Throughout our relationships (6 months, known each other for 8) I told my boyfriend a few lies. The majority were about my sexual history (nothing like STDs), except for one which was that I never said me and a guy kissed one night after clubbing two months before we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. At that time he was having sex with multiple women and I was unaware until the last few months. I did not tell him about the kiss at all until 2 months after it happened and even then I hadn't told the full truth. But now in the last few weeks I have told him literally everything. He believes that before we were officially dating I was going on dates and/or sleeping with other men which I wasn't, and I have always told him this throughout the whole relationship because it's true. Some lies he "caught me out" for, mainly just questioning until I told him. Some I came up to him and said that what I had previously said was a lie. I understand why he struggles to believe me, I really do. I feel like I've tried a lot, but he still says I need to do more to try to rebuild the trust and I'm not trying hard enough. For example:
- I don't go to clubs or bars or get drunk with anyone but him
- I don't have any male friends or contacts anymore
- I am planning to do a polygraph test, I was going to book the appointment but he didn't really want to go through with it
- We have the same phone password
- I always tell him what I'm doing, where I'm going, etc. (not that he asks)
- I have contacted every deleted and blocked number I could find (approximately 60) and every single one has confirmed we did not go on a date. Majority I did not even meet ever
- I will get a new number which I was planning to do when I get a new phone (within the next week) so no old contacts can get in touch again
- I have deleted FaceBook and Snapchat as well as any other social media aside from reddit and an Instagram for my nail art
- I told him he can ask me anything and I will answer honestly even if what I said before was a lie
- This is kinda obvious but recently I've stopped lying and I've said if any past lies resurface I'll confront them. I've also been more honest about my past, even if what I say isn't particularly nice
Some people believe that trust can be fixed, others believe once it's gone it's gone. He flips between the two so I don't know what to do...
TL;DR: I lied to my boyfriend several times during the relationship and I want him to trust me.
Submitted December 19, 2018 at 01:47AM by kleinebanane https://ift.tt/2SUl4YA
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