I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit for this (I'm new to the game) so if there's a more appropriate place to post this, let me know.
I've always been "straight" in the sense that I always dated/hooked up with/flirted with boys. My first (and only) love in high school was a boy. However, as I started getting older I found myself very sexually attracted to women and could only finish to lesbian porn. There were a couple girls that I found myself lusting after in real life, and when I was drunk this side of me would often come out, but I was always too scared to act on it. I figured people would think I was doing it for attention, but in reality I dreamed about what it would be like to be with a woman.
Its important to note I am incredibly feminine in my appearance–and my personality in a lot of ways. I like fashion and art, have long hair and always have my nails done, etc. I look like an attractive straight girl, and get asked out by guys pretty often. I'm even in a sorority, like my mother was and her mother too. People assume girls like me hook up with other girls for attention.
Very recently, at a party (I'm in college) I met a gorgeous girl and the second I saw her I wanted her so badly. Luckily it was an art/music kid party so I didn't feel as prohibited by my normal greek life scene where everyone knows everyone and the unspoken social standards are pretty strict. I somehow got lucky and this girl (really feminine like me) seemed into me and when I kissed her, she kissed me back. I felt such intense fireworks. I ended up having sex with her and it was the most incredible experience. It was the most sexually satisfying night of my life. I felt my self getting so turned on by her, while when I look up with guys, I'm normally turned on by how much attention they give me–like I'm picturing myself from their perspective if that makes sense. That difference felt really important to me.
So, now I'm pretty lost. I had sex with a girl and loved it, but if I were to come out as gay I hardly doubt anyone would take me seriously. I also don't know if I am gay, after all I've only had sex with a girl once. Maybe I'm bisexual, but how could I embrace that as part of my identity without looking like I'm screaming for frat boys to come have a threesome with me? Maybe this one experience doesn't even mean anything and it's a college phase of experimentation.
Other femme lesbians of reddit, how did you get over this hump? Does this relate to your stories of discovering your sexuality?
TLDR: I'm a sorority girl who had sex with a girl and loved it. Now what?
Submitted February 10, 2019 at 11:12PM by sxckc1 http://bit.ly/2thtTkl
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