So, I’m not too sure where to post this or who to even talk to, since I am so confused about myself. But I’ll try to keep it short and make sense of myself.
About 7 months ago, I found out my ex boyfriend of 3.5 years was cheating on me and lying about his life. I wanted to leave that relationship for a long time, so I thought that after our breakup I would feel better than never.
I was wrong. Instead of healing or trying to process what happened, I joined tinder and met a sweet guy. We went on two dates.
I wasn’t expecting much from it because I just wanted a distraction from my breakup. But I felt a ‘connection’ with this guy. I just didn’t know what ‘it was’. Eventually, I became too needy and he said we shouldn’t see each other anymore. He didn’t ghost me, he was very polite and would respond to any of my texts. Until one day he told me to get my shit together. And so I did, I cut contact with him to try and figure my life out. We haven’t spoken for 5 months or so.
But anyways, I had these past few months to realize that I need to focus on me, and try to love myself. I didn’t truly know what that meant, and I still don’t know. I keep trying to figure out each day, little by little.
All I know is that today, I don’t need reassurance of anybody. I don’t need anyone. I love being by myself, and I know I have changed since my breakup. I’m not moody anymore, and have been smiling so much more (my boss actually recognized it by saying I am always smiling at work, which is rare to hear that). I also don’t complain about my life anymore. It’s crazy to see that the influence of someone upon you makes you a different person.
I have joined the gym, went back to swimming and volleyball, and I work all day(I love my job, which makes it so much easier to wake up in the morning) so I’m constantly moving from 6 am- 10pm, 6 days a week, and on Sundays I just rest and do something more relaxing, like drawing, getting my nails done, hanging out with friends, I also sew, so I get to do my own designs and stuff.
I met new people. I’ve even found some crushes, but I just feel like it’s such a waste of time.
I also, found a passion for travelling and have been planning my next few trips. I’ve already been to Italy and Mexico.
My only problem is, I can’t forget the guy I met on tinder. He is constantly on my mind, and even though I know I have to move on, even though I know he is not perfect, he has his flaws even though we only met twice, I could see them (at least from what I was able to tell).
But the things that makes me remember him is how he treated me when we met up. I could have a proper conversation with him, we had similar taste in things, like art, music, places. Just life stuff.
I have however analyzed that he is no good. I tell myself everyday, not how bad of a person he was, but the bad stuff he would bring to my life. I even know that if I were to see him again, I know I wouldn’t be happy, because the way we left things just doesn’t make me happy. Being around him would bring a sad part of me. It would legit be a step back to reach out or to even try being with him again.
It’s funny how my ex is a nobody compared to him.
So, I’m not too sure where I was getting at with this, but has anyone gone through this? How did you move past it? Because I can’t help but to think that meeting someone new is such a hustle and it will always end up the same way. It won’t go anywhere.
I’ve been trying to find ways to even, at least, trying to think about dating and I can’t help myself but to just think “dating is a waste of time.... don’t ever do it again.” Maybe it’s too early to think about it. But then again, wouldn’t it be easier to forget the tinder guy by just meeting another guy?
Anyways, thanks for reading, if you’ve gotten this far.
Submitted January 13, 2019 at 04:05AM by Anonimosamados http://bit.ly/2TKUOAa
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