Basically, I really need advices, opinions, experiences from people who may know about what I'm going through. I have a lot to say (I'm sorry about the length) but I'll try to make it straightforward but clear to understand (as possible). Also sorry about my english.
One if my best friends is a guy. We first met in our country of birth (french owned island with french school system) on the first year of "secondary school" (in our system high school is divided into two schools and starts at 11-12 yo to finish at 17-18 yo). We were both 11 years old, in the same class (a class stays the same and we have the same subjects together). I only knew my best friend from primary school, a girl, who thus sat next to me in class. I remember that during that first class of the year, I looked around to see the new faces and the only one I can still remember perfectly was his. Let's call my girl friend Emma and my future guy friend Willie.
Emma somehow made friends with Willie and introduced each other. We were both very very shy people so we didn't become close quickly. I am also an introvert - much less now, but at this time it was really bad. Still, he was a gentle and polite boy, and friendly. Plus Emma was more talkative and outgoing so it was going okay.
Now, I don't remember much of that year. So the next year, Emma and I got in the same class but not Willie. Sad but we were still in the same school so it was okay, and I still had Emma which mattered more to me because I was closer to her. Since I was introverted, I was kind of dependant to her socially.
Third year, I now got separated from Emma as well! I made others friends, but I was very lost and only jumping from one group to another. Very lonely. Emma, William and others friends they were always staying at the school library at lunch and I tried to go and stay with them, but I always didn't feel at my place, as if I got far from them and it wasn't the same anymore. By the way, it was such a struggle to be able to stay at the school library at lunch time because you had to sign up before hand as places were limited... and I had to eat alone as well so that I wasn't late.
Fourth year too, was socially horrible. Distance between me and Emma and William only grew. Well, we did become closer and best friends over time via Skype messaging. But at school we didn't see each other all the time. I was sad, and I missed both of them. Yes, equally. I had still become closer to William even though we kept growing apart from each other.
I'm not even kidding. Seconday school ended, then we went to the "second part" of "high school" (first one we call it collège, second one we call it lycée). Guess what? Emma and I went to the same school, but Willie went to a different one! And what more? Willie and I, thanks to internet messaging and SMS, grew even closer than Emma and I.
I think that's when our relation became really something else. That's when we really learned about each other, when we really connected and got mindblown. We continuously discovered differences and similarities to each other. But like, total ones. We talked until past midnight, got crazy together, experienced things together...
[N.B. as years went by, I also moved homes. At first, we actually lived very near from each other without knowing, but then my family kept moving farer and farer.]
We barely saw each other yet we got surprisingly close. And when we saw each other while hanging out with friends, I felt very happy to see him. I also always wished we had a chance to just be us two hanging out that never happened. I wasn't in love though. We felt really connected and we also admitted that that thing going on was beyond human social etiquettes of friendship or being "best friends". It was something we couldn't put a name on. I starting to question myself too. I started to consider soulmates and similar stuff and talked about it to him. I think I even asked a friend/aunty who knows about spiritual stuff. However I don't remember what Willie thought about it nor what my friend told me.
This same year was also my last year in my country. My parents decided to move to Australia, where my father comes from. So I had an outing at the beach with my closest friends - Emma, Willie, a girl I consider like my sister because we once were neighbours for years, and another friend I made during the previous year. The first time my parents had let me alone with my friends. However, Willie's parents actually invited us to dinner later on and we went, a dinner that ended in the morning... We knew them already so it was okay. Time went by so fast on that night.
Then, I flew away. At first, I didn't have access to wifi often so I missed them very much. It was hard immigrating to another country. I'll cut the unnecessary details other than that was in 2016 and I was extremely lonely. No school before 2017I also didn't go to school before 2017., not fluent in english, meeting the other family for the first time, stuck with my parents and not much money. The moments I was able to chat with them made me feel better. Because again, I got farer from them.
Then 2017, I got into High School in Australia. I got better overall - psycologically, socially, regarding my studies as well. However I was really living a different life from them (including him). It was nice to have things to show and tell them. However I was growing apart again. But I thought, it's okay, I have to move on and prepare my future, we will always be best friends anyway.
I also never talked again to Willie about supposedly spiritual stuff going on between us.
2018, last year of High School was the busiest and the best. However, I felt more than ever that Willie and me lost that connection. I mean, I didn't feel that bad regarding Emma and my Sister. I only felt that sad and pained with Willie. Like, really. He also had a good and busy year. But I really felt like we were far from each other. I'm repeating myself but like, really. I don't know what else to say to emphasise it precisely.
I have no idea if it was in 2017 or 2018, but I suddenly remember that I saw his new profile picture on Facebook so I clicked on it (to get a bigger image) because I missed him. And right at the same time, he sent me a private message saying how bad he was missing me. I was so shook that I even took a screenshot to show him.
So we did miss each other a lot during 2017/18. However half 2018 to this year, I feel like we really lost that connection. Recently I kept wondering about him and I also wonder how he feels. We do tell each other that we love each other. As I'm reserved about saying this, he's always the one saying it first (or I would say it broken or in english), but still inside of me there's like something missing or different compared to before. That feeling or connection. It was really intense but now it's like it faded or disappeared.
I think it also worth to mention that in 2018 he went to France on his own to do his superior studies there. Even more far.
So that's why earlier when I said we kept growing apart since we met, I really meant it. Geographically yes. We came super close at some point but now it just looks like it's going the opposite way. While we still are close friends. Very confusing to me.
Until one day a question about "twin flames" popped up on my Quora timeline. I got interested and basically kept going on learning more from time to time. I thought this was too much and that I was reading crazy stuff, then again went to search more... and so on.
So now I'm tired again of all this I hope someone will help me see clearer in all this. If this has nothing to do with twin flames or whatever it is, or if there's really something going on. By the way, I do believe in God and I do believe in never makes mistakes with our lives but that we also have to make our choices.
Here's a few things that we noticed. Some are big and some are futile. You don't have it read it all.
So of course we were born in the same country, but we both are mixed the same way. His mum and my dad both have the same origins (from the same indigenous island, though my dad is only partly from there), while his dad and my mum also have an identical type of origins (I won't be precise about where I'm from for private/safety reasons). We were both born in 2000, I was born in March and Willie was born in April. We both have green eyes. We both had dogs and cats as pets in our lives. I know that's nothing, but my last cat was a dark grey cat whereas his was a white cat. Both cats had a savage personality and didn't let other people touch them much except us. Only us could manipulate and play with our cat freely. Also, both cats looked very similar (probably same race). We both are very imaginative and into literature and arts (reading, writing, drawing, love music). We are both serious and hard working students but also very lazy. He is very organised, his environment is always clean, he never stays awake past a certain time and wakes up kind of early. Meanwhile I'm the opposite of literally all this. I'm trying to be organised but always fail to keep up, my room is a mess, I sleep very late (every day) and wake up very late (on no-school days). He speaks well and I don't really. We are both mature and wise. We both struggle hard with nails lmao (because of stress) - but recently I managed to grow them a certain length thanks to my perseverance (and no school). We often thought and said the same thing at the same time. Similar events in our lives, some at the same time. My favourite color is red since a while now actually, and during a recent video call I discovered that his earphones and his scarf are red. Things that he always wears. During recent video recordings on messenger, he was showing us his room and he said he found a Coca Cola glass bottle and kept it, and put fake plants as decoration. I was shook because I also recently kept a Pepsi glass bottle in my room (but I was too lazy to put something in it or whatsoever). I believe in God, he doesn't. I learned to see the goods things God did for me in the bad times, whereas Willie said he lost Faith because his prayers weren't answered in his worst times. I did try to explain to him, but he wouldn't understand so I gave up. He doesn't forgive easily, but I do. Although, I think we'd always forgive each other. That's just my guess. He once did something that hurt me, something really bad but I still ended up forgiving him and moving on. He never did anything stupid to me since that. I haven't done anything bad to him yet. I actually don't hurt or play with people because I'm too sensitive? Compassionate? I don't know. Meanwhile he's maybe a bit the opposite lol. He's just unaware of it when he does. He realised he was gay in 2015. I'm a straight girl. But I'm not very girly either (I sometimes wear some little jewelry, but no makeup dress or skirts). He drinks (alcohol, beer) kind of well (that's normal where we come from), but that's a no-no for me. He also recently tried electric cigarettes with different flavours for fun, which is also a no-no for me.
That's all I can think about right now.
Honestly, thank you very much if you read all this and decide to answer me...
Submitted January 31, 2019 at 06:02AM by diamondtearsinthesky http://bit.ly/2CUBQQY
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