing all these things. and now for months its only been me initiating contact and i get short replies or none at all. Im kinda nerdy and probably annoying to some ppl but idc. His new friend is the type that knows everyone and partys all the time, goes clubs and gets girls. Im mad jealous tbh, when i met him i wanted to be his friend too but he just saw me as a mutal friend. When i met with my bes friend like last month,,, we meet like once a month..... he told me for the first time knowing him for this many years that hes had 3 girlfriends, one of them being the only female friend i have tbh.... i never liked her so idc about that in that way its just crazy how i never knew this. all three of these girls approached him, whilst ive approached one of my crushes and got turned down hard. While girls approach him my crush took advantage of me and used me for school help whilst me thinking it was working out. Embarrasing u know. i wrote a conffession post about shoplifting on this reddit account that also talks about this situation with my crush.
ive been there for my best friend when he used to want anything or need help id do so much because i thought he was amazing. He is. Hes an amazing artist, sophisticated and hilarious, i want him to still be my closest friend and back when we grow older i see so much potential in him. But what ive heard from him from the last time weve met is that hes just at home?? ive asked him like 6 times this month to do something else with me but his excuse is broke and doesnt feel like it. i ask why hes spending time with other people but not me and he says hes only done one thing with this other guy since we met up. i somewhat dont believe it and i feel bad for that bc i trust him, how can he have time for all this adventure with once since we met. he says again hes got stuff on his mind and doesnt wanna do anything.
Hes not at school and jobless, doesnt wanna go university and apparently stays at home all day. WHy am i so jealous? hes had so much more life experience than me and doesnt even try. He won genetics lottery more than me too. he tells me about this time with his new friend he got high and all this shit. Ive only drank with him twice and one of those times i passed out. ive never done weed even how has he done all this. Does he see nothing in me, i guess im not as interesting for him. ive tried not contacting for like 3 weeks to see if hed notice and say somehting but nothing. so i message and get a short answer. If i had not done that i feel like he might not have texted for a very long time. I feel like he thinks im not cool enough for him anymore, hes gone up the social rankings. hes cool now and get girls chasing him, he goes to partys and has fun all the time, whilst im still this nerd who just watches weird indie movies and takes shit photos and draws shit art.
im really not saying this all right. imma sound like whiny bitch. I dont want reassurance i want to know what i can do to make my friend who has found someone more interesting to realise what hes missing when he wont even meet to give me a chance to show what ive become. Dont say move on. hes the only person ive ever been drinking with, so yh ive only drank like 3 times. u have no idea how many ppl i talk to and they never care. I ask about them yh whatever. ive asked my friends at school if they wanna drink but nah after school hours its over they just wanna go do stuff with their best friends, im just there bc im there at school. People like me but never wanna go further to acc hang out, its just talk at school. this one guy even i could tell rly tried to be my friend so eventually we did but once he starts to hang around my group my other school friends take him and now they bring him too with us for lunch and joke about him replacing me since he likes the place they eat at more than i do. im exciting im energetic and get excited easily, im adventourus and always ask people to jump into construction sites to explore with me but they never do, Im funny, people in my class always laughing. im not the best looking but i still dont get why people and my "best friend" now would still rather spend time with other people.
nobody i know EVER asks to just hang, if i say wanna just chill they say what for, why, im busy. seems like everyone so busy, My cousins came over today, i tried talking to them but theyre 3 and 9 years older than me so they just got along with my mum more. my mum raised me as a soy boy idk if that matters much in this, i always was called gay by everyone last year but ive been doing nothing remotely feminine anymore.
copy from somehting i wrote ages ago about this:
"
It must be common for children raised without a father to lack masculine characteristics since these children have had little to no exposure to it. In recent years I was assumed to be "gay" by classmates and other similarly aged people around me due to my lesser masculine presentation and more feminine habits and attitude. I was very confused with myself and couldn't understand why people thought this way about me. Maybe I am slow at understanding these things but it was difficult for me personally.
I soon realised it was pointless fighting with biology and that I should be what I really am. I then understood the facts of evolutionary psychology and that the direction is was heading would be no good for me or humanity. My mother considers herself a "modern feminist" and is not religious. She admits she wanted a daughter and when I was younger did things usually only a mother would do to a daughter such as tie my hair which I would allow her to do, but it left me feeling conflicted. At other times she would offer to paint my nails, this i would naturally refuse but I was still feeling conflicted. She would tell me that my hunter gatherer instincts were wrong; dangerous and I would believe her as after all, this was my dearest mother speaking.
I've been surrounded by so much female energy in the past few years and have had so little male communication i comparison, I used to feel embarrassed when doing some "boy" things. "
im just writing this because i love my friend, and all generic interenet shit says "just be yourself and people will come" well yh but not as good friends. "find new and better friends" i have but nobody in the world is as good as my friend hes amazing ive known him for almost 10 years i grew up with him. "sit down and talk to him" i cant meet him first and when i text and call its either ignored, or late and short reply. anything too deep and i sound like im moaning so he wont reply.
u know when i met hin like 4 months ago it had been so long since i saw him it actually got kinda awkward.
WAHH has anyone else been in a situation like this. its specific and i dont want generic advise, Ive been tring to figure this out myself but its not working out. my school friends arent interested at all about talking about this, and thats all the other friends i have. my other friends from old school are losers i used to be in that nerd group who used to et bullied and shit but now im v different im with the "cool kids at new school" but still not much happens. I lowkey jealous of my friends new life and his new friends. I wish i could hang with but idk.
Submitted February 03, 2019 at 01:51AM by Timurii http://bit.ly/2BiLtJ9
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