Tish and Anita appear on the screen wearing outfits so beautiful that not even words could describe them. Wow they look great. Anyways, they’re in front of a white background holding two large white wands.
“Tish let’s cross swords,” Anita says playfully.
“Anita... the cameras are rolling now… Let’s be professional fish.” Tish whispers.
“Hi she’s Tish!” “Hi she’s Anita!” “And you’re watching REDDIT’S RISING STARS!!” As they say the last line they draw half a heart in the air with their wands, together making a full one. They strike a slightly awkward but elegant pose at the end and smile so they could feel their Disney channel oats. Then a Morgan Freeman voiceover starts to play over the usual theme song. Yeah, we got a Morgan Freeman budget. What of it?
“In this special episode of Reddit’s Rising Stars, we will be crowning the first ever Miss Wig! Ten queens will go head to head in a drag pageant hosting by the legend \cough** loser of Dragula \cough** Miss Bianca Bibancos. The pageant will consist of three rounds; and the winner will receive a lifetime supply of hydrogen peroxide to poison your sis- I mean for your human hair wig that the winner will also receive! Special musical guests include Beyonce Knowles (WHAAAAT OMG YAY), Selena Gomez (why) and Iggy Azealia (um wtf). Stay tuned for some behind the scenes footage before our main program begins.”
After the voiceover is finished, a shot of the girls kiki-ing and practicing their routines while in the werkroom is shown. Del scans the room left and right and chuckles to herself.
DEL: Ugh cannot wait to read this batch of submissions. Especially talent show. Seeing what categories people are doing will be fun. DO we have 10 performance art pieces? Is anyone singing/playing live? Will Diana leave that cake out in the rain? Next time on RRS...
An upclose shot of Cassandra appears. Her eyes are as red as a baboon’s ass; this bitch has been crying.
CASSANDRA: Why in the hell are we having a talent show?! Like I didn’t do bad enough on the talent show episode of Season 3 when I did my routine of being a- Oh wait. That didn’t happen. Do you see Mayday anywhere? Season 3 never happened. Don’t look it up fats. Seriously, I’ll fuck you up!!!!
Click here to view Cassandra’s tragic stripper routine.
Thankfully, Cassandra’s Season 3 sisters, Elle and Sonya come to the aid of Cassandra. They comfort her, especially Sonya because she wants a good edit.
“Don’t stress out about it, just let your ideas come to you organically,” Elle says.
“Seriously, just calm down and let’s think about what your strengths are,” Sonya says while touching Cassandra on the shoulder, with her full mug facing the camera making sure they capture her good angles.
Cassandra looks up at them. “You’re both right, I need to play to my strengths. I mean, I suck a mean dick and make a decent sangria,” Cassandra utters.
“Oh you!” Elle and Sonya say in unison.
SONYA: I’m actually excited for this talent show. I completely bombed the talent show in RDR Season 3 so this feels like a new beginning for me. I don’t like to talk about it because it really makes me sad. Look at me I’m tearing up right now. Please, whatever you do don’t read it. I don’t want anyone who wasn’t subjected to that part of me to ever have to see it.
Click here to view Sonya’s talent show performance.
Ding dong!
The doorbell rings. Who even knew that there was even a doorbell? Tish and Anita are so rude they always just barge right in. Someone better check them before they get wrecked. Anyways, a teenage male wearing a visor and hipster clothing walks in.
“Hello, your postmates order is here!” he says.
Amelia walks over to the postmates delivery man and gives him the biggest smile when he passes her the food.
“Sign here,” he says.
Amelia, still smiling at him, thanks him profusely and holds onto his arm, not letting him leave.
“Alright thanks bye!”
“Bye,” Amelia says, with wide sanpaku eyes and a large grin.
AMELIA: I’ve never felt so accepted in my life. He treated me so well and we didn’t even go full on. He’s so lovely. My heart is full.
“Awww thanks for buying food for us, Amelia. You’re so sweet. It’s been tough ever since week one when Obesia ate all of our food for the remainder of production. That fat bitch,” Aurora says.
“Food for you? Um this is awkies,” Amelia replies back.
Sir Ving is standing over by her workstation tapping her foot with her arms crossed. She used fabric from the planet fabric mood wall™, that’s planet fabric mood wall™, to create a fort because she’s a 25 year old toddler.
“Get in Becky. It’s mukbang time.” Sir Ving says sternly as she lifts up the fabric revealing Diana sitting in the fort waiting for the Dimeliacox family bonding hour to begin. Feeling bad, Amelia reaches into her postmates bag and throws a handful of jalapeno poppers at Aurora before crawling under the fort. After Sir Ving enters, a shot of a sign says “Becky’s Only” is displayed in front of the fort.
WILLOW: Who the fuck is Becky?
Portia and Aurora have a moment to themselves and discuss the challenge.
“I feel as if we should just relax and hand in our stuff late. Since everyone else will suck,” Portia says.
“Yes good idea! That way I can catch up on the latest episode of Paw Patrol! I love that our hotel rooms have free cable it’s the best,” Aurora says.
..
The sight of numerous stage lights facing downward fill the screen. The dark silhouettes of the judges can be seen in the background. As the music begins to rock, the lights flicker quickly in a strobe effect as a heavenly figure appears to rise from the floor. All of a sudden, a spotlight quickly turns on. Bitch, it’s motherfuckin Beyonce. The audience goes absolutely mad. Even though they were expecting her, it’s fucking Beyonce bitch.
Beyonce blows kisses to the judges and the lights dim once more as a giant projector turns on and projects wings onto the stage. Beyonce then performs her hit song “Run The World (Girls)” and blows everyone away.
Bianca comes out after Queen B’s performance. She has to wait for what seems like an eternity for the applause to end.
“Thank you Miss Carter, we love you! First up, the talent portion!”
Beyonce walks off the stage and so does more than half of the audience members. It’s clear they were only here for one thing.
Bianca appears back on the stage.
“Next up, an interview with our girls. Eheeemm. Our gentlemen. In their best male drag. But first, a special performance by Selena Gomez!”
Selena Gomez walks onto the stage with minimal applause. Selena is mouthing “thank you” profusely and with a large smile on her face. Someone in the audience shouts “FLOP” at the top of their lungs but Selena is too ecstatic to be performing on stage for the first time in a long while. This is her moment. She performs a mashup of her songs “Come and Get It” and “Me and the Rhythm”. She’s serving you mediocrity on a platter.
Selena goes to take her bow. “Thank you so much you all ROCK! Thanks for coming out and supporting me!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!”
*Silence*
Selena continues, “Let’s welcome back our contestants who are ready for their interviews with Bianca in their best male drag! Now walk of the stage. No seriously. Selena, get off. My god stop reading the cue cards out loud. How big was Justin’s dick? Ugh, okay we aren’t getting anywhere with this one.”
Security grabs Selena by the arm and escorts her off the stage. Bianca is now ready to start the interview portion, calling the contestants up one by one.
After the last contestant finishes her interview, Bianca turns to face the audience.
“While our beautiful contestants change into their runway look for the final round of the pageant, I would like to introduce the affordable IGGY AZEALIA TO THE STAGE!!!”
The entire audience gasps and clears out of their seats. Production turns the lights off quickly so Iggy comes out and doesn’t realize she’s performing to an empty stage. Fake sounds of audience screams are heard through the speakers to trick Igloo Australia. She performs a freestyle rap.
RANDOM UNNAMED AUDIENCE MEMBER: The moment Iggy shows up on stage is the moment you gotta take a piss break.
After her rap is over, Iggy takes a bow and begins to twerk on the stage.
“FUCK AZEALIA BANKS!!!” she yells while putting up both her middle fingers.
Bianca walks over to her and tells her that Tupac is still alive and he’s waiting to see her in her dressing room. She runs off the stage and is never seen again, thank god.
“Let’s welcome back our contestants as they strut their stuff in the final runway. In their crowns and gowns looks, here are our girls.”
..
The contestants stand in a line behind the stage in their crowns and gowns looks looking stun as ever. Bianca walks over to the judges panel and gathers placement cards from them. Bianca reads them and moves back to the stage.
Bianca, microphone in hand states, ““Ladies we have made some decisions. If I call your name please step forward.”
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Cassandra
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Del O’Ryan
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Elle Crimson
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Sonya Ponya
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Sir Ving Cox
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Willow Blue
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You represent the tops and bottoms of this week.
Amelia, Aurora, Diana, and Portia, that means that you are all safe. You may leave the stage.
Time for the judge’s critiques.
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Up first,
Cassandra,
“Hi Cassandra, so you started off on the wrong foot for me because you forgot to submit a look for the talent show! Your actual performance started off hilarious. When I started to read it I was ready to laugh my ass off but then you sort of lost your focus with the whole boyfriend thing and then everything got really uncomfortable. I know that was your intention but the jokes weren’t landing and some of the parts dragged on for me. Your best male drag was sort of, sloppy. It was rough around the edges and wasn’t what I was looking for when I said “best drag”. You have to keep in mind you’re in pageant setting, so the muddy jeans didn’t work for you. Your answers to the questions were pretty funny, I thought you did pretty well with the comedy aspect. I had a good reception to your runway. I love that crown so much, and the gown with that print is magnificent. It sort of gives me Raja vibes when she wore her rococo look. The one detail that I think might have been overboard is all the fake blood. A little goes a long way and I don’t think the blood leaving a trail on the runway was necessary for your narrative. Also, I’m not completely understanding the alienesque makeup, but it is definitely unique so I’m not that mad at it,” says Tish.
“ First thing’s first, you’re wearing Tiffany Blue for your talent show, so you immediately made me love you, cause that’s my favourite colour. However, Cassandra, I tell you time and time again that your submissions always seems like they’re rushed. You had some really good material in your talent show, but the jokes were like brushes against the skin on a crowded train. You were setting up for a good joke, and then bam, it ended so quickly that I didn’t even get to laugh or get the joke, which is sad because you’re a funny girl. I’ve told you personally that you need to focus and take some time to do the challenges because I know you can kill it. Also, I’ve received this critique before as well, but you don’t have to be so “straight forward” with your jokes in a sense that you have to describe or explain everything. Let the joke sink in and let the audience make the connection and have the “Oh, jesus, gross” moment. For your Q&A, I think you definitely missed the mark as you’re supposed to be in your best male drag and to answer the questions as if you were in a pageant, not in a talk show situation. Even then, I felt as you were going in and out of the character with the speech patterns and the way he talks. This was definitely a miss for me. The gown look was a safe toot for me. I understand the look you were going for and it was good but I’ve noticed a trend in your submissions where you base your look directly off celebrity looks. Even though you make a few adjustments here and there, it would be great if you could take inspiration from these looks and make it totally your own, unless you’re doing a cosplay look,” Anita says.
“While you talent performance had some funny one liners, it was a bit too scattershot overall, and again, not really in keeping with a pageant segment, tone/content wise. The routine jumps from house arrest, to the incompetence of Starbucks employees to reading the judges to full on incestuous redneck gross out in the span of the first half page. By throwing every type of joke in there in a seemingly mostly random order, the best lines(“only job that doesn’t require a degree”,”no we aren’t an interracial couple”) got lost in the experiments that didn’t land as well. In the interview, you missed the brief a bit by having the subject be essentially a separate character to the one introduced in your talent segment. That said, he was very one note, and the answers to the questions kept hitting the same joke beat of the ignorant, closeted redneck, without much else framework to support that idea as a recurring joke. I know you are a funny bitch, but this needed more targets than just a single aspect of the character to work. On the main runway, I love the top half of the look, and how clearly and beautifully the headpiece, hair and make up are described. It lost a bit of steam for me when the garment defaulted to the ~like x celebrity wore to y event~ shortcut, as it broke the flow and visualization of the look you had so carefully curated in the first half,” says Angie Apathy.
Up next, Del O’Ryan
“Del, I have to say from the jump your talent show portion excited me from your look alone. I absolutely love your half boy half girl look. It’s so fun. I also love that you described the makeup in detail because that’s extremely important when you want to differentiate the male and female sides. In your performance I think you did a superb job emoting the message of the song. You played the sad girl and wild “Robbie” sides very well, and there was a distinct separation between the two which was great. The carnival/circus references were also a great touch to add in considering the song choice. I thought your approach to the interview portion was hilarious. Who doesn’t love a ditzy queen? Definitely one of the best interviews of the night (in my humble opinion). Your best male drag came didn’t come off as “best drag” to me, but I think it goes with your character. I imagine a moronic soldier who fucked up and let his grenade go off too close to him, so I love it. On the runway, I thought your outfit was cool but at the same time busy. The overall silhouette was clunky, but I know I would have been living if you took off a couple pieces,” says Tish.
“First off, I love LazyTown and had the biggest crush on Sportacus, so toots for you for that reference. I’m also a big fan of Melanie, so you had me hooked from the get go. Your talent show was so well-thought out and done so well! The way you managed to convey the hyperactiveness of Robbie Rotten and switching to the opposite end of the spectrum in portraying Melanie’s song so quickly and effortlessly was so amazing to watch. The look itself was also really good as you were portraying a TV character. Each movement was taught out well and had purpose, and not just you bouncing around to the music. However, you could have mixed and matched the elements on either side to make the look more cohesive, but still keeping the contrast. The Q&A look was a fresh take on the category, which definitely helped you to stand out. You had me laughing right from the confessional, which is a sign of the good to come. Although it wasn’t on par with the rest of your submissions, it was still on the positive side. The bimbo character is an easy way out to comedy and has been overused, so that kinda hindered your performance a little, but you still managed to answer with poise (somewhat) and managed to keep it funny, which was a plus. The gown was a very interesting take too, combining the soft textures of the stole and velvet garment with the heavy metalwork piece. The drawing confused me though so I’m just gonna disregard that. I thought that with such a heavy garment, you might have wanted to go a little light on the hair, to not make your whole look seem frumpy, because as it is right now, there’s a little bit much going on. Other than that, great job this week!” Anita says.
“Carnival and sideshow history is one of my pet interests, so I was happy to see you take the risk of a half and half look, and then to tie that classic routine into your lip sync talent performance based on modern TV references. You have proven you are a clever and research savvy queen (e.g. your Bridgette character study in the dating app challenge), so I am assuming your use of movements and tricks used in actual burlesque and carnival routines of the type is no accident. Very smart and well executed choices all the way around. In the interview, your prologue (we all know Angelique is the best Angie, let the record show) and first two answers were a fantastic parody of a ditzy pageant queen trying to sound smart, and misinterpreting things in hilarious ways (very real life Miss South Carolina at the 2007 Miss USA Pageant mangling her interview geography). You did lose a bit of steam through the last question, as you went a bit too crude and direct for a pageant, and it wasn’t as well balanced as the first two answers. I didn’t hate your boy drag look, but it bordered a bit too far on the side of well executed costume to me. On the main runway, I like the color scheme and individual components of your look (the plum velvet, the drama of the fur stole, the embellished metalwork and big classic pageant hair) but the combined silhouette is very bulky and a bit disjointed between the rounded swell of the bodice of the gown and the sharper, more square points of the metalwork. I appreciate the fact that you took a risk, but the overall impact would have landed better if you had chosen one element or the other to have a strong avant garde geometric shape, rather than stacking both on top of each other,” says Angie Apathy.
Up next, Elle Crimson
“Elle, First off I’m glad you utilized the budget money and got some cool ass decorations and props for your talent show performance. Bitch, your lipsync was tight as fuck and the pop culture references you were throwing in was really on brand for you. I think you did an awesome job catering to your strengths tonight. I also think you had the most well executed performance tonight so props to you.Your best male drag look was great too. I love the baroque pattern you chose and the overall genderfuck androgyny you went for. Your interview wasn’t the funniest, but it had its moments and I appreciate that you didn’t verge into a territory that would be inappropriate for a pageant. Your runway tonight was absolute magic. The LED lights was such a genius idea,” says Tish.
“The talent show look, although simple, went well with the talent that you were serving. And bitch, that talent was TA-LENT. Your vast knowledge of pop culture never ceases to amaze me and how you blended an iconic scene into that Kim Petras song was a very smart move. You definitely served with the lip sync, as you told a haunting story of struggle and revenge through pop culture references. Definitely kept me at the edge of my seat. The look for the Q&A was great adding feminine touched to the masculine look with the inner shirt and gloves, something Ezra Miller would wear. The answers themselves were nothing to rave about, pretty normal answers but I appreciated that you went for your own type of kooky humour instead of crass/crude like some others have. Your gown was an interesting take as it wasn’t a typical “fall to the floor and done” type of gown. The look pre-glow was already a look in itself, giving a very futuristic vibe. But just as I thought the show was over, you gave us gag after gag that worked well with the look and message you were serving us. The shape, the flow, the makeup, the attention to detail going from look to look was great. Fantastic job this week!”
“There were a lot of lipsync adjacent talent performances tonight, but doing a full on Busby Berkeley style lipsync and musical number as a tribute to slasher film classics is the same sort of off kilter fun I enjoyed so much in your runway concept last week. It is definitely the most original idea of the lot. The more playful side of Elle Crimson has a wonderful hand on balancing more serious/fashion oriented moments with retro drag camp. The choreo was well thought out, and you made solid use of the expanded allowance for extras and props. I do wish the path and look post survival was a tiny bit more detailed, but it wasn’t such a huge issue that I couldn’t enjoy your performance. This is a incredibly strong lipsync. In the interview, you boy look was elegant genderfuckery, and looked appropriately higher end and carefully considered for the context. You started off strong and funny in your first interview question, and your answer was a nice twist on the easy target of those who are gluten free for trendy reasons. Questions two and three kind of flatlined into vapid skinny legend territory, and the stream of consciousness aspect of the responses didn’t quite land as characterization or comedy, for me. It was an odd uncanny valley between the two. On the main runway…...right when I was about to write this off as a well executed and overly monochromatic version of the perennial Judy Jetson hooker, you flicked the switch on the LEDS and used them to give me the color and the cheeky humor the pre lighting version of the gown lacked, with a bonus side of BRANDING in literal neon bolded fonts. This is daft. This is delightful. Great job,” says Angie Apathy.
Up next, Sonya Ponya
“Sonya, I thought your entire performance was so unique. The shakespeare, the knives, the Glamtinaness of it all was really enthralling. I just loved how much fun you had with it, which is why I’m a fan of the Glamtina persona because it allows you to think even further outside the box. The interview was funny to me and I got what you were going for immediately. And your boy look was interesting too with the orange and green colors. It reminded me of my first ever runway which followed the same scheme. Your runway was also quite good as well, just a bit confused about the silhouette. But overall, a job done well,” says Tish
“You had a simple look for the talent show which is understandable for the act you were doing. The act itself was a very unique talent, which was pretty entertaining in and of itself, watching you try to not kill yourself with flaming knives while reciting Shakespeare. The performance was captivating, interesting and when we thought that was it, you had a great ending with the disappearing knives. It was very “Now You See Me” and I was very entertained. The look for the Q&A was simple yet stunning. The colour combinations match perfectly and it’s something I can see myself wearing, so the realism was a plus. Your answers started off strong, very pageant, which was what we were looking for and the comedy, although not too strong, was there. Then you went from this well-spoken character to someone who was struggling to form words. I know it was intentional, but I don’t think it worked well with the direction you set yourself going. Your runway was very creative as well, using the city as inspiration for your look. I liked the crown a lot, and the pink in the look matching the pink in the garment was also really cool. However, I had a hard time picturing what the actual garment’s silhouette looks like, since you only described it as “intentionally boxy”. Other than that, good job!” says Anita.
“In both your talent and interview segments, I appreciated the consistency of your characterization. The balance between the more cringe and awkward humor with traditional punchlines was very well done, and I got a very clear sense of who your contestant was. Socially awkward, a bit of a reluctant overachiever, practiced and polished to give the correct “pageant” actions and answers, but a bit resistant to the idea. Your performance look was quite simple, but it suited the context in which you placed it.
Your boy look was polished, youthful and I enjoyed the slight retro touches of the color scheme and the pocket hankie.You delivered utterly nonsensical answers in rehearsed ways, like a stage kid who’s training kicks in where their actual knowledge is non existent, which was humorous enough in the context of the setup you provided. It did come off a tiny bit more robotic than I would have liked, as the interview segment is a good chance to show some other aspects of the character, but that’s not a huge issue.
On the main runway, I loved the bright, graphic brick and graffiti print, and the cityscape headdress was a very original take on the theme, as well as a bit of a departure for you, as this has a more downtown, streetwear vibe. I wish I knew a bit more in regards to the shape of the padding versus the gown. Is the hip padding boxy like a pixel art version of a pannier? Or boxy in shape and structure like Eric Tibusch pieces? Inquiring minds would liked to have known, as I have a feeling I would really enjoy the shape and print combination, if I were certain of what it was,” says Angie Apathy.
Up next, Sir Ving Cox
“Hey girlie! Let’s rip the bandaid off. Your talent show portion wasn’t my favorite of the night. You were giving us one dimensional stripper if I’m being truthful. Which don’t get me wrong is a talent, but you were outshined by the other girls. On top of that, the fact you included judge reactions hindered you because it made for a lot of filler in your routine where you could have focused on more important things. Also, it was hard to figure out what you were doing to the music playing as you didn’t leave timestamps nor did you lip sync to the Nicki Minaj track. I was really looking forward to your performance as you’ve been killing this competition but I was left with blue balls. Your male drag look was the tits and one of my favorites of the category. Your interview, however, didn’t do it for me. I know you were going for ditzy airhead pageant queen but I didn’t get much funny from it and your demeanor wasn’t pageant at all. As for your runway, I did really like it. You have a clever and unique way of writing and presenting your looks which makes it funny and I love that so much. I did like your concept for your look a lot and I think you did fine job in that aspect.” says Tish.
“I know we said you could do anything for your talent show but man, did I feel like I was at a strip club. I was entertained, most definitely but for the wrong reasons, unfortunately. When you inserted a track, I thought you were going to lipsync to it, and then I realised you made your own song, which sorta snapped me out of the confusion. A rule of thumb for your future submissions, if you make it to the next round, is to never include judges’ reactions in your performance. I’ve gotten this critique once before and I’m sharing this knowledge with you. If I were to remove those “fillers”, your talent show would be pretty short, and you could have done so much more than just “sideshow hooker”. Like I’ve said before, we know you can do sexy, but what else? The look for the Q&A is pretty cool, having a runway-ready military look for such a “sissy” character. I couldn’t imagine the cut of the pants though, as usually military pants are baggy at the bottom and tucked in with a gutter. So without that, the dress shoes would be swallowed by it. The answers themselves were….. I have no words. I was so confused. I know you were trying to emulate those ditzy Miss USA contestants but it didn’t help you go anywhere. It was neither funny, nor pageant and didn’t really provide a concrete answer to the questions. For your gown look, I’m glad you lost the huge ass breastplate and went for something more diverse. I liked the garment by itself, but everything else added on it made it look like too busy. You already had a number of prints on the garment, then you added on a coat with 2 more prints. On top of that, you added on big glasses that cover your already muted makeup, which kinda made your features drown in the look. If you had lost the glasses and brought out the colour more in the makeup and lost the coat, it would have been a better look, imo.” says Anita.
“Across all 3 portions of your submission tonight, you burned a lot of time and detail writing judges’ reactions. Given that we are going to react to it as we are reading it (in a manner that may have nothing to do with the ones you have written), this space would have been better spent detailing your actual looks, performance and interview answers. As it stands, it reads as filler.
“That said your actual talent performance is a credible enough aerialist/competitive pole dancer routine, and the outfit made sense in context of your persona, though it wasn’t the most exciting of the aesthetic choices you have made thus far. Its an accurate representation of stripper gear in one of the flashier clubs, all leather, metallics and carefully placed cutouts. Your verse was accurate enough rap braggadocio but it lacked the wit and sly humor of some of your previous efforts. Given this is a pageant though, it may have been a wiser choice to go more athletic and aerialist than straight up club dancer. You have an over the top, sugar baby/golddigger persona, but I have yet to see you utilize the full spectrum of ideas that gives you to play with….from spring break thot to Anna Nicole Smith to Zhang Ziyi going from international movie star to ultra expensive prostitute. I would like to see a bit more variety in translating your persona to challenges, not in the sense of the size of your breastplate or tendency toward more revealing looks…..but in the sense of there are a whole lot of ways to be a whore, and each one has its own accessories, actions and looks. In the interview, your boy look was delightfully gilded and capital G gay, and is the sort of clever translation of your aesthetic to other contexts I want to see more of from you. It still read as the hyperfemme and hypersexualized that is peak Sir, but in an entirely different way than we usually see her. The long blonde hair, the sheer extraness of the metallic chestplate, the manicured nails under the gloves, it all added up to an on brand characterization. As to the actual answers, there wasn’t a lot of content in between the deer in headlights looks and the hemming and hawing. Even when your goal is a vapid character, there still needs to be some punchlines amongst the blankness. On the main runway, your dress is a beautiful silhouette, and the soft fabric helps balance the heavy fur of the bolero, and the multiple animal prints in the gown itself. That said, with the big headpiece, multiple patterns and the fur, you didn’t need the glasses or the monkey statuettes. It took a look that was otherwise more fashion focused and streamlined, and pushed it into messier, overly busy territory.”says Angie Apathy.
And finally, Miss Willow Blue:
“Willow, I’m sorry to say your talent show roast wasn’t the best tonight. In a roast or any form of stand up comedy the most important thing is not the joke but the way the joke is told. Your pacing and explanations of the jokes you were cracking really held your comedy back. In your interview, you looked great; I loved your simple yet luxurious look. It was beautiful. Your demeanor for the interview felt awkward in my opinion. You were angry and it was one note. I think if you were going to be full on mad, you should have had a build up until you finally snapped. I think it is important to remember that each answer to the question wasn’t a project on it’s own, but it’s an overall cohesive piece. So you could have started off smaller and had a slow but sure buildup of emotions, which would have added a nice dynamic to your interview. I found your runway to be quite beautiful. You were serving me fairytale princess and I loved it. I think it was a little tough to read in some areas, like when you were explaining the shape of the gown’s skirt. But overall, I liked it,” says Tish.
“My dear Willow, your look was a little confusing to me as there were some typos in there that didn’t help me understand the look at all. I understood the hair, the mug, the nails but the garment itself was a little confusing. Same as Diana, you should go back and relook into your submission for errors before you submit, so that we can understand the look better. The act itself was…. Rough. I totally understand this mistake you made as I make the same mistakes too when I do comedy; I talk too fucking much. What I learned from that is that when you try to deliver comedy, try to use lesser words to get straight to the joke and deliver the punchlines, or else you’ll just sound like you’re recounting a story, which no one wants to listen to at a talent show or a comedy stand up. There were some jokes in there, but the delivery of it left much more to be desired. The look for your Q&A was simple, nothing notably unique about it. Your answers were an interesting take. They never really answered the questions and you focused more on the 2 characters in your story. The further we progressed, the further away you got from the main point of the Q&A. And I know you were trying to portray this almost bipolar character, but it didn’t work for me. The runway was a pretty good look, definitely a step up from the other looks we’ve seen tonight. The presentation was also very good, putting your own Willow angst to the Queen of Hearts look. A stylistic opinion, you might want to break the whole monotonous vibe of the dress with a small belt around the waist in a different colour. One more advice is, I know you struggle a lot with the names of different silhouettes and fashion terms for garments. What I did, and it would be good for you to adopt, is for you to enter the phrase or sentence you were going to use in the submission into Google and look for appropriate term for it. If not, feel free to link your picture references either in the text or at the end of your submission. It’s definitely done me wonders for my looks and I think it would definitely help you convey your message better.” says Anita.
“In the talent segment, you had some funny moments, but they got a little lost amongst all of the setup and explanation leading into the actual punchlines. In some spots it seems you got a touch too caught up in literal retellings of events that lead up to your jokes. Overexplanation is the enemy of funny, so be careful of pacing.
In your interview, your boy look was neat, a clean silhouette, and appropriate for a pageant vibe. In the actual answers, you needed more of a slow escalation from normal to seething resentment to murderous anger for the story you were telling across the course of the answers to really work. It isn’t enough to just look normal, you need to initially sound normal as well. A gradual build of tension is what makes ideas along those lines have impact. Give the audience a moment to empathize with your seemingly “normal” character before you start amping up. On the main runway, I like the strong graphic impact of the mostly pale face against the bright reds of the hair, crown and gown. The bodice having a sleeve but a deep cut neckline was pretty, but it was a bit confusing as to what the structure of the actual skirt of the gown was. I was not certain if it was a ruched/pleated ball skirt, or if it had actual peaks and valleys due to internal supports inside the skirt. Your presentation of the garment was on point for a Queen Of Hearts inspired look, if a bit literal to the many book and film adaptations of the same character. In any case, it sold your essential idea.” says Angie Apathy.
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Ladies, we would first like to officially announce our top three queens.
Congratulations Del O’Ryan, Elle Crimson and Sonya Ponya.
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But as we all know there could only be one Miss Wig.
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Our second runner up is…..
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Sonya Ponya.
Sonya, you were sharp as a knife tonight. You may leave the stage.
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Your first ever Miss Wig is…
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Elle Crimson.
“BIRTH!” Elle exclaims as her name is called. Confetti cannons go off as Bianca rushes over to Elle who is hugging Del, carrying a large lilac wig sculpted into a crown shape. She scalps Elle of her current wig and throws the wig crown. She throws a sash onto her that says “Miss Wig 2018”.
“Elle, you were killer on the stage tonight and shined bright in your LED gown tonight. Condragulations baby. Go forth and prance my queen.” Tish says.
ELLE: I really don’t know what to say. No, seriously. I didn’t submit a winning confessional!
“Elle and Del, OOOOOH that rhymes, you may leave the stage.
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My bottom three, what can I say….
Cassandra, your standup routine should be considered a crime…
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Willow Blue, your roast wasn’t cookin’....
Sir Ving Cox, your stripper crashed into the pole…. HARD….
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Cassandra, you are safe.
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That means Sir Ving Cox and Willow Blue you are both up for elimination.
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SIR VING COX: They think I gave them stripper realness? They ain’t seen nothing yet.
WILLOW: This sucks right now, I have to lipsync again, and as much as I hated doing it the first time, I will do it again if it means I get to stay, sorry *insert opponent here* but you have to go so I can stay.
“Ladies, prior to tonight you’ve been asked to prepare a lipsync to “Any Man of Mine” by mother Shania Twain. Good luck…. And don’t fuck it up”
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Condragulations to Elle, our Miss Wig! Goodluck to Sir Ving and Willow!
Here are the stunning Angelique’s critiques. They would have made it into the episode but it was too damn long. Text text, what’s on the menu?
Lipsyncs are due Monday at 11:59AM EST.
Your mini challenge this week is to create a unique a product to sell. Come up with a quick description of your product and why you think Anita and I should buy it. Think Shark Tank but roughly 100-150 words.
Bye.
Submitted November 10, 2018 at 06:15AM by devthefirecat https://ift.tt/2OxWtpP
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